Trapped
by Carmelle Christos
Summary: She held me in her strong, loving arms. I whimpered suddenly, knowing I didn't deserve to be here. She deserved better than me."Shh. I'm here, Ali. I'm not going anywhere" she said, holding me forever tighter to her. I never wanted to let go. Rated M.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, this is my first fic so I hope you guys don't mind the lesbian coupling! It's really a sweet story that Alice has to tell. Stick around to find out exactly what makes pixie smile and exactly what makes pixie tick.**

**DISCLAIMER: I wish I owned many things involving _Twilight_, but sadly I do not. I do however own the plot and any extra characters placed in the story!**

**Thanks for reading and give a southern belle some reviews, why dontcha?  
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**Trapped**

**One**

I had no one to turn to now. I was reduced to a pile of tears as I sat alone in a deserted female restroom. No one ever came in here, so I figured it was safe to cry.

Victoria, that bitch, had humiliated me in front of my peers for the last time. Pulling on my hair was one thing, jealously ruining my clothes was another, but the way she humiliated me today was the last straw for me, the end of my reputation as I knew it.

I know, I sounded so melodramatic crying over my high school reputation but this was different. Now nobody would look at me the same, whether I was in high school or not. Nobody would treat me the same.

What hurt the most was that I wasn't sure if I was angry or not.

A part of me felt hurt, yes. A dominant part, confused. But a sliver of my being was…relieved.

A part of me thanked Victoria for doing what I couldn't do, but that still doesn't take back the things she said, the things she did.

Suddenly I felt violated and vulnerable and…alone.

Not a shoulder to cry on, no arms to wrap around me and no words of comfort whispered in my ear.

Emmett was at football practice with Jasper and Edward, their girlfriends, Rosalie, Maria and Tanya no doubt watching from the bleachers.

And after the horrible things I said to Bella, who knew if she'd ever even take a glance in my direction again.

I struggled with this information, sobbing louder as I remembered her face as she walked away from me.

How could I have been so stupid? How could I have said those things, hurt the one person that meant so much to me?

I didn't blame anyone but myself for this.

I'd pushed her away and it came back to bite me in the ass. When I needed her the most, she was gone.

And I was alone.

When the bell rang, signaling the end of the hour and a half afterschool block, I tried to quiet my sobs, listening for any students lingering from tutoring, performing arts or indoor sports.

When I was sure they'd all left and I was alone again, I released my pain. I could have easily run out to the football field and found Rosalie since the sports teams stayed afterschool for two hours, but I didn't have the strength or the heart to.

I didn't deserve comfort. I deserved to feel the pain I'd inflicted on Bella, and then multiplied by three. But this was simply a glimpse of what I'd done. I couldn't imagine how bad she was hurting. This was simply punishment for my heartless, selfish deeds.

At some point the door to the bathroom creaked open. I didn't have the strength to run and hide in a bathroom stall. I couldn't even lift my head to glare hopelessly at the intruder. I kept my head bowed, tucked between my knees, my arms wrapped around them and I sobbed.

The intruder walked up to me and I would have thought she was a staff member until I opened my eyes and saw a pair of all black Chuck Taylors before me, contrasting against my silver flats.

I still couldn't look up, though. The intruder reached down, placing her warm hands under my arms and pulling me effortlessly to her chest. My hands, squished between our bodies found their way around her waist and I pulled the intruder closer. I didn't want to be alone.

One of the intruder's hands reached up to stroke my hair gently as the other pressed me into her and held me there tightly.

She kept my head pressed against her shoulder, letting me ruin her shirt with my tears.

I still hadn't seen her face, but I didn't need to, I knew who she was.

She placed a comforting kiss in my undeserving hair and held me as I sobbed louder. She was being so nice. I shouldn't deserve this. She shouldn't be comforting me. I should be begging for her forgiveness.

I tried to pull away and apologize to her, but she was stronger than me. She held me in place and continued stroking my hair.

"I-I'm s-s-sor-ry" I stopped, burying my face in her shoulder. "I-" I tried to explain but the words got caught in my throat.

"Shh" she silenced me softly, lovingly. "It's okay" she whispered. "I'm here, it's okay."

I kept trying to apologize but she simply kept whispering "It's okay, I'm here" until my sobs had quieted to hiccups and then disappeared entirely.

She held me still as tears no longer ran down my burning cheeks, stroking and kissing my hair tenderly.

Not a word passed between us as she held me in her strong, loving arms.

I whimpered suddenly, knowing I didn't deserve to be here. She deserved better than me.

"Shh. I'm here, Ali. I'm not going anywhere" she said, holding me forever tighter to her fit body.

I nuzzled my face into her neck and listened to her sigh in content.

"Bella" I mumbled, holding onto her waist desperately. I never wanted to let go.


	2. Chapter 2

**Trapped**

**Two**

Normal, that's all I ever wanted to be. I was already popular, simply because I lucked out. My brother was Emmett McCarty – Fork's High School's legendary quarterback. He made history when he was voted Captain of the Spartans Football Team his freshman year. Three years later, he's a senior and he's still the Captain. Sure, people were jealous, but it was hard to hate him once you got t know the big teddy bear.

Then there was Rosalie Hale, Homecoming Queen Material, the blonde bombshell that all the boys – and Heidi Dea – wanted. She was the long time girlfriend of my brother. Yes, she was a bitch, but with good reason. Everyone in her life had completely checked out, her entire family. They cared more about their careers than her welfare. Neglect turned her into an "Ice Princess" as they call her, but once she started dating Emmett, I realized that she was really a sweetheart. She loved unconditionally as long as you could prove yourself worthy.

Jasper Hale was Rosalie's brother. He was gorgeous and he had a completely soothing presence. All of the girls had a crush on him, but he didn't let that get to his head. He was the only relative Rosalie still cared about. I met him while I was waiting for Emmett to finish up with football practice. He was relieved to finally meet a girl that wasn't trying to get into his pants. We hit it off instantly.

Maria Whitlock – Jasper's girlfriend. I didn't like her. I eventually realized that Jasper was in love with her so I reached out and made an effort to connect with her. It seemed important to him that we get along. Even after I reached out, I found out that she wasn't that bad, but I just couldn't bring myself to care for her the way I cared for Rosalie. Rosalie was my sister. Maria was my best friend's girlfriend.

Then there was Edward Cullen, also on the football team. Sure he was a handsome boy, but his ego was too large for me. He hit on every girl that walked by. Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie had to punch him in the face a few times just so he could get the hint that I wasn't interested. Even then, he still hit on me from time to time.

Last but not least – that's Maria's place – there was Tanya Denali, Edward Cullen's most recent girlfriend. They seemed to work for each other. So far, they've been dating for two months, a record for Edward. As long as she could keep him in check, she was fine by me. Still, she was no Rosalie.

And then there was me, Alice McCarty, the final piece to our close-knit group. I was a fashion-maniac. As long as I had a decent surface and something to create with, I was sketching clothing designs. I had to change my house key twice because I had worn out the metal. Our lunch table, full of carved-in designs was explanation enough. I was energetic but valued my privacy and a socialite but very conserved. I had many friends, but none of them really knew me. Only Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie knew me, and they loved me for who I was. I'd never taken them for granted.

I just never knew how much I would need them my junior year at Forks High.

"Alice" a woman whispered.

"Alice, get up. We're going to be late."

I groaned and rolled away from the woman.

"Alice McCarty, don't make me get Emmett on you" she threatened.

I groaned louder and turned to glare at the woman.

"Rosalie, don't you have your own house?"

She smirked at me and ripped the sheets off of my pajama covered body, ignoring my question entirely. I didn't blame her. Her parents were never home. She and Jasper always stayed over here since my parents were away almost as much as hers. Of course while she and Jasper each had their own room, it was no shock that she wasn't sleeping in hers.

"Come on, we've got hot-pockets for breakfast. Hurry up and get ready" she smiled and headed for the door.

"Don't want to be late for the first day of school, now do we?" I mocked. She laughed as she walked down the hallway and I headed into my bathroom to quickly freshen up.

The three of them were sitting in the kitchen chatting happily when I found them. I gave each of them a quick kiss on the cheek and grabbed my hot pocket.

"Morning" I said cheerfully before taking a bite.

They all looked at me with incredulous expressions.

"Don't look at me like that" I smiled. "You should realize that I'm naturally energetic by now."

Rosalie rolled her eyes.

"I don't need coffee like you weaklings." I laughed and headed for the door.

As usual, Rosalie rode to school in Emmett's Jeep while Jasper chased me into his truck. I liked having him around. He was like a second brother to me.

I don't know what I was expecting when I got to school. Living in Forks was always the same, the same people, the same routine each and every day. We hadn't had a new kid in years. Everybody knew each other already.

I walked through the halls waving at familiar faces and responding to a few kids screaming, "Hi Alice". I was relieved by the time lunch rolled around and I entered the cafeteria.

James waved at me, Victoria glared at me, Jane smiled at me and Tyler…

Tyler Crowley assaulted me with his usual pleading.

"Alice! Hi!" I tried my best to hide the flinch that came with being near him.

"Tyler…" I greeted, forcing a smile onto my face.

"What's up? Are you excited about the new year?"

"Sure" I nodded, desperately searching for help.

"Cool. Hey, I was wondering, since it's a new year and all, you want to go out with me sometime?"

I looked at him and felt bad for having to crush his sad, undeveloped, pre-pubescent feelings.

"Um…Tyler" I started, grateful when Jasper came up behind me.

"Alice" he greeted, smirking. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and hugged me to him.

"I need your help with something" he said and directed me towards our lunch table. I followed his lead without so much as a glance back in Tyler's direction.

"Thank you" I breathed in relief. He chuckled and took his seat next to Maria.

"No problem, but now you owe me" he grinned.

I rolled my eyes. "Like hell I do," I chuckled.

Edward sauntered up to our table and took a seat between me and Tanya, his arms resting on the backs of both of our chairs. He moved his arm away from me when Rosalie glared at him. I smiled my thanks.

"So, how was your first day" Rosalie asked the table. Everyone gave the same generic answer. "Fine", "Cool", "Alright", because everybody knew that back to school in Forks came with no surprises. I was wrong, however when Emmett spoke up.

"I heard that we're getting a new kid tomorrow" he said and everyone turned their attention to him. "I heard Mrs. Cope talking about it in the main office. I didn't get a name but she was definitely making arrangements for a new student" he smiled, happy to share his gossip. I swear he was such a girl sometimes.

I can't say I wasn't excited though.

Rosalie caught my expression and smirked. "Maybe the new kid could get a rise out of Alice" she grinned while Emmett laughed.

"I don't think anyone in Forks can get a rise out of Ali" he sent me a mocking look.

I shrugged. "Look, just because none of these dorks hold any interest for me doesn't mean there's something wrong with me." I smiled.

Edward frowned and looked at me. "I'm a dork?" he asked, really looking hurt.

"No Edward, you're not a dork." He smiled. "You're mentally challenged and loving a retard is hard work" I smirked. Rosalie laughed out loud and gave me a high five as Edward frowned. I could see Tanya silently laughing on his other side.

"That's cold, Alice" he said sadly.

"Oh grow a pair" Rosalie chuckled, rolling her eyes.

The table adopted trivial conversation as we ate our lunches. When the bell rang, I headed off to English. I wandered the hallways and finally came to the correct room, sitting in the seat Mr. Banner assigned to me.

Once he'd taken attendance, I realized that nobody was sitting to my left, a desk by the window, and my thoughts wandered to the new kid.

What was his name? What did he look like? Is he cute? Will he like me?

I didn't want to be the odd one out anymore.

I wanted to meet the new kid.

**Author's Note: **

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	3. Chapter 3

**Trapped**

**Three**

The new kid. Forks High School was getting a new kid. Finally.

No name. No face for the nameless junior.

All there was to do was wait.

So I waited.

I finished my day at school and got a ride with Jasper back to my house. Unfortunately, I had to sit in the backseat while Maria groped my best friend in the front.

It took a great deal of effort on my part to keep my disgusted grunts to myself. A few slipped out and Jasper caught my eye in the rearview mirror, smirking. I rolled my eyes at him and shoved my iPod deep into my ears. I closed my eyes and effectively tuned out the two lovers up front.

I was shaken awake, vigorously, by the time I had to get out of the car. Now, normally I wouldn't mind being shaken, but Maria was the one shaking me. I was trying desperately to like her, but her putting her hands on me like that was not helping her case.

If I was stronger, I would have punched her in the face. Instead, I glared at her. "Don't ever put your hands on me again" I spat while Jasper frowned and Rosalie glared at her. She stared dumbly at me which pissed me off even more.

I sighed and walked into my house, choosing to ignore her for the rest of the day.

I'd finally stopped pouting when she left.

"Is she gone yet?" Rosalie asked Jasper as he came back into the living room.

"Yeah, she left with Tanya and Edward" he said, taking a seat next to me and wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

"Thank God" I muttered, leaning into his side. Rosalie chuckled.

"Why don't you like her?" Jasper asked, clearly upset.

"Why don't you like Edward?" I countered.

"That's not the same, Alice. Edward is a douche. Maria is my girlfriend."

"Oh, please" I said. "You didn't like Edward before you found out he was a douche."

"Ok" he sighed in defeat, "But that gives me more reason to dislike him now. Maria is still my girlfriend."

"Exactly" I said. "I didn't like her before, and now I have more reason to dislike her."

"What exactly are you saying, Alice?" Jasper smiled. "Do you have a crush on me?"

I groaned in disgust and shoved away from him. "In your dreams, Blondie" I mocked, rising from the couch.

"Hey!" he called after me, chuckling and reaching for me. "I was just joking, come back."

I rolled my eyes and dodged his arms, heading for the stairs. "I'm going to bed guys" I looked at Jasper. "Next time your woman touches me, I'm going to sic Rosie on her" I grinned. Jasper dismissed me with a wave of his hand, but me and Rosalie knew just how serious I was.

Sleep.

It was impossible when thoughts of the new kid wouldn't leave my mind.

Would he like my friends? Would my friends like him? Would he ask me out?

I groaned and forced myself to count sheep. I didn't know a thing about the new kid and already I was obsessed.

Bagels lined the table by the time I'd stumbled out of my room and down to the kitchen.

"If we're going to keep living like this, somebody needs to learn how to cook" I mumbled, grabbing a cup of coffee from across the ostentatiously large kitchen.

"Aw what's wrong Ali Cat? I thought you were 'naturally energetic'" my brother mocked as his girlfriend and my replacement brother laughed at me.

"Shove it" I mumbled and walked out of the house, waiting patiently beside Jasper's truck.

Luckily, he didn't make a comment on my mood as we rode to the school.

My mood lifted as soon as I set foot inside the building. I kept searching for unfamiliar faces, frowning when I came up empty.

By the time lunch finally came around, I figured it was just my luck that I didn't run into the new kid.

People were whispering descriptions of him, rather appealing descriptions, I might add.

"Tall", "Fit", "Quiet", "Sexy", "Mysterious".

These words spread throughout the school like the plague but all I knew for sure about the new kid was his last name – Swan. His dad was the beloved Police Chief of Forks. Sure that's slightly intimidating, but I still wanted to meet him. I kind of liked him already.

I took my usual seat beside Edward, ignoring him as he tried to hug me.

Emmett came rushing over, tugging Rosalie behind him. "Have you guys met the new kid?" he asked, grinning from ear to ear.

I frowned, preparing to say no when Jasper spoke up. "Yup" he grinned. "Met Swan in P.E." he said proudly.

"I got Earth Science with Swanie" Emmett grinned. "The new kid's freaking awesome!"

"Whooped my ass in basketball" Jasper remembered with a slight frown. "I wonder how Swan plays football."

"I don't know" Emmett said, craning his neck to search the cafeteria, most likely searching for "Swan".

"I haven't met the new kid yet" I pouted. "You think he'll like me?"

Emmett and Jasper froze. They looked at me, then each other and finally turned their stares down to their lunches as if they were in on some kind of joke.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing" Jasper chuckled and quickly changed the subject.

I was pissed by the time I made it to my English class. My brothers had met the object of my obsession before I did and they already loved him. At this rate, I'd never get to spend any time getting to know him.

The classroom slowly started to fill with students and I took out my notebook, choosing to design until class began…and then maybe until class ended.

I wasn't paying attention to anything around me when I heard the desk next to me move. I looked up and gasped.

I'd never seen this face before. This must be the new kid. But…the new kid was a girl.

A very beautiful girl.

She had long mahogany hair pulled into a tight pony-tail at the back of her head. She had a sharp face that oddly reminded me of a heart. Her eyebrows were perfectly arched but I could tell she'd never waxed them before. Her nose was slightly crooked but it worked for her. It added to her unmistakable beauty. She had full, uneven lips – the top being slightly fuller than the bottom.

And her eyes, God, her eyes were beautiful. They were the perfect shade of hazel. A general light brown color with flecks of green and gold sprinkled in them.

Then there were her clothes. She wore black skinny jeans that weren't too tight to make me worry about her blood circulation, but tight enough to show me that there was something very lovely underneath that fabric. Her top was a dark gray T shirt with headphones across the front. I looked down to see all black Chuck Taylors on her feet, but it was the one particular accessory resting on the top of her head that gave me the courage to speak to her.

I leaned over and whispered, "If you don't mind my asking…why are you wearing sunglasses in rainy, overcast, Forks, Washington?"

She looked over at me as if for the first time and her eyes widened slightly. She leaned about an inch towards me but it didn't matter. I could feel some tension between us.

"I'm from Arizona. I used to need them. Now it's a habit" she said and moved away from me. I was still reeling from the sound of her voice – soft yet powerful, full of confidence and authority; lower than most females, but still very feminine.

As she gazed out the window, I found myself inexplicably drawn to her, fascinated by even the subtlest of movements. I noticed that she seemed to be sifting through her memories because every now and then, she would duck her head and smile slightly.

I frowned when I realized that this was rare. I frowned when I realized that most of her memories made her frustrated or unhappy.

I could tell by the way her gentle lips turned downward and her brows furrowed, crinkling her forehead in the cutest of ways.

What was her name? She looks so beautiful. Why do I find her cute? Does she like me?

Almost as if she could read my mind, she glanced over at me and smiled.

My insides turned to absolute mush.

**A/N: Don't forget your brownie points! If I hit 30 or more reviews then I'll start writing Chapter Four today. **

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	4. Chapter 4

**Trapped**

**Four**

To say I was confused would be an understatement.

All my life, I'd been attracted to boys. I've had daydreams about gorgeous celebrities. Hell, I used to think Jasper was hot!

And then this Goddess walks into my life and without so much as a glance in my direction, she's got me wrapped around her slim, elegant finger.

God, I don't even know her name!

I chose to ignore the new kid for the remainder of the period, not that she even cared. She kept staring out that window, I wasn't sure if she was even listening to Mr. Banner's lecture. I know I wasn't. I was too distracted by her mere presence.

Every breath she inhaled, I could hear it. Every time she ducked her head, I could see it. Every time she moved, I could feel it. I had no control over the affect she had on me.

But I liked it.

The bell rang and I gathered my things slowly, trying to clear my head, when Victoria bumped into me.

My navy Jimmy Choo handbag fell from my tiny hands, releasing my books onto the floor and sending my pens rolling in every direction.

I looked up from my scattered belongings into Victoria's smirking face. "Oops. Sorry" she feigned innocence. "Next time you should watch where you're going." I glared at her and she cocked an eyebrow at me, daring me to do something. I wanted to, so badly, but if it came down to it, I'd easily lose in a fight against her.

Suddenly, I wasn't so angry anymore when the new kid blocked my view of Victoria before bending to pick up a few of my books. I looked at her in shock before smirking at Victoria, who had now turned her glare to the new kid's back.

The new girl turned to grab a stray pen by Victoria's foot as I picked up my bag. I watched in horror as Victoria stepped on my pen just as the new girl reached for it.

She sighed and looked up at a devilishly smiling Victoria.

"Excuse me" the new girl asked politely. Victoria scoffed and flipped a strand of her curly red locks over her shoulder.

"Could you move your foot?" the new girl tried again.

Victoria stared down at her harshly and said, "No".

The new girl sighed and I could tell she was getting frustrated.

"Look, it's my first day and I don't want to do anything stupid. Just give me the pen and we can all be on our way" she tried one more time.

Victoria smirked. "I don't care if you're new or not. Any friend of _hers_ is an enemy of mine" she seethed, pointing at me and sending me a disgusted look. The new girl's patience was completely used up. She gazed up at Victoria, her eyes filled with exasperation.

Suddenly, almost too quickly for me to see, the new girl grabbed Victoria's ankle and lifted her foot quickly, throwing her off balance and send her crashing to the floor, landing on her flat ass with a loud thump.

Victoria gasped in shock and scrambled to escape from the room before anyone could comment on her fall.

The new girl smirked and grabbed my pen, walking over to me quietly.

"Thank you" I said shyly.

"For what?" she asked, sounding genuinely curious.

"For standing up for me, most people are afraid of Victoria." I explained.

"Are you afraid of her?" she asked. I shrugged and averted my gaze but not before catching the frown that spread across her lips.

"Don't worry about her" she said, handing me my books. My breath hitched as her warm hand grazed mine for a moment. I looked up from under my lashes to see her smiling down at me. The butterflies immediately returned to my stomach.

The new girl nodded and walked out of the classroom, carrying nothing but a forest green binder and a single pen.

"Wait!" I called as I chased her into the hallway. She turned to look at me, raising an eyebrow.

"I, Um…" I stuttered. I saw the smile forming at the corner of her lips as she glanced at her shifting feet before looking back up at me.

I moved to stand in front of her. Damn, she was tall. "I'm – I – Um…my name is Alice." I reached my hand out towards her and she grinned at me. "Alice McCarty."

She took my hand into hers and squeezed softly. Despite her highly athletic physical appearance, she regarded my hand with practiced tenderness. She seemed to be wary of her own strength.

"That's a beautiful name, Alice" she smiled and released my hand. I wanted to frown at the loss of contact but I was smiling at the way she said my name. It rolled off her tongue as if she'd been using it for years.

She started to walk away and I realized I still didn't know her name. "Wait!"

She smirked at me, aware of what she'd done. "You're going to be late."

I dismissed her comment with a wave. "You never told me your name."

Her smirk softened into a kind smile, her hazel eyes dancing with happiness.

"Bella Swan" she said quietly.

"Fitting" I replied. The late bell ringing startled me into motion as I headed towards my next class.

The new girl waved at me and went on her way, seeming at ease with her obvious tardiness.

I smiled to myself as I scurried through the hallways, my hand still burned from where she'd touched me.

I walked into my class late and grinning like a fool. Taking my seat quickly, I wondered what was wrong with me, but I couldn't bring myself to care.

I couldn't get her off my mind.

Bella Swan.

**A/N: I know this chapter is pretty short, but I've goota get ALice and Bella in the right mood to progress (:**

**Review for brownie points! Thanks for getting me to over 40 reviews! When I hit 50 or more, I'll start writing chapter five.**

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	5. Chapter 5

**Trapped**

**Five**

Specialties. I have many of them.

At the age of 8, I was considered a child prodigy of fashion, but lack of exposure in Forks and lack of parental support relinquished me to become yet another want to-be fashion designer.

Even then, I had potential to become one of the greatest. Age only allowed me to cultivate my talent and learn modesty.

I was a friendly person. Making and keeping friends was a specialty of mine. Over the years, I had found that the town of Forks loved me for my constant happy-go-lucky mood. When I had met Victoria, I tried to befriend her, but she refused to let me. After years of trying and failing to get her to warm up to me, I finally accepted that she was a lost cause.

When I was younger, I had a knack for predicting the future. If I knew someone well enough, I could predict the consequences of their decisions, for example, when we were kids, Emmett used to be even more reckless than he is now. I'm not saying it wasn't fun, just that he could have been a little more careful.

Once, he decided that he was going to slide down the stair railing and catapult himself onto the couch that used to be against the wall near the stairs. I looked over his route and had a gut feeling that he was going to break the vase beside the couch but when I told him, he rolled his eyes and hopped onto the railing. That was how he ended up with three stitches and a thin scar along his left forearm.

After that day, Emmett didn't doubt me again.

Drama was a passion of mine, next to fashion. And by drama, of course, I mean acting. Ever since high school started, I'd been in multiple plays and musicals. I always joined the afterschool drama program, and I definitely looked forward to joining it again this year.

My freshman year in high school came jam-packed with tons of boredom. That was the year Emmett met Rosalie. Being home alone while he was out "getting to know" the beautiful young woman I now call my sister, drove me to scavenge the attic. That was when I discovered another of my specialties.

Sewing. I found an automatic sewing machine and brought it down to my room. There I stayed for hours upon hours teaching myself with television, library books, common sense and a little bit of Google, how to sew. It didn't surprise me with my background in fashion design that I rather enjoyed sewing. And it didn't surprise me that I was good at it, too.

Understanding people's emotions wasn't too hard for me, either. Predicting them came almost as easily. Being single for most of my life, I became content with observing others, how they acted, how they interacted with the world around them. It fascinated me. But now, I was having difficulties.

I had prided myself on generally understanding society…people. I was satisfied with being accepted by them and knowing when and how to approach them, but now, I was getting mixed signals from the one person I actually wanted to understand.

Bella Swan.

I hadn't spoken to her again since the day I met her and that was about six weeks ago. Sure, she'd catch my eye in the hallway and give me a subtle, two-fingered wave and on a good day a nod, but that was it.

I was thrilled to find that I had lunch with her, though I shouldn't have been. I was lucky enough to have the most popular lunch period and of course they'd put the new kid in it. Our school wanted everyone to feel "wanted" and "at home". I rolled my eyes when I heard that one the first time.

When I saw her walk into the cafeteria, I smiled widely and waved at her. She saw me and smiled before turning in the other direction and taking a seat at an almost empty table in the corner.

I haven't waved her over since then.

That didn't stop me from watching her. My seat between Emmett and Edward gave me a perfect view of her table.

She always sat with three boys – Jacob Black, Seth Clearwater and Brandon Platt. I was surprised when I saw that. They were the most isolated group of friends in this school. I'd heard Jacob mutter about "pale-faces" in one of the classes we had together and it was then that I predicted him to be a rather racist Native American. Seeing him and his friends accepting Bella Swan, clearly a white person, so easily was shocking. Who knows, maybe we were the racist ones instead of him.

Every day, Bella wore her long dark hair in a tight pony-tail, with her sunglasses over her eyes. It annoyed the hell out of me that I couldn't reach over and pull them from her face. Her eyes were too beautiful to hide.

Sometimes, I would catch Bella looking at me. When I looked at her and raised an eyebrow, she'd look away, unashamed. Her confidence was what made her irresistibly sexy in my eyes. Not to mention, her perfectly shaped body.

I took it upon myself to observe Bella anytime I could. No, I wasn't stalking her, simply watching whenever she was near me. I watched how she regarded the people around her. If they weren't Jacob, Seth or Brandon, she would watch them cautiously, shifting subtly every time they made a move to get closer to her.

I watched once as a senior girl approached her lunch table and tried to talk to Seth, who I know to be a sophomore. Bella frowned and said something to the girl that she must not have liked. The girl huffed and walked away. I found myself frowning when I wondered if Bella wanted Seth for herself.

I smiled when I noticed that she didn't. One day, Jane walked over to their table and tried engaging in conversation with Seth. I was waiting for Bella to whisper in her ear and make her run away, but she didn't. She slid her chair over and let Jane flirt with Seth.

It was then that I realized what was going on.

I was extremely attracted to a woman.

I was a lesbian.

I tried to avoid Bella then, and realized that it didn't matter because she didn't care. At least that was what I though.

Every day in English, Victoria would walk by my desk on her way to and from her seat. She'd look down and glare at me. When she caught on to the fact that Bella wasn't doing anything about it, she became bolder. She'd brush her fake nails across my desk as she passed, or linger ominously for a second longer than she should have. After a while, she became more confident. I noticed when she did.

She walked through the door as I took my seat and her glare immediately settled on me. She smirked and walked slowly towards me, dragging out her steps for effect. I rolled my eyes at her and turned to my unopened notebook.

She finally made it to my desk and clamped her hand down on my frail shoulder. I winced in pain as she squeezed. She leaned down and whispered in my ear, "No one's here to help you now."

When I looked up again, she smirked at me and shoved my shoulder hard, sending me flying out of my seat.

I expected to collide with the floor, or rather, Bella's empty desk beside me, but I didn't.

Strong arms wrapped around me and I was lifted to my feet. I looked up to find myself wrapped up in Bella and smiled, but she didn't see me. She was too busy glaring at Victoria. As I stared up at her face, she looked down at me and her expression softened.

"You okay?" she asked and I smiled at the sound of her voice. I suddenly felt stupid for avoiding her and I vowed to just let whatever happened, happen.

I nodded shyly and she smiled at me, her hazel eyes staring into my brown ones made me feel like I was the only person on Earth. She removed her arms from around my waist to take her seat and I noticed just how much I liked them there.

Since then, Bella always procrastinated getting to and from her seat in English. She'd get to class before me and linger by my desk – talking to Brandon whom I realized sat behind me – and take her seat after Victoria had passed.

At the end of class, she'd make a point to slowly gather her things, leaving only after Victoria had passed me and ducked out of the classroom. It could have been a coincidence that she took so long to leave, but she carried one binder and one pen. It made me smile to know that she was protecting me.

I'd finally had enough when I watched Bella take her seat beside me after Victoria passed my desk.

She smiled at me before opening her binder and effectively preparing to ignore me for the rest of the period.

I watched as Heidi Dea sauntered up to her and took a seat on the edge of Bella's desk. She leaned in and whispered in Bella's ear before smiling what I'm sure she thought was seductively. It made me sick.

She reached out to run her fingers across Bella's exposed arm. Bella looked at her hand then up at Heidi before smirking and leaning back in her seat. She opened her mouth to speak and I made a point to eavesdrop.

"Oh, really?" Bella said in a sexy, phone sex tone, dripping with confidence.

"Mhm" Heidi purred, nodding and rubbing Bella's arm sensually. I wanted to rip her hair out.

"Where exactly would this happen?" Bella asked. I could hear the amusement in her voice.

"Oh, I don't know… my house? My bed? Your car?" Heidi offered, her tone dropping lower with each suggestion. I tried not to gag and instead listened carefully for Bella's reply.

Bella chuckled lowly and the sound alone ran a shiver down my spine. "I don't think so, Heidi. I'm pretty busy", she said.

"Aw, well that's a shame" Heidi cooed. "Maybe next time?"

Bella shrugged. "We'll see."

With that Heidi, hopped off of Bella's desk and walked away, leaving me holding back a grin. If Bella was into girls, then maybe I had a chance.

I wanted a chance. I just haven't made my move yet. That was going to change today, though.

I jumped out of Jasper's car and walked around to his side to find him ogling an all black Chevrolet Avalanche.

"Look at this baby" he murmured more to himself than to me. "I've wanted this thing since it came out" he said, staring at it wide eyed. His hands twitched at his side as he tried not to reach out and touch it.

"I wonder how long the owner had it" Jasper said, turning to look at me. "And maybe if he'd let me take it for a spin." I shrugged and smiled at the excited look in his bright blue eyes.

"Like what you see, Jasper?" an angel's voice came from behind me. Jasper looked over my shoulder and grinned. I turned around to see Bella leaning against Jasper's dream truck. She gazed at me for a long time before turning her eyes to Jasper. I smiled because for once, they weren't covered by her shades.

"Don't tell me this is yours?" Jasper said incredulously. Bella smirked and nodded.

"What, girls can't drive big trucks?"

Jasper smirked right back at her. "Nope."

Bella rolled her eyes and pushed off of her car to walk towards him. "Don't forget who beat you in sports" she said, her hand brushing against the back of mine as she reached for Jasper. He held up a fisted hand as the two bumped knuckles. I was surprised to see that they were almost the same height.

"And to answer your questions," Bella started. "I've had this bad boy for around two years," she turned to smirk at Jasper, "and there's no way in hell you're driving him anywhere."

"Not even ten feet?" Jasper pleaded.

"Not even a centimeter" Bella deadpanned. Jasper sighed and I laughed at his defeated expression. He perked up when Maria came running up to his side and I scowled as I watched the two of them walk away hand in hand.

"What?" I said when I looked up to find Bella staring at me.

"You like him?" she asked. I could see a hint of sadness in her eyes. I quickly tried to remove it.

"No!" I said too quickly. I could see she doubted me. "He's like my brother. It's the girl I don't like. He could do so much better" I said honestly.

"And by better…you mean you?" Bella asked as we started walking towards the building.

"No. Trust me, Jasper's not my type." She held the door open for me and inspected my face as I walked past her. The smile settling on her lips told me she found what she was looking for.

"So what exactly is your type then, Alice?" she asked as I subconsciously led her to my locker. I didn't want to tell her that I thought I might be gay and extremely attracted to her. That might scare her away and ruin any chances of being with her.

Whoa. Liking girls was going to take some getting used to.

"Um…well I can't tell you that" I said as I reached for my lock. I placed my bag on the floor at my feet but Bella picked it up and held it for me. I smiled to myself.

"And why not?", she asked. She was asking a lot of questions, but I didn't mind. After avoiding her for over a month, I wanted to talk to her again. I wanted to get to know her and understand myself in the process. Her asking all of these questions made me feel like she wanted the same. I entertained the idea.

"Because you might just run away and I just met you. I don't want to scare you off just yet."

Bella laughed quietly as I closed and locked my locker.

"I don't scare easily. Try me" she challenged but I shook my head and snatched my bag from her as she led me to her locker nearly on the other end of the school. Not many people came to this hallway and I felt bad that she had a locker in a relatively isolated part of the school, but I had a feeling that she didn't mind it. I had a feeling that she liked to be alone.

"Okay" she said as she opened her locker. I wasn't surprised to find it empty. "I'm just going to have to guess." I shrugged and watched her unzip her black jacket, hanging it in the hollow metal box.

I shook my head at every one of her guesses, laughing at a few.

"Tall boys, mysterious boys, geeky boys, shallow boys, jock boys, creep boys, stalker boys, pretty boys, ugly boys, ripped boys, scrawny boys, skinny boys, fat boys, emo boys, funny boys, Asian boys, Black boys, happy boys, sad boys, bad boys, troubled boys, good boys, Native American boys, white boys…" her list went on and I found myself standing outside of my first period class.

"You don't like any of them?" Bella asked, her tone more hopeful than incredulous. I shook my head and she chuckled. "Then what do you like?"

I looked into her hazel eyes solemnly and shrugged. "I don't know for sure what I like…" I said honestly. In my head, I finished, _I'm just trying to figure out why I like you._

Bella nodded and smiled at me, that hope never leaving her dancing hazel eyes. I smiled back before turning and walking into my class.

**A/N: Okay! So this is my longest chapter yet. I've got a challenge for you!**

**The first person to answer this "Trapped" question correctly gets an extra brownie point!(Note: If you do not accept PM's you cannot receive brownie points.)  
**

**Are you ready? Cuz darlin, I'm bout to explode with excitement!**

**Okay...**

**Question: **_Why did I give Heidi the last name "Dea"? _**  
**

**I've already started writing the next chapter so there's no specific review goal. Still, give a southern belle some reviews (:  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**Trapped**

**Six**

Bella didn't sit with me at lunch, no surprise, but she did come over to say hi. I smiled when I saw her swaggering up to my table.

"Swanie!" Emmett boomed, loudly.

"Hey, what's up?" Bella said, bumping fists with him and Jasper as she stood behind me. I could feel her fingers playing at the back of my chair, brushing against my back every now and then. It drove me wild.

"Jasper's been going on about your truck since I saw him" Emmett chuckled. "When are you going to take us for a ride?" Bella shrugged nonchalantly.

"The day after never" she said with a straight face, holding out her pinky. "I pinky swear."

Emmett tried to deafen me with his loud guffaws, but thankfully, Rosalie slapped him upside the head, finally shutting him up.

"You must be Rosalie" Bella smirked, reaching around me to shake her hand. I breathed in her unique scent, something well balanced between femininity and masculinity. It fit her perfectly. "McCarty talks about you nonstop in Earth Science" she smiled and winked and I wondered briefly if Rosalie was gay. She seemed to swoon at her words but I quickly brushed it off, noting how beautiful and charming Bella was. She'd be crazy not to swoon. That girl could charm the devil into doing anything she wanted with that sexy smile and that perfect, hazel-eyed wink.

"Hey, no sweet talking my girl" Emmett laughed and I realized that I wasn't the only one who noticed. Rosalie's cheeks turned a slight pink shade as she got caught swooning over a female and Bella laughed, stretching to her full height.

"Sorry, I couldn't help myself. You did good" Bella said, appreciatively. I suddenly became very jealous of Rosalie. It didn't last long though, because soon, Bella was playfully drumming her long fingers against my shoulders.

Bella turned her gaze to the rest of the table and stretched her hand out to Maria. "Don't you dare charm my girl" Jasper threatened, trying to hide his smile. Bella just chuckled and rolled her eyes.

"I'm Bella" she said, taking Maria's hand into hers. Maria giggled like an idiot and squeezed Bella's hand. I was pleased when Bella didn't try to charm her after that. I laughed when she leaned down and asked me quietly if Maria was mentally all there.

The six of us were having an easy conversation about school and our origins when Edward and Tanya showed up. I noticed how Bella flinched at every question about her past and her family but smiled and answered robotically, as if she'd practiced and spat her answers multiple times before.

I introduced Bella to Tanya and let out a breath of relief when Bella simply shook her hand and didn't try to charm her. I was pleased when I realized Bella wasn't actually interested in Rosalie and was just trying to be nice. I hoped more than anything that I was the reason she stayed at our table for so long.

Edward caused a problem, as always.

I introduced the two and he sat down beside me, glancing at her more than I liked. When Tanya ran off to the bathroom with Maria, his glancing turned to staring.

"Can I help you?" Bella asked, annoyed. He smirked.

"I was just wondering what it would take to get you in my bed." Bella raised an eyebrow at him incredulously before turning to look at Emmett. The two held a silent conversation and I watched as Emmett grimaced and shook his head. Bella smiled and looked at him again.

"It would take quite a bit" she said. I heard Jasper chuckle.

I looked at Rosalie, asking with my eyes what was going on but she shrugged.

I watched her eyes widen as Emmett leaned in and whispered an explanation. Realization dawned on her face and she quickly burst out laughing.

"What exactly would it take?"Edward purred, oblivious to the interaction around him. Bella smirked devilishly and I felt something shift inside of me. I had no idea what it was.

"A sex change" she said simply, honestly, and my eyes widened. Emmett and Jasper joined Rosalie in her laughter and I grinned happily. Bella liked girls.

I had a chance.

Edward's eyes widened exponentially and he stared down at his tray of lunch in embarrassment. Bella looked away from him and smiled down at me. My eyes were hopeful and I'm quite sure she saw that. She left to join her friends a moment later.

"Why didn't anybody tell me she was gay?" Edward hissed when Bella was out of hearing distance.

"Well at first I forgot, but then I wanted to see you make a fool out of yourself" Emmett chuckled.

"How do you forget something like a beautiful, highly attractive woman being a _lesbian_?" Edward spat and I suddenly realized that I wasn't sure how my friends would react if I told them I liked girls…specifically Bella.

I turned to wait for Emmett's response. He shrugged and swallowed a bite of his sandwich.

"It didn't really matter. I mean, I suspected it. For one, look at how she dresses and she's turned down every boy's advances." Jasper nodded and continued after Emmett.

"Yea, that girl is seriously butch and she didn't try to rip my pants off when I met her. So I asked her if she liked girls a couple of weeks ago in gym and she got all defensive, like 'Yea, you got a problem with that?'" he chuckled, "I thought it was cute how protective she got."

I was relieved when I noticed that my brothers didn't mind gay people. I turned to Rosalie, waiting for her input.

"I guess we should have known" she said, not particularly disgusted but not intrigued either. "She's pretty. I wonder who she likes" she said. I rolled my eyes, already she wanted to gossip about the new girl.

I found Bella sitting in my seat talking to Brandon when I walked into English. I placed my bag on the desk and stood beside her. Bella looked up at me and smiled. She made to introduce me to her friend but I smiled at him before she could.

"Hi, Brandon" I said kindly.

"You – you know my name?" he whispered as if my knowing him would somehow cause a natural disaster.

"Yes…" I said, nodding slowly. "We've had some of the same classes since freshman year."

Brandon's eyes widened as Victoria passed by us. "I didn't know you noticed me."

I frowned and noticed Bella doing the same as she stood to give me my seat. "Remind me to talk to him more often" I mumbled in her ear, well…based on my height I mumbled to her chest. Bella chuckled and nodded before taking her seat.

Sometime near the end of class, Principal Cope decided to give me a reason to talk to Bella, and for that I was grateful.

"Attention students and staff members" she spoke in her raspy, aged voice. "Please note that auditions and sign-up will be held today for the afterschool Drama, tutoring and Indoor Sports programs. The rooms to report to afterschool will be posted outside of the main office. Also, the results for the football, softball, basketball and volleyball teams will be posted outside of the main office. All afterschool programs will begin next week, Monday. Please excuse this interruption and have a wonderful weekend."

I turned to look at Bella who seemed mildly interested in the news. I didn't peg her as the afterschool type. I was going to comment on that but she shocked me, yet again, and leaned in to whisper in my ear.

"You do this kind of thing?" she asked.

"You mean the afterschool programs?" She nodded.

"Yea, every year I'm in Drama. How about you, did you do this kind of thing in Arizona?"

I watched her flinch and pull away from me. "No" she said flatly. I wanted to ask why but I had a feeling whatever she said to me would be a lie.

I wanted to know the truth. I'd rather wait for the truth.

"You should try it" I offered after a while. She turned to look at me reluctantly and I continued.

"Jasper told us about how you beat him in basketball. You could join Indoor Sports since it's too late to try out for a team." I watched her as she thought about it. "Or you could join Drama with me…" I said boldly.

Her gazed snapped back to my face and she smiled brightly before frowning. "How much time do I have to give up?" I did an internal happy dance. She seemed to want to spent time with me.

"It's only an hour and a half after school on Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays. And you won't even have to audition. I can get Ms. Attore to take you easily." Bella chuckled and shook her head.

"Oh no, if I sign up, it's going to be to work the lights or something. I'm not getting anywhere near that stage." She laughed.

"Oh, why? Are you shy?" I mocked playfully. She rolled her eyes at me.

"No, I just don't do the whole front-and-center thing. I'm just joining to be with you" she said nonchalantly, writing in her binder. I sobered instantly. Dear God, how I hoped she meant that.

"Okay" I said with a tiny smile, suddenly feeling very shy but happy. Bella looked up and noticed the change in my mood. She smiled back at me before focusing on Mr. Banner.

The next time I saw her, she was standing by the main office, leaning against the wall a safe distance away from the threatening crowd of students. She held her car keys in her hand and stared down at it as she twirled it around her index finger.

She looked sexy.

I walked up to her quietly, smiling at how my silver flats looked in front of her all black Chuck Taylors.

"Nice shoes" she smirked, looking up at me. I couldn't see her eyes, though.

"So have you made up your mind?" I asked, ignoring the annoying sunglasses.

"I thought you made it for me" she chuckled. I couldn't deny that I pretty much told her I'd get her into Drama one way or another. Instead, I smiled and grabbed her hand, dragging her to the auditorium where Ms. Attore was seated with three other staff members.

Mr. Gioco was the writer of the group. He wrote our lines and sometimes even wrote the songs we sang in original musicals and plays. He was a wonderful man and he helped me to get situated during my freshman year.

Ms. Danza was the choreographer. Her dance routines were top notch and I often found myself wondering why she was working in Forks, Washington instead of Broadway or Hollywood.

Ms. Udienza was the last person in the row and she was in charge of the music for our plays and musicals. She wrote amazing pieces and worked closely with Ms. Danza to make our performances look professional.

Yes, when it came to performances, these four amazingly talented people took their work very seriously.

"Ms. Attore!" I called. She turned around and smiled at me.

"Alice!" she squealed as the other three teachers grinned. "We were waiting for you. What took you so long?"

I smiled and walked onto the stage, Bella trailing behind me. "I had to convince Bella to come with me" I said, careful not to call Bella my friend. I wanted to be more than friends. I think Bella noticed, too.

"Oh, really?" Ms. Attore said, shifting her gaze from me to Bella. "Well dear, do you have any music for an audition?"

"No ma'am, I'm not here to audition" Bella said. I watched Ms. Attore's brows furrow in confusion when Bella continued.

"I'm here to volunteer. Fix some lights, adjust some microphones, become a stage hand", she explained. "I have no intention of being on stage. I simply want to make your actors look better and spend time with Alice in the process" she said smoothly. Even I was shocked by her mini-speech. I looked at an impressed Ms. Attore and knew I'd have Bella in Drama with me.

"Well, thank you both" she said. "Don't be late on Monday" she said, adding mine and Bella's name to her list.

"Doesn't Alice have to try out?" Bella asked, confused. Apparently she didn't catch on that when I said I could get her in easily, it went for me as well.

"Oh no" Ms. Danza laughed. "Having Alice audition is a waste of precious time. We already know we'll unanimously accept her." Bella glanced at me with and impressed expression on her face.

"Well, okay then." She said with a smile. "Thank you for your time."

They laughed and thanked us as I pulled Bella off the stage and into the hallway. It was only then that I released her hand.

"That was easy" she said, glancing sadly at her now empty hand. I nodded and giggled and she didn't look so sad anymore.

"I told you" I replied as we walked to the parking lot. I wasn't surprised to see that Emmett's Jeep was nowhere in sight. I was surprised, however, to find that Jasper had also made his escape.

I started to wonder how I was getting home when Tyler Crowley ambushed me as I walked beside Bella.

We came to a stop before Bella's car when he spoke.

"Hey, Alice! Bella…"

"Crowley" Bella muttered her greeting, leaning against the front of her rather large truck.

"So Alice, did you join Drama this year again?"

"Yea" I nodded. "Bella joined, too."

He glanced at Bella, not caring at all, before he turned his attention back to me.

"Cool" he said. "I just auditioned so I'm hoping they accept me." _Shit_, I thought to myself. I saw Bella smirking from the corner of my eye and I noticed that my lips were turned into a grimace.

"So, since I'm not doing anything tonight, I was wondering if you'd like to catch a movie with me? Jasper left earlier with Maria, so I could give you a ride home." He glanced at Bella. "I could give you a ride too, if you need one."

Bella stared at him like he was stupid before sarcastically saying, "Oh yes, I'd love for you to give me a ride because obviously I'm leaning against a stranger's 2007 Chevrolet Avalanche." I stifled a giggle and stared at my feet, trying to ignore her dramatically pointing to her truck.

Tyler frowned and looked at me again as Bella returned to her nonchalant position. "So how about that movie?"

I looked around myself nervously and glanced at Bella, silently asking her to help me. She smiled at me before speaking up.

"Sorry Crowley, we're going to see a movie tonight" Bella said. "Right now, actually." I smiled gratefully at her.

"Well I can still give you a ride" Tyler said, glancing at Bella with an annoyed expression.

I was going to politely decline when Bella spoke up again.

"And that makes sense" she said, rolling her eyes. "For me to be standing in front of my car that has more than enough room for pretty little Alice here, when I know that I'm about to take her to a movie, but still let you give her a ride home. Why? So I can follow you to her house and pick her up there? I don't know about you, but I don't like wasting gas and this bad boy takes a lot of it." Bella said in exasperation and I could tell that she was as annoyed with Tyler as he was with her.

He made to say something else and I silently begged him not to further humiliate himself. Luckily, he closed his mouth and walked away.

"Thanks" I said turning to Bella with a smile. "That was harsh" I frowned, "But thanks."

Bella shrugged and I suddenly remembered her calling me pretty. Bella stepped away from her car and unlocked it, walking toward the passenger side. I stared at her confused when she opened the door and looked at me.

"You coming?" she asked, an eyebrow raised high above her shades. I smiled and walked quickly towards her. I gulped at how tall her truck was and let her grab my hand, helping me into my seat.

"Comfy?" She asked with a sexy smirk.

"Very" I replied, wiggling in the leather seat. She chuckled and closed my door gently before walking around to her side and getting in effortlessly.

"I thought you said you'd never take one of us for a ride in your car?" I asked as Bella buckled her seat belt and started the car. She shrugged and looked at me solemnly.

"You're the only exception."

**A/N: Thanks for all of the reviews! I'm glad you guys are liking my story. **

**So the winner of my "Trapped" challenge is... **

IamAbotticelli

**To the question "**_Why did I give Heidi the last name 'Dea'?", _**they answered that "Dea" is Latin for Goddess, and they were correct. Heidi represents a figure of immense beauty.  
**

**Fun Fact: "Dea" is also Italian for Goddess. I'm sure you might find the Drama staff members' names to be Italian for their jobs as well.  
**

**Review and tell me what you think of sarcastic Bella for brownie points!  
**


	7. Chapter 7

**Trapped**

**Seven**

She can't do that!

She can't just say things that make my heart swell and my body tingle. She can't just do those things to me and then pretend like it never happened.

"_You're the only exception" _she said, leaving me to gape at her speechlessly as she pulled out of the parking lot. I huffed in frustration and looked out the window.

Bella Swan was doing things to me, things I had no control over…things I liked. I wanted to make a move, I had to, there was nothing stopping me…I just had no idea how.

I knew for sure Bella was a lesbian and she was proud of it. I guessed by her subtle complements and unusual interest in me that she might be attracted to me. I hoped that I wouldn't screw this up.

When Bella pulled onto the highway, I got confused.

"Where are we going?" I asked cautiously.

Bella glanced at me. "You thought I was lying when I said we were going to the movies?"

My eyes widened and I nodded my head. _She was serious?_

Bella smirked at me and shook her head. Suddenly she became extra focused on the road in front of her.

"I won't lie to you, Alice" she said. I watched the side of her face for a moment and realized that she wasn't just talking about the movies.

"I believe you" I said and decided to do something bold. I reached out and placed my hand on top of hers as she gripped the steering wheel. She stared at it for a while as we sat in traffic. When we started moving again, she flipped her hand over and threaded our fingers together. I pulled our hands into my lap and smiled.

Bella's hands were larger than mine, but they were still very feminine. Her slightly tanned skin was naturally darker than my ghostly pale complexion, and it stretched out across her narrow palm and long fingers.

"Do you play the piano?" I asked suddenly.

"Why?" she asked, raising an eyebrow but staring at the road.

I shrugged. "You have piano hands." Bella smirked.

"Yes, I played in Phoenix for a while." I noticed her use of the past tense.

"Don't you play anymore?" She shook her head.

"Well, why not?" I frowned, confused as to what could make her stop playing.

Bella glanced at me nervously, inspecting my face when we stopped in traffic, yet again. I wanted to see her eyes but I could tell this was already a touchy subject. I didn't want to push her. Bella sighed and ran her free hand through her hair, forgetting that she was wearing a pony-tail.

"I never wanted to play piano" she muttered. "And now that I don't have to, I will never touch a piano again."

I watched her for a moment longer before deciding to just let it go. "Okay" I nodded and squeezed her hand in mine. She smiled at me gratefully and kept driving the familiar route to Port Angeles.

Bella let go of my hand when we pulled into a parking lot, and ran around the car to open my door. I smiled when she reached for me.

"Why is your car so big?" I pouted, pretending to be annoyed, but she saw right through me.

"Why are you so small?" she grinned placing her hands on my hips as I gripped her shoulders and leaped from the car.

"Emmett says it's because I didn't eat my vegetables when I was little" I pouted walking beside her towards the movie theater. Bella threw her head back and for the first time, she laughed, wholeheartedly. It was beautiful.

"That's alright, I like your height. It's cute" she said before effectively pretending that she didn't.

"So what movie do you want to see?" Bella asked as we made it to the ticket booth.

"I can choose?" I asked incredulously. Usually Emmett or Jasper picked the movie. Her giving me an option was incredibly sweet in my eyes.

Bella looked down at me and nodded. "We can see anything you want to. The world is yours" she smirked, mocking me playfully. I was too excited to roll my eyes.

"Can we see Despicable Me?" I grinned, bouncing with anticipation. Bella lifted her glasses from her eyes and raised one of her perfect brows at me. Finally I could see her hazel eyes and they were bright with amusement matching the slight smile on her lips.

Bella turned to the employee in the ticket booth. "Two tickets for Despicable Me in 3D" she said and I squealed as quietly as possible. _3D was even better!_ The boy handed Bella our tickets and glasses in exchange for her money.

"Why are you so excited?" Bella asked as we walked into the theater.

"Why aren't you as excited as I am?" I countered, still bouncing and holding my 3D glasses in my hands.

"I don't know" she shrugged, "Because I'm normal?"

She laughed and moved away when slapped her arm. "Who took your childhood away?" I muttered but I couldn't stay angry for long when she laughed again.

"You want anything?" Bella asked, pointing to a little boy running with a bag of popcorn. I watched him run towards his mother and smiled before I frowned. My mother never did that for me. I wished more than anything to be that little boy only for a few seconds, to have my mother hold me and congratulate me on getting popcorn on my own.

I looked up to find Bella staring between me and the little boy curiously. "No, I'm fine" I smiled and walked ahead of Bella into our theater. The previews helped me to get to know Bella. I learned that she didn't mind cartoon movies and she even favored a few of the classics like Aladdin, Anastasia and the Little Mermaid.

"The Little Mermaid?" I laughed. "Bella Swan, you do not like the Little Mermaid!" She nodded.

"I do and I am not ashamed of it" she said, staring at the large screen defiantly.

"It's because of Ariel, isn't it?" I smirked. "You like redheads!" Bella snorted and rolled her eyes, trying desperately not to smile.

"No, for your information, I like brunettes" she said, glancing at my hair and smirking when I didn't have an immediate reply.

On some level, Bella reminded me of my brother. Her presence was extremely intimidating. She wasn't a body builder, but she had very defined muscles. She seemed to be tough and I had no doubt that she was. But she was letting her guard down with me and it showed me just how sweet she could be. She was a real teddy bear.

The lights dimmed and I wiggled in my seat, excited. Bella chuckled and put on her 3D glasses. Even behind the completely unfashionable device, she looked stunning. I reached out and grabbed her hand. She looked at it and smiled before shocking me yet again. She twisted her hand out of mine and lifted the armrest between us. I wasn't sure what she wanted me to do, and I smiled when she wrapped her arm around my shoulder, pulling me comfortably into her side.

I snuggled into her and with my head on her chest, we watched the movie.

"That movie was so adorable!" I squealed, bouncing out of the movie theater with excitement. Bella's arm still wrapped around my shoulder made me even giddier.

I started walking to the car but Bella pulled me into her side. "I'm hungry. Let's go eat." I nodded my agreement, the events of Despicable Me still running through my mind. Bella and I were seated at a table in a quaint restaurant in Port Angeles when she spoke to me again.

"Are you still thinking about that movie?" she asked, pushing her sunglasses onto her forehead.

I nodded honestly. "I've never seen you this excited before" she smiled. I was happy that my hyperactive behavior didn't bother her.

"Yea well, I get like this a lot. You haven't spent much time with me" I countered. When she frowned I quickly tried to pull my foot out of my mouth. "But then again, I'm much calmer around you."

She nodded and I watched a spark of happiness spread in her eyes, contrasting against her frown. "I'd like to spend time with you, Alice" she said.

"I'd like to spend time with you, too" I smiled. She smiled back as our waiter approached.

We both ordered lasagna and I found a kindred spirit in my love of pasta. During our meal I found that we had an easy conversation going. Sure, I would do most of the talking and ask most of the questions, but Bella listened to me with genuine interest.

By the time we got in the car to go home, I felt a little closer to Bella, but I wanted to know more. I was greedy for information. I wanted to understand Bella Swan and all the stories that came with her.

"Play a game with me, Bella" I said after telling her how to get to my house.

"What kind of game?" she asked cautiously.

"21 questions?" I offered hopefully. Bella snorted before looking at me.

"Oh, you're serious?" I rolled my eyes at her. "5 questions" she bargained and I sighed, if that's what she was giving, I'd gladly take it.

"Okay" I relented as we entered Forks. "What's your favorite color?" Bella smiled to herself.

"What do you think my favorite color is?"

"It's black, isn't it?" I muttered, shocked when she shook her head and chuckled.

"Orange" she said honestly. "You overestimate my predictability." I couldn't help but agree. If I'd learned anything, it was that Bella Swan was extremely unpredictable.

"Okay, number 2…How long have you lived in Phoenix?"

"All my life, up until I came here" she said honestly. I figured that she was being truthful enough so I emboldened my questions.

"Are you lesbian, Bella?" I asked seriously. I saw her tense momentarily and I knew she'd thrown up her defenses.

"Yes" was her monotonous response as she turned onto my gravel driveway. I smiled when she put the car in park and looked at me.

"Do you like me, Bella?" I said lowly, wondering if she'd heard me at all.

She cleared her throat and shifted in her seat. I grinned at her discomfort.

"Very much" she said and my grin was for another reason entirely. She looked up at me from under her lashes and smiled.

"I like you, too" I said. "Very much."

The silence that ensued was comfortable.

"You have one last question before I'm forced to kick you out of my truck" Bella teased. I smiled brightly before sobering up and staring at her. I reached for her hand and she let me hold it.

"Why don't you play the piano anymore?" I asked. Bella stared at me, searching my face, before shaking her head.

"I can't tell you that" she said. I began to protest but she cut me off. "I promise I'll tell you one day, Alice, but not now. Not today." I nodded and squeezed her hand before I opened the door and gracefully catapulted myself from Bella's monster sized vehicle. I could hear her chuckling behind me. I turned to glare at her and her laughter only increased.

"Do you know your way home?" I asked her as she laughed at me.

"I'm sure I can manage" she shrugged.

"Call me when you get home, Bella" I said giggling as her kind gaze turned confused.

"But I don't have your number."

"Don't be so clueless." I rolled my eyes as she continued to stare at me. "Give me your number, Bella" I sighed.

I smirked when realization dawned on her face and we exchanged numbers. "I'll see you Monday, okay?" Bella said as I handed back her phone and closed the passenger door. Bella watched me walk up to my house and drove off only after I'd closed and locked my door.

I still wasn't sure what was going on between me and Bella, but I knew that I wanted to be with her. I was confused and giddy all at once and I found myself excited for Monday to come and hating the weekend for keeping me away from her. I needed advice…now.

"Gah! Where is Rosalie?" I muttered to myself.

**A/n: Well, here's chapter seven. Wow, "Trapped" hit 100 reviews! **

_**They like me, they really like me! **_

**Well...we all know you're really here for Alice and Bella, but a girl can dream... **

**Thanks for bringing me to 100 reviews and just to celebrate, everyone who reviews chapter seven gets 2 brownie points instead of 1.  
**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/n:** Okay, so this author's note is at the beginning of the chapter because I didn't want to ruin the mood at the end.

Want brownie points? You know how to get 'em. **REVIEW!**...please (:

**Trapped**

**Eight**

"WHAT?" Rosalie screeched, causing Emmett and Jasper to jump and stare at her.

I grabbed her hands and quickly dragged her upstairs to my room. I locked the door while she went and sat on my bed.

"I know it's a lot to take in right now, but I can't help it. That's how I feel" I explained. Rosalie held up her hand to stop me.

"No, no, no…rewind, Alice. You're gay?" she asked. I nodded my head slowly, afraid of what she might say next.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she sighed. When I looked into her eyes I saw that she was more hurt than disgusted. I walked over and sat next to her on the bed.

"I didn't know" I said honestly. "I had no idea I was."

"So how'd you find out?" Rosalie asked, genuinely concerned for me.

"I…started having feelings…for a girl" I sighed. I watched as Rosalie nodded to herself. Suddenly her blue eyes lit up and she smirked at me.

"It's Bella!" she whispered. My eyes widened and I looked around myself automatically before nodding.

"She's pretty" Rosalie smirked and I glared at her. "Relax, I'm not trying anything."

We sat in silence for a moment and I started thinking about Emmett and Jasper. Being friends with a lesbian was one thing, but having one in your family was completely different. Would they take the news as calmly as Rosalie? Would they stop talking to me?

"Emmett told me about that" Rosalie said suddenly, pulling me from my thoughts.

"What are you talking about?" She looked at me closely.

"Emmett asked me once if you were gay. It was around the time when you'd been single for over a year no matter how many times I tried to set you up. We've been thinking about it ever since. We've even spoken to Jasper about it."

"What do they think now?" I asked nervously.

"They still wonder" she said. "I think they wonder more now that Bella's around." Rosalie wrapped her arm around my shoulder and hugged me close. "Don't worry about them, Alice. They love you and they think Bella's too cool for words" I chuckled when she rolled her eyes. "They're going to support you no matter what. We all are" she smiled and squeezed my shoulder.

"Thanks" I sighed. "But…I need some advice. I like Bella, and she likes me, but neither of us has made a move. I mean, I don't even know how to handle this!"

Rosalie laughed quietly and shook her head. "You handle it the same way you'd handle a boy you like. The only difference is Bella's a girl. A very pretty girl" she teased, "With long hair and nice eyes, and don't even get me started on that body…" she finally stopped teasing me when I slapped her thigh. She jumped up and grinned down at me before heading for the door.

"Rosie?" I called before she left. She turned to look at me. "Will you tell the boys for me?"

With a kind smile, Rosalie transformed from my sister to my protector, right before my very eyes. "Sure thing, honey. Now get some sleep."

And sleep I did.

Emmett and Jasper didn't bother me any more than usual that weekend. Other than Emmett prancing around the house shouting "I told you so" whenever Rosalie walked by, nobody seemed to mind that I liked girls. I was preparing for an awkward breakfast when I walked into the kitchen on Saturday morning, but that didn't happen.

Cat calls. Loud cat calls were what I received from Jasper and Emmett. I blushed and sat down in a stool beside Jasper. He immediately wrapped his arm around my shoulder and grinned at me.

"So _that's_ why you didn't want me when we met!" he laughed. I rolled my eyes at him.

"No! I didn't want you because you're not as good looking as you think you are!" I lied. He just kept on laughing.

"Aw, don't be embarrassed, lil sis!" Emmett barked through his laughter. "It's all good."

"So, you don't care that I want to be with Bella?" I asked shyly as Jasper removed his arm to eat his breakfast.

"Of course not!" Emmett said, looking hurt. "I'm just happy that you like _something_. I was starting to get worried there." When I giggled and grabbed a box of cereal, he continued.

"Besides" he said, watching me pour Cinnamon Toast Crunch into a bowl. "Bella's awesome. She's like the little sister I never had!" He grinned when I punched him in the stomach and reclaimed my seat beside Jasper.

"How about you?" I asked.

"How about me, what?" he asked through his bites of cereal. I frowned at his habit of talking with his mouth full. "Sorry" he mumbled and swallowed.

"How do you feel about me and Bella?"

He shrugged. "Who's the man in the relationship?" he chuckled and I effectively ignored him for the rest of breakfast.

The remainder of the weekend went by normally and on Monday morning, I found myself shaking with anticipation. Thankfully, Jasper didn't comment. He just chuckled and shook his head as he drove us to school.

As soon as we got into the parking lot, Rosalie flung my door open and pulled me out of the car. We walked into the school building and Rosalie gave me the pep-talk I so desperately needed.

"Just relax, Alice", "It's just Bella", "She likes you, too…" she tried to tell me over and over again. Sure, I listened but her comforting words didn't stop the butterflies that found their way into my stomach. I was finally able to stand still when I spotted Bella leaning against the locker beside mine. She didn't see me. She just twirled those car keys like she didn't have a care in the world. Rosalie watched the smile that spread across my lips and shook her head.

"Go get your girl" she whispered and nudged me forward. "I'll see you at lunch."

I pushed aside my nervousness and walked up to Bella. I didn't think she saw me when I stopped in front of her, but she spoke before I could.

"Good Morning, Alice" she said, smirking when I jumped. I frowned at her…she was wearing those damned shades.

"Hey, Bella" I sighed, staring at the offending accessory. I smiled brightly when she quickly pushed them up onto her forehead. She grabbed my bag as I reached for my lock.

"How was your weekend?" It was a lame question, but it proved that she was trying. Besides, I had a feeling that Bella didn't ask for something she didn't want an answer to.

"Um…pretty boring. All we did was sit at home and goof off" I shrugged, collecting the notebooks I would need for the day. "How about you?"

Bella stared at the ground with a slight smile on her lips and I knew she was remembering something. It seemed to be a good memory, so I let her remember.

"It was…nice" was all she offered, and I didn't press for more information. Usually I was stubborn and inpatient, but with Bella, I wanted to take my time, let her open up to me on her own and then reap the benefits of her trusting me.

Bella walked me to my first class, but the door wasn't even opened yet.

"So what's going on with us?" I asked. Bella didn't even flinch. She looked like she was expecting the question.

"What do you want to go on with us?" she asked, looking down at me.

"I don't know" I said honestly. "I've never liked a girl before you. I'm not sure how this works…"

Bella chuckled and looked at the wall across from us. "Alice, I'm just a girl. And I don't even act like it most of the time. You don't have to change anything for me." She glanced down at the skirt I was wearing and laughed again. "I'm already wearing the pants, let's keep it that way."

"Hey, now" I teased, poking her in the side. "You might wear the pants, but I make the rules."

Bella raised her eyebrows and smiled. "Yes ma'am."

I chuckled and hooked my pinky around hers. "I just want to know you Bella. I like being with you. I _want_ to be with you. Can we do that?" I asked, staring up at her hopefully.

"Are you sure you want to know me?" she asked, her brows furrowed and her eyes worried. I nodded.

"Past, present and future" I said. "I want to know everything. And I know you want to know me, too."

Bella shook her head sadly. "Don't you want to know me?" I asked, suddenly feeling stupid for being so bold. Maybe she was playing with me.

"Of course, I want to know you, Alice" she said. I sighed in relief before getting frustrated again.

"Then why is it okay for you to learn everything about me, but not the other way around?" Bella sighed and stared into my eyes. I watched her hazel eyes darken as she spoke.

"Because I know for sure I won't be afraid of what I find." I watched pain flutter in her eyes and I wasn't sure if she even knew it was there. I lifted my hand to cup her cheek and she automatically leaned into my touch, closing her eyes. When she opened them again, the pain was replaced with contentment.

"I won't run away from you, Bella." I said.

If only I knew then that it was a promise I couldn't keep, I could have spared us a great deal of heartache.


	9. Chapter 9

**Trapped**

**Nine**

Bella strolled up to my table at lunch and beamed her sexy smirk directly at me. She rested her hands on my shoulders without hesitation after greeting my friends.

"Do you guys mind if I have Alice for lunch?" she asked.

Rosalie raised an eyebrow and grinned. Emmett coughed obnoxiously and Jasper smirked at his lunch. _Gosh! They had such dirty minds! _I looked up to see Bella smirking as well and felt my insides shift again. I concluded that it was that smirk that constantly made my insides turn to mush.

"Oh, no" Rosalie said as I stood to leave with Bella. "Pease, take her." Then she winked at me.

"Where are we going?" I asked Bella as she guided me through the cafeteria, her hand on the small of my back.

"To sit with my friends" she said.

"You do know that we could have invited them to my table, right?" Bella nodded and shrugged.

"Yea, but I don't like Edward that much. He kind of creeps me out." I giggled and sat in the chair beside her.

"So, this is Jacob, Brandon, Seth and Jane" Bella said, looking at her friends. "Guys, this is Alice."

I half expected Jacob to ignore me entirely but he smiled a large, toothy grin in my direction. When he noticed my surprise he rolled his eyes.

"Relax, I don't bite" he said, extending a hand in my direction.

"Oh, I know" I said, shaking his hand politely. "It's just…I thought you didn't like us."

"Are you calling me racist?" Jacob asked and I got worried when he looked offended. I glanced at Bella so see her laughing silently.

"Relax, Alice. I don't mind you. You've never done anything to me. It's your douche bag friend Edward that doesn't like Native Americans, apparently."

I suddenly understood why Bella didn't invite them over to our table.

"Oh, forget about him. He still hasn't found whatever's lodged up his ass" I said and took a bite of my apple. When I looked up, Bella was staring at me with her eyebrows raised and an amused smirk on her lips.

"I like her!" Jacob barked suddenly, high-fiving Bella across the table. I giggled and linked my pinky around hers as we sat, talking and laughing with her friends.

The three of us walked to English together – Bella, Brandon and I – and I realized that Bella had a natural "protector" behavior. She walked behind me as I chatted with Brandon and sometimes, she placed her hand on my hip and moved me gently out of the way of something I didn't see. When I turned around to smile my thanks, I'd often catch her lost in her thoughts and realized that she wasn't even thinking about protecting me. It came as easy as breathing for her.

I didn't see Bella again after English, that was, of course, until Drama came around. I always came early to the auditorium to drop off my things or help out Ms. Attore. I was used to being the first one there, but today I wasn't. I knew who she was, the beautiful girl sitting in the front row of the auditorium. I could spot that pony-tail in a crowd of 300.

She sat on the edge of the seat, her hands folded and her elbows on her knees. Her glasses rested on her forehead as she stared – hard – at the black grand piano sitting before the stage. She didn't have her binder or her jacket and I guessed she had been to her locker before she came here.

I dropped my bag two chairs away and sat beside her.

"Hey, Bella" I said. She jumped and looked up at me before smiling.

"Alice" was her greeting, simple, but full of happiness. I reached for her hand and watched her stiff body relax.

"You're early" I said. She nodded.

"I had study hall…" she shrugged. "Got bored." I chuckled and rolled my eyes. We sat in silence for a while and she turned her gaze back to the piano.

"So, what kind of music do you like?" I asked, trying to get her mind off of whatever was bothering her. My genius plan backfired, of course.

"Piano music" she sighed. She looked at me, concerned when I started to giggle.

"You're one complicated person, Bella" I said once my amusement had disappeared. "Everything you say or do…there's a reason behind it, I can tell." Bella finally sat back in her seat and turned her full attention to me. I'd never admit it out loud, but I liked it when she looked at me like this. It meant that I was the only thing on her mind.

"The same goes for everyone, including you" she countered. I nodded.

"Yes, but your reasons are more complicated than mine." She stared at me expectantly, waiting for me to continue. "I like piano music because I think it sounds pretty" she smiled at me. "Why do you like piano music?"

"My father used to play it" she said quietly. I couldn't help but notice her use of the past tense again. This time it confused me. Charlie Swan was still very much alive. Was he the reason Bella stopped playing? I decided to change the subject.

"What about orange? Why is that your favorite color?" I asked.

A tiny smile lit up her face as she looked at our joint hands. "It was the color of my mother's hair."

I watched her for a moment. _How am I supposed to figure you out?_ I thought to myself.

"You see, Bella. My favorite color is red because it looks good on me. Your favorite color is orange because it was the color of your mother's hair" I explained, mimicking her strange use of the past tense.

"Okay, so maybe I am complicated" Bella relented with a shrug. "What does that mean?" she asked.

I smiled brightly as Ms. Attore entered the auditorium. "It just means that I'll have to work harder to understand you." Bella chuckled as I stood and skipped over to help Ms. Attore.

I was reviewing my script while Bella led me to her locker. Ms. Attore and the rest of the Drama staff had been working on this particular musical for a while now. I'd overheard them talking about it since I was a freshman and now, they'd finally decided to make it happen.

"We're doing…_Grease_!" Ms. Danza shouted excitedly. I'm sure Bella got quite the sight, watching a bunch of overexcited teenagers bouncing eagerly in their seats. Ms. Attore handed out scripts and told us to "Practice, practice, practice." We had three weeks off of Drama and were told to return on Friday of the last week to audition for our desired roles.

"So, Sandy", Bella teased me as she reached inside of her locker. She'd been calling me that since Ms. Attore asked if I was auditioning for the lead.

"Stop it, Bella" I mumbled, still reading over my lines. She chuckled and shrugged into her jacket before grabbing her binder and closing her locker. She leaned her shoulder against it and just watched me. Eventually she got tired of just watching me and snatched the script from my hands.

I wanted to be mad at her, but I was too impressed by the speed of her movements.

"Tell me about yourself, Alice" she said, holding the script over her head as I jumped for it. I finally gave up when she placed it inside her binder and looked at me.

"What do you want to know?" I sighed, pressing my back against the lockers behind me.

She shrugged. "Anything…everything…"

I nodded and ran through the events of my life before speaking.

"Well, I was born on August 14th. I'm 16 years old. I just recently turned into a lesbian. I have one other sibling whose girlfriend lives with us. My best friend's name is Jasper and he lives with me, too. My parents are never home. They care about their careers more than me and Em. My favorite color is red. My favorite food is lasagna. My favorite word is shopping. My favorite pastime is designing. Fashion design is one of my talents and I like sunflowers. I like gummy bears more than chocolate and my favorite ice cream flavor is Cookies N' Cream. I don't like cows. They're scary. I like the moon more than the sun, but I like the daytime more than nighttime. Still, I like to look at the stars. My favorite holiday is the Fourth of July because I like fireworks not because I'm overly patriotic. I like to talk. I like having friends and I want everybody to like me even though I know that's not possible. The simple things entertain me just as much as they bother me and I…" I trailed off when I glanced up to find Bella staring down at me, her hazel eyes smoldering, her pink lips smiling. You could almost _hear_ the mood changing.

"What?" I asked, suddenly self conscious of my rambling.

Bella shook her head slowly and placed her binder on the floor. She stretched to her full height and moved to stand in front of me, her hands on the lockers at either side of my head. She looked down and her smoldering gaze traced every curve of my face.

"I'd very much like to kiss you now, Alice" she whispered. I couldn't speak, I only nodded. I very much wanted to kiss her, too.

Bella moved her face closer to mine at an incredibly slow pace, turning seconds into hours. She was a breath away when she stopped moving. Her eyes flashed up to mine, searching for permission. A moment later, her lips were on mine. They were soft and full and they tasted like heaven. The kiss was sweet and like none other before, but all too soon, she pulled away.

My arms started moving on their own. My hands found the edge of her jacket and pulled her close, pressing her body against mine as I found her lips again. Her hands lowered to my hips and I wrapped my arms around her neck, holding her to me.

This kiss was different. It was full of fire and…passion. I'd never felt passion before. It felt good.

Bella trailed her warm tongue along my bottom lip and I opened myself to her, moaning slightly as her tongue found mine and her fingers dug into my hips, holding me tighter to her firm body.

We pulled away, what felt like hours later, and Bella rested her forehead against mine, both of us quietly panting.

A lazy grin spread across Bella's face and I giggled.

"Wow…" Bella breathed wrapping her arms around my waist and pulling me closer.

I laughed lightly. "Wow" I agreed.

**A/n: **

**(: Don't forget to review! **

**~ Karma.  
**


	10. Chapter 10

"_Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try."_

**Trapped**

**Ten**

A lot can happen in one month.

In a matter of one week, Bella and I had fallen into an easy routine.

I'd walk into school excitedly and find her standing by my locker. I'd gather my things and she would walk me to first period. I wouldn't see her again until lunch where we alternated tables. Some days, I'd pull up a chair and make her sit with me. Other days, she'd all but throw me over her shoulder and carry me over to her table. After lunch, we'd walk to English together where she'd still guard my desk until Victoria passed.

After English, I wouldn't see Bella again until after school when she'd find me by my locker. She'd give me a ride home and at first, I had to persuade her to come inside, but now, it's a given. Having Bella come home with me gave me an excuse to spend more time with her and learn more of her little habits. I also learned that Bella could cook.

She wandered into the kitchen after she'd finished her homework and I was studying my lines. After opening the fridge and staring into its vast emptiness, she walked back into the living room and frowned.

"Where's your food?" she asked, confused. I didn't blame her. It was hard to imagine four healthy teenagers surviving without food, especially if you've seen how Jasper and Emmett eat.

After a short conversation about Jasper and Emmet only knowing how to barbecue, Bella shook her head and had to sweet talk the script out of my hands long enough for us to go grocery shopping. When I asked how we would pay for the groceries, Bella told me that she had a part time job in Seattle on Saturday mornings, but she refused to tell me what she did.

That night, Bella made us dinner to last for a week. Since then, me and Rose had been helping her make us dinner every Monday night.

By the second week, Bella had finally warmed up entirely to my family and I'd warmed up to her friends. It turned out that they weren't racist at all and a few insensitive jerks told them to go back to their reservation, where they belonged. I fumed when I heard that Edward was one of them. In turn, Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie treated Bella as family while Seth, Jacob, Brandon and Jane accepted me into their close-knit group.

Sometime, during the second week, Bella convinced her friends to join my table and my family was nothing but friendly towards them. For that, I was grateful. I did, however, catch Maria trying to get a little too friendly with Brandon while Jasper was absorbed into a football conversation with Bella, Jacob and Emmett. I glared at her, but the airhead was oblivious.

Edward had eventually gotten tired of "sitting with the Indians", I heard him mutter, and tried to leave with Tanya, but she said she wasn't going anywhere. Jacob was a natural comedian and he kept us all entertained. Tanya told Edward that she wasn't going to give up a potential friendship just because Edward chose to be rude and ignorant. Edward huffed and walked away. He still sat with us at lunch, but he refused to speak to Jacob, Seth or Brandon.

The third week was when I starting noticing changes in Bella behavior. When Bella was at my house, her sunglasses were nowhere near her face. She'd take them off and drop them on the coffee table as we chatted and did our homework and sometimes, made out. She'd often let her hair down when it was just the two of us, also. The first time I saw her reach back and pull her hair free of its confinement, I gasped. I could tell by the length of her pony-tail that her hair was long, but seeing it fall over her shoulders and cascade down her back was completely different. She was even more beautiful with her hair down. To everybody else, these little actions might seem like nothing, but I knew they meant she trusted me.

Bella Swan was by no means an affectionate person. Besides the occasional fist bump, high five, arm around the shoulder or pat on the back, Bella made no form of physical contact with anyone except for me, and people noticed.

At first, the only times Bella touched me was when I linked my pinky with hers or when she was kissing me. I could tell by the way she moved around me that there were moments when she wanted to touch me, but she was unsure of something. What exactly she was uncertain of, I didn't find out until much later.

As the days passed, I realized that I no longer had to reach out for Bella, and that she was reaching for me. She was always reaching, trying to get closer to me and I could see in her eyes that the closer she was to me, the happier she was. Unfortunately, I wasn't the only one that noticed, and that was when the whispers started. I didn't care, though, because nobody approached me about it or treated me differently. For now, it was just about me and Bella.

On Friday of the third week, I walked into the auditorium prepared to audition. I didn't want to be an understudy so I chose to audition for both Sandy _and_ Rizzo.

Nervous beyond belief, I walked onto the stage with shifting eyes. When the spotlight shone directly onto me, I looked up to find Bella in the booth above the auditorium, giving me two thumbs up. I smiled and looked to my right to find a dark haired boy named Garrett standing next to me. Apparently, he was auditioning for Danny Zuko – I hoped he made it. He looked perfect for the part.

By the time I was called again to audition for Betty Rizzo, I'd fallen into an effortless groove. When I saw who was auditioning for Kenickie, I could literally feel Victoria's glare on my face. I ignored her and smiled brightly at my long time friend and ex-boyfriend.

"James" I grinned.

"That's Kenickie, to you, Rizzo" he smiled, running his fingers through his hair as only Kenickie could.

At the start of the fourth week, I dragged Bella down to the main office with me where the _Grease _casting list would be posted. She waited a safe distance away as I fought my way through the crowd. When I'd elbowed and shoved my way to the front, I quickly scanned down the list.

_**Grease Is the Word – Cast:**_

_Sandy Olsson – Jane Alec_

_Danny Zuko – Garrett Viaggiatore _

_Kenickie – James il Seguace _

_Betty Rizzo – Alice McCarty_

_Frenchy – Victoria Diablo_

I stopped reading after that, my excitement taking over. Suddenly I was being lifted into the air and spun around in strong arms. I squealed in happiness, but I knew those arms didn't belong to my Bella.

Victoria glared at me as James placed me back on my feet to give me one final hug. I turned to see Bella watching James carefully. She was no longer leaning against the wall and I could see that her hands, shoved deep into her pockets, were balled into fists. When he walked away, leaving me unscathed, I could see Bella visibly relax.

Getting the part I wanted was not the only good thing that happened during the fourth week. In this time, I realized that I had very strong feelings for Bella. I wanted to know everything about her, yes, but not because she was a challenge. I wanted to know everything about her because I wanted to be a part of her life.

I started asking Bella more questions, but I made sure that they were less personal. She answered those questions with the least difficulty. They were simple questions like "Do you like chocolate?" and they gradually escalated to questions like "Why did you move to Washington?" Her response was simply "To start over." I decided today that I was going to get her to talk about her past.

"So, tell me about the house you lived in, in Phoenix" I asked as we lounged on the couch. Bella's head was on a pillow in my lap and I was absentmindedly playing with her hair, pulling pieces of it up and twirling it around my finger to make it curl. I learned that she liked me playing with her hair just as much as she liked to play with mine. She told me once that she thought the length of my hair was adorable. She then pretended that she didn't say a thing.

I hated it when she did that but loved it at the same time.

"Um…which one?" she asked, bringing my palm to her lips and kissing it softly.

"How many houses did you live in?"

"Depends on how you count it" she mumbled. I was shocked. I'd only lived here in this ostentatiously sized house for my entire life and here she was probably living in her 6th.

"Well, how do you count it?" I asked.

She was quiet for a moment and I felt her body tensing. She was thinking about the past. I didn't expect her to answer any more questions after that. She usually stopped talking after she'd gone into a bad memory. I'd learned to just let it go and move on.

I started to reach for the remote when she stopped me. Shocked, I looked down at her to see her staring up at me with furrowed brows.

"It's okay" she said. "I trust you. Just…give me a second, okay?"

I nodded and waited patiently for her to start talking. I listened to her heavy breathing as she sorted through her dark past and stroked her hair calmly as she closed her eyes. When she opened them again, she looked determined.

"Four" she said quietly. I didn't speak. I just waited for her to continue. She looked up at me and said again, "Four houses". I nodded, convinced that that was all I was going to get, but she shocked me again.

"The first one was a big, mansion that my mother designed and decorated. She was an architect" Bella explained. "I didn't live there for long. My father moved us to a smaller house when I was three years old. A house where he believed memories couldn't haunt him." Bella looked away from me when she said this. I continued stroking her hair, trying my best to comfort her.

"The third house…" she continued. "It was bigger than the second, and the fourth…the house I was in before I came here…that was the worst house. It was big and beautiful and full of games and toys and expensive furniture…but it was no home."

Bella didn't say anything after that and I didn't ask her any more questions. Instead, I leaned down to press a gentle kiss to her forehead. "Thank you" it meant, and her slight nod showed me she understood.

That was the most she'd ever told me about her past and it left me confused, but closer to Bella. I was glad that Bella trusted me enough to talk to me. She needed to talk to someone, and even though it was hard for her, she was trying.

It was progress.


	11. Chapter 11

"_One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter."_

**Trapped**

**Eleven**

I woke up to two pairs of excited eyes – one brown and one blue.

A few years ago, I would have screamed, but not now. I'd grown accustomed to waking up this way. Jasper and Emmett had done this to me many times when I had something they wanted.

"Morning, lil sis", Emmett cooed, his wide, childlike brown eyes reflecting a happier version of my groggy ones. I groaned and turned away from him, but Jasper jumped over me to the other side of my bed and stared at me just as I'm sure my brother was from behind me. "You can't escape us" the move meant. I huffed and rolled onto my back. Suddenly, both of their faces were obstructing my view of the ceiling.

"Okay, what do you want?" Smiles lit up both of their faces.

"We're having a barbecue" Jasper grinned.

"But its December" I mumbled.

"So?" The serious expression on Emmett's face made me smile. He was never the conventional, or rational, sibling. He was above and beyond average when it came to his daily plans. The fact that obscene amounts of rain didn't allow snow to stick to the ground in Forks was a plus for his quirky mind. I couldn't complain, though. It was fun being his sister.

"What do you want?" I repeated myself. They still hadn't told me why they woke me up.

"We need you to call Bella and invite her over." Emmett said.

"Why? So you can hog her all night?" I asked, raising an accusatory eyebrow.

"Yes" they both said together. I chuckled and rolled my eyes.

"Okay, fine" I conceded. I actually wanted to spend time with Bella.

I looked over at my nightstand and saw that it was 6:30 AM. _Damn, those boys never slept._

I reached over and grabbed my phone. I'd called and texted Bella numerous times before, but that didn't stop the nervous feeling that overcame my body. I finally just shook my head and dialed her number quickly before I could talk myself out of it.

I heard her clear her throat on the other line. "Hello?" she said. Her voice was laced with sleep and it made her sound sexier than ever.

"Morning, Bella."

"Alice" she greeted. She always greeted me that way, like simply saying my name brought her all the joy in the world. I smiled into the phone and imagined her doing the same.

"Did I wake you up?"

"No" she yawned and I rolled my eyes at her blatant lie. "I had to get up for work anyway. Did you need something?"

"Well, Jasper and Emmett want to have a barbecue…" I started.

"In December?"

"Yea" I giggled. "They practically ambushed me this morning telling me to invite you over, or else."

Bella was chuckling softly on the other end. I heard her sigh, followed by the rustling of sheets and I imagined her getting out of bed and stretching.

"I doubt they said that to you" she said, her voice strained as if she was in the middle of stretching her sleep stiffened body.

"Okay, they didn't say 'Or else'." Bella chuckled. "But they did ambush me. So, can you come after work?" I asked hopefully.

"Of course, Ali Cat. I'll be there." I grinned at her use of my nickname. Ever since Emmett accidentally called me that in public, Bella just wouldn't let it go.

"Okay, see you later, Bella" I said, and then hung up before I could say anything embarrassingly corny.

By the time I walked into the living room, the boys were gone. I questioned Rosalie with a raised brow.

"Emmett's picking up Edward and the steaks and stuff. Jasper's picking up Tanya and Maria" she rolled her eyes at the mention of Maria's name.

"What is wrong with that girl?" I asked talking a seat on the couch beside her where she was painting her nails.

Rosalie shrugged. "I don't know. I'm just hoping Jasper comes to his senses soon." I nodded and leaned my head on her shoulder when we heard the front door open. Jasper walked into the living room with Tanya and Maria.

"Well, speak of the devil" Rosalie muttered, making me giggle.

Edward barged into the room obnoxiously soon after, barely saying hello to the people who live here. Emmett followed him with a slight scowl on his face that instantly disappeared when he saw Rosalie. As I looked around the room, I noticed everyone was paired up, sitting with their respective partners, and I was yet again, the odd one out. I found myself tapping my foot nervously, awaiting Bella's arrival.

Emmett walked into the kitchen to let the steaks thaw to room temperature when the doorbell rang. I looked at my cell phone to check the time. 1:34 PM. It couldn't have been Bella. She got off of work around 6.

With no hope of Bella being at the door, I stayed on the couch, frowning, waiting for the time when I could see my Bella again and not even caring that in my head, I sounded like a whiny teenager.

Imagine my surprise when I heard my brother's rumbling laughter followed by his deep voice, hollering, "Bella!"

A moment later, the two of them were walking into the room and Bella was greeting everyone. She gave a kiss on the cheek to Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie, a fist bump to Tanya and a simple nod to Edward and Maria.

As Bella moved around the room, I took the time to notice her outfit. Her sunglasses were hanging on the front of her orange shirt which had a picture of a grinning orange near her left shoulder. In bold, white letters, the phrase "Orange you glad I didn't say banana?" was printed across her sports-bra flattened chest. In the same spot as the grinning orange, a single banana frowned on the back of her shirt. It was the cutest article of clothing I'd ever seen Bella wear. The only black Bella wore were a pair of Adidas training pants with two white stripes running down the sides. Even Bella's sneakers were white, orange and blue Air Max 90's. Her hair fell down her back the way I loved it.

Finally, Bella turned to me and took in my outfit. Her eyes trailed up from my feet, clad in white ankle socks, past my denim shorts and red top, until she was looking into my brown eyes. I watched her eyes darken seductively as she flashed me a sexy, crooked smile. She quickly pulled me into her arms and brought her lips to my ear.

"You were right. You look amazing in red", she whispered. My face instantly matched my shirt. Bella was the only person that could make me blush and I had to admit that I liked it. Suddenly, Bella dropped her head onto my shoulder and groaned, loudly, bringing everyone's curious gaze to us.

"I've been waiting all day to see you" she mumbled. I smiled to myself when she wrapped her arms tighter around my waist.

"I thought you got off of work at 6" I commented, burying my fingers in her hair. She nodded against me.

"My boss let me off early because I was too distracted. And don't think for one minute that I don't blame you for that" her voice came, muffled by my shoulder. I giggled and pulled away from her before taking my seat back on the couch.

There was room for Bella to sit, it just wasn't near me since Rosalie and Emmett took up most of the couch. Silly me, I expected Bella to sit on the armrest or the floor, but playful Bella was here today, and she decided to make my lap her own personal couch.

"Ow! Bella! Get off of me!" I giggled, halfheartedly shoving her away while listening to her chuckle.

"I'm not even putting my full weight on you" she said, a bright smile coloring her tone. The way she was sitting, with her elbows on her knees, proved she was telling the truth. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pressed my cheek to her back.

"You're still heavy. My legs are going numb" I mumbled. By now, everyone in the room was openly gaping at us. Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper had small smiles on their faces, Tanya was giggling silently, Maria seemed jealous and Edward was torn between being jealous of me and uncomfortable by our relationship. Ever since Bella came along, Edward forgot that he'd ever flirted with me, and now that we're together, he didn't know what to make of having lesbian friends.

Finally, Bella stood and lifted me up before taking my seat and pulling me into her lap.

"Better?" she asked, looking down at me with a raised brow and adoring eyes. I nodded and wrapped my arms around her neck.

"Much."

It was then that Bella noticed our friends staring. "What?" she asked defensively. Rosalie chuckled. The boys shook their heads and went to check on the food. I smiled and trailed my hand down Bella's stomach, feeling her relax beneath me. I chose that moment to tease her.

Reaching up, I pushed my fingers through Bella's wavy locks and massaged her scalp while breathing heavily against her neck. She fought hard to keep her eyes opened and I watched them threaten to roll to the back of her head a few times.

While she was engaging in conversation with the girls, I pressed my chest against Bella's and listened to her choke on her words. When I pressed my lips to her jaw and sucked gently on the skin there, I felt Bella's arms tighten around my waist as she shifted in her seat. She cleared her throat and stood up, mumbling something about "helping the boys" and then quickly exited the room. I grinned in satisfaction.

About half an hour later, the girls and I started getting restless and decided to go outside and attempt to throw Emmett's football around. After changing into a pair of sweat pants and sliding into some shoes, I found that the football was already hogged.

I wandered into the spacious backyard to see Edward manning the grill. Emmett and Bella were caught up in an intense game of football while Jasper looked on excitedly. I walked up to him and he wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

I watched Bella closely, wary of her slim figure playing against my brother's experienced, brawny one. She held the ball to the ground with one hand and stared up at Emmett with a serious expression. I could see his mouth moving and knew he was trash talking, but Bella seemed oblivious.

The girls looked on from under a nearby tree as the game suddenly started.

Bella picked up the ball and padded backwards as if she were going to pass the ball.

"What is she doing?" I mumbled. Jasper shrugged and shook his head. Being involved with people who were serious about the game, the girls and I gained a general interest for football. All of us watched with genuine curiosity as Bella ducked under Emmett's outstretched arm and took off across the yard at full speed. Confused, Emmett quickly gathered himself and took off after her, running around the impromptu "field" to tackle her from the side before she made it 10 yards.

As she got closer and closer to her mark, my eyes widened and before I knew it, I was cheering for my girl. Emmett neared Bella and dove for her, but she jumped and twisted away from him, holding the ball high over her head as she completed her first down.

I looked around myself to find everyone else cheering, too. Even Edward had a wide eyed expression on his face as he grilled the steaks.

Bella turned to me and grinned as I bounced up and down, clapping for her. She started to make her way over to me, but Emmett stood up, frustrated and called her back.

"Hey, we're not done yet!"

In the end, Emmett won. Bella was faster than him, but when he had the ball she couldn't take him down. Sheer strength kept her from winning, but she proved that she had skill and knew her way around the game. I had no doubt that if Bella had a team to back her up, she would have won.

The barbecue turned out to be a blast and after we'd finished eating and cleaning up, Edward and Maria left. Tanya was spending the night.

Jasper had already gone to bed when Edward left. Rosalie and Tanya were in her room chatting about Project Runway, a T.V. show I personally idolized. Emmett was in the home gym doing his "victory workout". That left me and Bella alone in my room.

She'd been there thousands of times before, but now she was lying down with her eyes closed and her hands behind her head. Seeing her so at home in my bed was a turn on. I emerged from my closet in a Mickey Mouse shirt and matching pajama pants before crawling onto the bed and sitting on top of her, straddling her hips. She smiled and moved one of her hands to my waist.

I leaned down to press a lingering kiss to her lips.

"Thank you for coming today, Bella." Finally, she graced me with the sight of her sparkling hazel eyes.

"I told you I'd be here" she assured me, confused as to why I was thanking her.

"I know", I smiled. "I'm just glad you came."

Bella nodded and pulled me down until I was lying on top of her and I wiggled my body until I was laying beside her with my head on her chest and my leg over both of hers.

I reached up to trace the dark circles under Bella's eyes and she closed them again.

"You're tired" She nodded sleepily.

"You want to go home?" I asked. She shook her head.

"Not yet" she yawned. I giggled and snuggled closer into her side. After a long moment of comfortable silence, I spoke up.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?" she replied groggily.

"Do you like to shop?" I asked. Her immediate answer made me laugh.

"No."

"You didn't even think about it" I accused, poking her in the side and listening to her chuckle and flinch away from my jab.

"Okay, um…" She furrowed her brows and frowned, pretending to make a tough decision. "No."

I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"Will you go Christmas shopping with me tomorrow?"

"No."

"Bellaaaa…" I whined.

"What?" she chuckled.

"Will you _please_ go Christmas shopping with me tomorrow?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Pretty, please?"

"No." She was laughing now.

"Bellaaaa…"

"Alice…" she mocked.

I shifted onto my elbow so I was looking down at her. She opened her eyes when she felt my movement.

"Please, Bella?" I was begging now and I didn't even care.

Her eyes darkened dangerously the way they did at school. I searched for the pain in them and it faithfully appeared.

"Okay, I'll go with you" she relented, her tone clipped. "Just…never beg me for anything again. _Ever._"

I could feel the weight of Bella's past weighing down the room and quickly brushed it off.

"But how will I get you to do what I want, then?" I asked, trying desperately to lighten the mood.

When Bella laughed quietly and pulled my head back down to her chest, I knew it worked.

The curiosity was killing me, but I knew I couldn't ask Bella about her past now. I'd done something to trigger a bad memory and she was vulnerable. I couldn't see her eyes, but I could feel the vulnerability washing through her. I felt it in the tentative way she stroked my hair and the uneven rising and falling of her chest from her labored breathing. Bella was the most confident woman I'd ever met, aside from Rosalie, but now…in times like these when her past caught up with her, she seemed like a scared, insecure little girl.

Anger flowed through me at the thoughts of what could have happened to her. It seemed that since Bella had met me, her whole life revolved around protecting me. It frustrated me to no end that she thought she needed to protect me from herself. It frustrated me to no end that I couldn't protect her from her past. It frustrated me to no end that I couldn't tell her the one thing I knew since I laid eyes on her, for fear of pushing her away.

I loved her.

**A/n: It's really nice to come home and see all of these reviews (: **

**Sorry for the delay and here's chapter 11.  
**


	12. Chapter 12

"_Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future."_

**Trapped**

**Twelve**

Tanya had pancakes and strawberry syrup on the table when I walked into the kitchen. Everyone was eating, dressed and ready to go, including Bella to my surprise.

"When did you get back here?" I smiled, quickly making my way over to her and snaking my arms around her waist as she sat on the stool.

"Oh Bella's here, just forget about me, right?" Jasper whined from beside me.

"Exactly" I grinned and reached up to kiss to his cheek. "You know me so well." He rolled his eyes and I turned back to Bella.

"I was going to make you guys breakfast, but Tanya beat me to it." She smirked at the strawberry blonde.

"Well, you can always make me dinner" I offered, feeling the vibrations of her laughter flow through me.

"I get the feeling you're keeping me around just to have a personal chef" she accused. I kissed her neck and grinned before grabbing my own plate of pancakes.

The ride to Seattle was long and it would have been tiring if Emmett, Jasper and Bella weren't singing show tunes.

When Bella offered to give Jasper a ride in her truck, Emmett insisted on going with him. Rosalie and Tanya didn't want to ride by themselves, and since I couldn't drive, I had no choice but to squeeze myself in with my family.

Emmett, of course, sat in the passenger seat. Jasper sat in the center of the backseat, grinning like a fool. Tanya sat to his left and Rosalie to his right. Luckily, I was small enough to squeeze into the spot between Jasper and Rosie.

I didn't realize how easily Bella fit in with my family until she started singing the theme song to Family Guy with them. Tanya and I couldn't contain our laughter and Rosalie was trying hard to fight the smile threatening to overpower her scowl.

When we'd finally made it to the mall, we split up into teams like we did every year, betting the same thing we always did.

"Last one to the food court buys lunch!" Emmett called as the boys started to walk away, Bella with them to even out the numbers.

Tanya found presents for everyone on her list easily. Rosalie managed to snag something she thought everyone would love, taking her time to pick out her Victoria Secret present for Emmett. After about five minutes of unrelenting persuasion, she managed to talk me into buying my own lingerie. The lingerie wasn't the problem, buying the lingerie to model for Bella was the problem.

I tried to tell her that we hadn't even done anything yet, but she wasn't having it.

"But you will, right?"

When I didn't answer, she grinned in triumph. "That's what I thought."

And that's how I ended up at the cash register, paying for a blood red corset with a matching garter belt and thigh-high, fishnet stockings. That's also how I ended up paying for a black lace bra with matching panties and a pair of red and dull orange lace bras with matching panties.

To say I wasn't even a little bit excited would be a blatant lie.

After Victoria's Secret, the three off us walked around the mall until I found the perfect gift for Bella…one I was actually going to give her.

We stopped in front of a modern looking Cohen's Fashion Optical where I found the perfect sunglasses for her. I figured if she wasn't going to give them up entirely, she might as well wear ones I liked.

The sunglasses were silver aviator glasses with reflection lenses and a single orange line running across the inside of either temple. I knew she'd love it.

Sadly, by the time we made it to the food court, the boys were already there. Rosalie sighed and pulled out her wallet to pay for her and Emmett. Tanya was paying for Jasper and herself. I turned to look at Bella who was smirking and holding two bags.

"You're going to pay for me, right?" she grinned, leaning down to brush the tip of her nose against my ear. I nodded, unable to speak and she laughed quietly before grabbing my hand and walking over to _Sbarro._

"You got everything you needed?" I asked, eyeing her black shopping bags warily.

"Yea. I had to shop for extra people this year" she said and then stared at me pointedly.

"How many extra people?" I asked, expecting her to say "one". I don't know why I even bothered to predict Bella's actions anymore.

"Five and I blame you" she frowned but her tone was teasing. "Not only do I have to buy you something, but I have to get your whole family something and Tanya too."

I think I fell in love with her a little more when she said that.

"Stop looking at me like that, Alice. You're ruining my 'rep'." She grinned and shook her head at her joke. I rolled my eyes at Bella's attempt to be funny. I think it was the attempts that made her hilarious in my eyes. They definitely made her beyond adorable.

The six of us bought our food to go and picked up a Christmas tree at Sears and a movie at Blockbuster before going back home.

Putting up the Christmas tree was probably the most exciting part of the day. The six of us crammed ourselves into the attic, searching for our dusty decorations. We easily got sidetracked when we found family mementos and childhood photographs of either me or Emmett. When Rosalie found a picture of toddler Emmett wearing a diaper on his head and a hand towel around his waist with his rubber ducky in his hand, he suddenly became very focused on getting the decorations and getting out. When Bella found the aforementioned rubber ducky, he gave up his search and left with whatever he'd already found.

The boys haphazardly threw decorations on the tree which Rosalie and I ended up fixing to make presentable. Bella kept teasing me, no doubt getting revenge for the barbecue. Before we started the movie, I ran quickly to my room and hurriedly wrapped the box with Bella's gift in it. With Christmas only a week away, I wanted everything to be perfect, and that meant that Bella could not see her preset until Christmas Day.

I wasn't sure what movie we were watching. Bella and I were sitting on the floor under the window, enthralled in our own whispered conversation.

"So…what's with that James guy?" Bella asked suddenly, keeping her eyes on her food.

"He's a friend" I shrugged, watching her carefully.

"Just a friend?"

"He _was_ my boyfriend…" I trailed off having no idea where this was going.

"Did you love him?" I stared at Bella but she refused to look at me.

"No" I answered honestly.

"Cool" she said, glancing at me briefly to give me a small smile. I didn't miss the insecurity in her eyes.

"You're beautiful, Bella." She tensed and slowly turned her head to me. I internally cursed myself for triggering another memory, but as Bella looked at me, I could see fear melting away.

"Why are you so insecure?" I asked. Her eyes widened in shock.

"I'm…not…" she tried to say, but it came out as a question.

"You're always second guessing. You second guess everything you say, everything you do. You even second guess _my_ actions." Bella didn't respond. She turned her gaze back to the plate of food in her lap.

"What are you afraid of?" I softened my tone, trying to comfort, not chastise. Bella laughed dryly and grabbed my hand. Staring at our tangled fingers, she shook her head sadly.

"Everything."

**A/n: Ahhh! 200 reviews! I'm so excited! **

**Alright, I'm going to be nice and tell you that you'll find out the truth about Bella in about two more chapters, so sit tight and enjoy the ride. **

**And no complaining! (:  
**


	13. Chapter 13

"_I am convinced that He does not play dice."_

**Trapped**

**Thirteen**

Forks High had finally released us for "Winter Recess". I suppose I was expecting a change, but nothing happened. Every year, my Christmas expectations were higher than the last, and every year my hopes would be crushed. Emmett told me not to expect anything, but I refused to listen and every year my heart took a brutal beating.

Bella noticed the depressed state that possessed my body since I took that dreaded phone call this morning, but she didn't say anything while we were in school. As soon as the principal wished us a "Happy Holiday" and bid us farewell, Bella was glaring at me like I'd done something wrong.

My family had already gone home and Bella opened the door for me to jump into her car.

Neither of us said a word on the way to my house and as soon as Bella killed the engine, I all but jumped out of the car and ran towards the house.

"Alice!"

I froze at the sound of Bella's voice. Turning slowly towards her, I found her leaning against her car and waving me over with her index finger.

I refused to look her in the eyes, upset with myself for practically ignoring and taking my anger out on her all day when she'd been nothing but kind to me since the day I met her.

Bella didn't make a move to touch me, her fingers didn't even twitch, and I was worried that she was mad at me. Bella had never been mad at me before. I was sure that the worst emotion she'd ever felt for me was mild annoyance when I continuously pestered her about her past. I wasn't sure what to do with an angry Bella.

I could feel Bella's gaze burning a hole in my forehead and my worry increased. Suddenly she grabbed my hand. When I looked up, she was looking into the woods surrounding my house.

"Take a walk with me" she said, still looking away from me. It wasn't a demand but I knew she'd persuade me into agreeing anyway, so I relented on my own.

It felt like hours that we trudged through the woods. I'm not sure Bella had any particular place in mind. She most likely wanted both of us to walk off our frustrations, and I'll readily admit that it worked. Bella never let my hand go as she took a seat on an abandoned tree stump. She tugged on my hand until I was sitting sideways on her lap and then she held me close with her head on my chest.

We sat there for a while, just holding each other in comfortable silence until Bella spoke.

She lifted her head to look me in the eyes. In them, I could see confusion, worry and hesitant determination, as contradictory as it may seem.

"I don't know how to…" she started and then looked away from me.

"Bella" I coaxed repeatedly until her frightened hazel eyes met my brown.

"Did I mess up?" she asked lowly, as if someone could hear her in the middle of the woods.

"What?" Bella looked away from me again, but quickly brought her gaze back before I could tell her to.

"Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you?"

My eyes widened as I stared at the girl I loved incredulously. Here I was thinking she was upset with me when she was really beating herself up unnecessarily, all because of my foolish, stubborn, irrational emotions.

"No, Bella" I sighed and hugged her close to me. "You didn't do anything, sweetheart. I'm sorry."

Bella nodded and pulled away after a few seconds, looking me in the eyes.

"What's wrong, Alice?" When I didn't answer she continued. "You're unhappy. I'd like to make whatever's bothering you go away if I can."

I looked into Bella's eyes, stunned by the undeniable sincerity in them.

"It's Christmas" I admitted with a sigh.

"But you _like_ Christmas" Bella replied, confused.

"I do" I nodded. "But that isn't the problem."

Bella stared at me expectantly.

"Every year, I have this…_hope_ that my parents will come home for Christmas and every year they don't, but I can't stop wishing they would. Emmett tells me that if I keeping letting them destroy my hope, I won't have much left. I'm surprised I'm not running on empty yet."

Bella nodded solemnly. "I take it they're not coming again…"

I chuckled dryly. "My mother called me this morning from Hawaii. Yea, they're not coming."

"I think it's a good thing you have hope." I waited for her to continue. "It's one of the many things I like about you." I smiled and hugged her again.

"Thank you, Bella."

"Anything for you."

I was perfectly happy with where we were, sitting in the middle of nowhere and finding comfort in each other's arms. I'd always dreamed of extravagance in my imagined relationships, but lately, I started to realize that none of that was what I wanted.

I wanted Bella and all the complex simplicity that came along with her. Bella herself was a contradiction. A lovely, hazel-eyed, sweet lipped, contradiction, and with every second that passed by, I found myself falling deeper in love with her.

I'd wondered on many occasions what was to become of us. When I was with James, it felt like just a "high school thing", but with Bella…

Bella felt like forever.

"Alice will you do me a favor?" Bella said, pulling me from my sentimental thoughts.

"Mhm…" I mumbled into her shoulder.

"I want to give you the best Christmas you've ever had…will you let me take you out tonight? We can go anywhere you want. You name it, I'll take you there…" She rambled as if I would refuse her charming offer.

"Bowling" I said, smiling against her neck.

"Bowling?" she asked. I could hear the amusement in her voice.

"I want to go bowling, Bella" I repeated, pulling away from her and attacking her with my childlike eyes and renowned pout. She chuckled and shook her head at me and an hour later, we were renting shoes at _Fast Lanes_ in Port Angeles.

I had no doubt that Bella let me win. She spent most of her time watching me and commenting on what she liked to call my "inhuman grace".

I realized she was losing on purpose when she suddenly became distracted by her thoughts and forgot to aim for the gutter.

"Bella!" I squealed. "You got one!"

She looked confused until she glanced up at the scoreboard and smirked at her strike.

"Lucky shot, I guess" she mumbled before taking her seat. I couldn't complain though. It felt good to win against Bella, even if the game _was_ fixed.

Bella and I had wandered onto the boardwalk after leaving the bowling alley. Tired of walking, I squeezed Bella's hand and pulled her down to sit on the wood beside me. She laughed at the unexpected movement and laid her head in my lap. I reached down to pull her hair free of the pony-tail that had become annoying once I'd seen her without it.

"Bella what were you going to say earlier? In the woods?" I asked out of the blue. She looked up at me and shrugged.

"Please, tell me" I whispered knowing by now that a shrug was another way of saying "It's not important" or just plain, "I'm not telling you."

"I was…I was going to say that I don't know how to care for someone." I smiled slightly and shook my head.

"Yes you do." It was a fact.

"Trust me, I don't."

"Bella" I said sternly, bringing her gaze back to mine. "Those boys, Seth, Brandon and Jacob, you look out for them like they're your brothers. And you know how much Jasper and Emmett love your car. You went against your own rules and let them ride in it. And look at this, today. I told you how shitty Christmas was for me, and you gave me the happiest Christmas I can remember. Sure it's not Christmas yet, but I can go into it without that feeling of lost hope. You don't see how good you are Bella. You take care of everyone, but yourself. And that's okay for now, because that's my job."

At the end of my speech, I leaned down to kiss Bella softly. I couldn't believe I went all day without kissing her, sidetracked by ridiculous emotions.

"Do you believe in God, Alice?" Bella's question caught me off guard.

"Sure I do, as much as the next person" I answered, confused. "Don't you?"

"It depends on which God you're talking about?" I furrowed my brows and frowned.

"I thought we were talking about the Christian's God." Bella nodded her head in my lap.

"The Christians believe in many Gods" she started, cut off by my voice.

"No they don't." Bella smiled and looked into my eyes.

"Just let me finish, okay?" When I nodded, she continued.

"Christians believe in a God who condones war so long as we humans have a good enough reason for it. They believe in a God who allows us to kill and steal from other lands things that are not ours to take under the carefully placed pretense of protecting our people. They believe in a God who undermines a particular race or gender. They believe in a God who shuns young girls who've become pregnant before marriage, but they won't accept them if they've had an abortion either. Christians believe in a God who says we can love whomever we chose, unless the person happens to share our gender. They believe in a God who says there's something wrong with women like me who refuse to succumb to society's ideas of a woman – an uneducated, overly feminine, baby making machine. So when people tell me Christians are monotheistic, I say bullshit."

I'd never heard Bella speak so passionately about anything and listening to the truth in her words, I felt moved.

"Which God do you believe in?" I asked quietly, trying not to ruin the mood.

Bella's eyes drifted to me once more and I watched her hardened features soften.

"I believe in the God that put you in my life."

I was speechless as I stared down at Bella, all the love I felt for her threatening to pour out of me in the form of tears. Looking into her eyes, I could have sworn I saw my emotions reflected in them.

"I've been thinking about this a lot, Alice" she spoke just before I could foolishly pour my heart out to her. "I want to try going to church, but I don't think I can go alone." Her gaze turned pleading. "Will you go with me?"

I brushed a stray lock away from my Bella's face and nodded quietly. At that moment I knew I'd do anything for her.

And that is how I ended up sitting beside a nervous Bella at a church on Christmas Eve. Bella seemed extremely out of place and she kept looking at me to follow my actions and see what she was supposed to be doing. At one point, when we all had to kneel to pray for our personal intentions, Bella stayed down the longest. Later on, when I asked her what she prayed for, she left me speechless yet again.

I refused to let Bella leave. I never liked to fall asleep alone on Christmas Eve. Usually Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie stayed in my room to fill the gaping hole in my heart, but now, wrapped up in Bella's strong, protecting arms, I couldn't feel a shred of emptiness. Bella was more than enough for me…if only I could have remembered that when I'd stupidly made the worst mistake of my life.

"What did you pray for today?" Bella whispered after humming a strange but sweet lullaby into my ear.

"You, my family, world peace" was my generic answer. I felt Bella's lips curl into a smile against my shoulder before she reached up to press a kiss in my hair. "What did you pray for?" I mumbled groggily. I barely heard what she said, but I'll never forget the words.

"I prayed for my parents and the people I've met here that have become my family in such a small amount of time."

Just before I drifted into splendid unconsciousness, I heard Bella's distinct voice in my ear, whispering sweetly…

"I prayed for the love of my life."

**A/n: Thank you so much for all of the reviews, it makes me extremely happy :) Excuse my laziness, but I let the reviews get entirely out of hand, so to all of you who reviewed chapter 12, you automatically get 2 brownie points. **

**Thanks for being patient with my irregular updates, but summer is coming to an end and life has begun again. **

**I promise not to abandon this story as long as you guys stick with me. **

**Thanks again.**

**Xoxo, Karma.  
**


	14. Chapter 14

_"When I stand before thee at the day's end, thou shalt see my scars and know that I had my wounds and also my healing."_

**Trapped**

**Fourteen**

I didn't get to spend Christmas with Bella as I'd expected. Her family surprised her with a trip to Arizona. Apparently they didn't know how much malice she regarded the state with. When she told me, I momentarily feared the rage that darkened her hazel eyes. I knew she wouldn't hurt me, but still, the fear remained. I tried comforting her and I managed to get her to laugh and smile and sometimes even forget that she was going, but once I left her to her thoughts, the impenetrable hate returned.

Even without Bella, Christmas day was a success. My parents didn't bother picking up the phone to wish us a happy holiday, and I didn't mind it one bit. Emmett wanted to be Santa Claus, so we spent the morning searching any and all of the opened stores in Port Angeles for a Santa Claus hat, landing us back home late in the afternoon.

Santa Claus – of course – insisted that Jasper made him cookies and that Rosalie and I sit on his lap. Waiting for Jasper to find the appropriate recipe and bake the cookies, left us without presents until early in the evening, when "Santa" was finally satisfied.

The gift giving was quick and easy. Jasper blew up the photo we found of Emmett the other day – which was his much appreciated present to all of us – and hung it over the fireplace. Emmett gave me a phone card to call our parents. He wanted nothing to do with them, but he knew how much I cared. Now Rosalie, I was expecting her to give me the gift with the least sentimental value as always – she never really caught on to our tradition – but when I unwrapped the square box and lifted the brown, fabric covered lid, I was stunned by the gift inside.

Framed by gold and silver dancing in an intricate design, was a photo of Bella and I sitting beneath the tree in the backyard – the one that had become _our_ tree. We both had our legs stretched out before us, Bella's greatly surpassing mine. Bella was pointing and laughing at the difference while I covered my smile with a pout – my arms folded across my chest. Bella's arm was draped around my shoulders and she was pulling me into her side. Her sunglasses were nowhere to be found and her hair was pulled back into the French braid she allowed me to create. What caught my eye, however, was none of the above. Instead, it was the look in her eyes that brought me this overwhelming surge of happiness. In Bella's eyes I found a mixture of emotions. I found joy, contentment, happiness, satisfaction, admiration and above all, love. It was the best present I'd ever received. That was, until I opened the present Bella left for me under _our_ tree.

A plastic cow.

I suddenly decided cows weren't that bad after all.

Christmas passed along with New Years and Bella still hadn't returned. I planned a picnic for the day after she came home, to spend time with her and cheer her up. Despite the text messages reading "goodnight Ali Cat" and "Happy New Years" or "Merry Christmas", I hadn't heard a thing from Bella. I didn't ask how she was doing, because I had no idea what to ask for. I had no idea why exactly she hated Arizona so much, so I decided to wait until she returned when I could at least look into her eyes and gauge her reactions.

Rosie and the boys had gone to her house for the day, just to check up on everything and make use of the magnificent building. While they were there, I was shopping for the last minute touches on the picnic I was planning. I had just finished buying sodas when my phone rang.

"Hello?" I answered on the fourth ring, in a hurry to pick up before the call went to voicemail.

"Ali" she cooed into the phone sounding happier than I expected.

"Bella, you're home!" I squealed.

"Yes I am" she chuckled. "Where are you?"

"I'm at the supermarket in Forks but I'm about to go home now."

"No!" she called hurriedly. "Just, stay there. I'm coming to get you."

"But I already called Tanya to give me a ride."

"Alice, do me this one favor. Just stay there…please." She pleaded with a strained voice and wondering if I'd hurt her somehow, I agreed absentmindedly before calling Tanya and telling her the news.

It didn't take Bella long to find me sitting outside of the grocery store. She grabbed my store bought items and placed them in her trunk while I followed behind her. Once they were taken care of, Bella spun around and swept me quite literally off my feet, hugging me close to her body.

"I missed you so much" she groaned into my ear.

"You too, hon" I giggled.

Bella smiled and helped me into her car and before I knew it, we were on the road, a strangely familiar road, but a road nonetheless.

"Where are we going?" I asked, watching her profile carefully.

"Why do you always ask?" she chuckled, shaking her head. I caught a burst of excitement in her eyes. "Why don't you just wait until we get there?"

"Because I know you'll tell me if I _do_ ask."

"What if I tell you I want it to be a surprise? Will you let me have my moment, then?"

"Nope" I replied jokingly. Bella laughed softly and grinned at the road ahead of her.

"I'm taking you to meet my parents."

I froze. "What? Now?" Bella disregarded my shrieking.

"Yes, now" she shook her head.

"But…but I'm not ready. I mean look at me, I'm dressed to go to the supermarket."

"Alice McCarty, you are _never_ 'dressed to go to the supermarket'."

"Well, yea" I agreed, making her laugh at me again. "But still, look at me."

"I have and each time you look more perfect than the last. Just relax, please."

I looked at her again, watching excitement contradicting the strain of her tone and realized it was the word "please" that was troubling her. I didn't have time to argue any further, because we were parked in front of the Swan residence and Bella was out the car quicker than lightning.

"Are you sure I look okay?" I asked when she helped me out.

"Positive" she assured, taking my hand.

My heart beat quickly in my chest and I felt my lungs threatening to burst. The only thing keeping me grounded was Bella's hand wrapped around mine. She placed a kiss to my palm before she unlocked the door and let us in.

A brown haired woman stood behind the door, waiting to greet us with a large smile. I glanced back at Bella as she locked the door behind her and she took her place beside me.

"Alice, this is Renee" she said pointed to the woman. At the sound of Bella's voice, Chief Swan wandered into the foyer, smiling at me standing beside his daughter. "And that's Charlie. Guys, this is Alice." Bella looked at me before she uttered her next words, "My girlfriend."

I was overjoyed with Bella addressing me as such for the first time, but I was stuck trying to figure out why she didn't call her parents Mom or Dad.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Swan" I said, extending my hand to Bella's mother, "Chief Swan", and then her father.

"Oh, please call us by our first names" Renee insisted.

"She doesn't like to feel old" Bella chuckled loud enough for her mother to hear. I giggled and nodded, letting Bella lead me into the living room. Renee took a seat beside me on the modest yet extremely comfortable couch. Bella sat on its arm so she could be close to me and Charlie took a seat in a broken in armchair. I predicted that to be _his_ armchair.

"So, Alice" Renee started and I prepared myself for the interrogation that was to come, surprised when it didn't. "All I have to say is thank you."

"What for, if I may ask?" Bella laughed at my formality and mumbled "relax" in my ear.

"For that" she said pointing to Bella who was still staring at me. I looked across the room to see Charlie watching his daughter as well, a small smile on his face. "She's an amazing girl and a wonderful daughter, but I've never seen her so happy. Even when she's not laughing, just looking in her eyes, I can see less and less pain every day." I nodded at Renee, wondering if she knew what caused Bella's pain, but I could see that she didn't, or at least not the entire story.

"Seriously?" Bella chuckled. "I'm sitting right here, old woman."

Renee rolled her eyes and smiled at her daughter's jab. Choosing retaliation, she focused all of her attention on me before she spoke. "So, I don't have too many embarrassing tales to tell you about Bella but I do know some things that'll annoy her forever, like she used to talk to her imaginary friend Margot in her sleep." Renee chuckled and glanced up at Bella.

"Okay! I'm thirsty, are you thirsty? Let's go get something to drink" she said before grabbing my hand and dragging me into the kitchen. I sat at the small kitchen table while Bella poured us some lemonade.

"So, Margot huh? Was she pretty?" I teased.

When Bella didn't say anything I started to worry if I'd struck a nerve, but she turned around with a smile that I knew to be forced and handed me my glass.

"Incredibly" she smiled, but something was off.

Bella didn't sit down with me as she drank her juice. She tapped her index finger against the glass and stared out of the window beside me.

"Bella?" I planned to ask her what was wrong, but I'd caught her off guard. She jumped and spilled her juice down the front of her shirt.

"Shit" she muttered, grabbing paper towels and cleaning up the floor.

I tried to apologize for startling her, but she just shook her head before leading me up the stairs and into her room.

Her room was nothing like I'd expected.

It was empty.

Bella had a bed with blue sheets by one of the two windows in her room. Across the room from the bed was a single dresser with a small group of picture frames lying above it. The pictures were of strangers; children and teenagers and two adults that looked more like Bella than her parents. Each of the children had a look in their eye; a look that said "I have a secret". I wondered if they knew Bella's.

I didn't have time to focus on the white, emptiness of her walls because when I glanced at Bella, she had taken off her shirt and was facing her closet.

I walked up to her and pressed my chest to her back, wrapping my arms around her waist. When Bella leaned into me, I lifted my fingers, brushing over her ribs until my palms reached her bra covered breasts. I held them firmly in my hands as Bella reached back to pull her hair over her shoulder. I lifted myself onto my toes and pressed a sweet kiss to the back of her neck.

I brushed the tip of my nose against her smooth skin on my way to place a lingering kiss to her left shoulder. I moved to do the same to her right, but stopped when I swept her hair out of the way.

There, on her right shoulder, a woman's name was printed in a red inked tattoo.

_Athenodora_.

I stepped back and turned away quickly, suddenly feeling extremely dirty. Bella moved to stand before me, but I didn't dare look her in the eyes. I started to wonder…doubting every emotion I'd seen in her eyes. The mere thought of her being incapable of returning my love ripped at my heart and brought me on the verge of tears.

"What's wrong, Alice?" she whispered and I marveled at how even her tone seemed to scream "I love you."

"Who is she?" I asked.

"Who are you talking about?"

"The woman tattooed onto your back" I spat. If she could forget a woman she'd obviously loved so easily, then how long would it be before I became just another distant memory?

"I…I don't have a tattoo."

"Don't lie to me, Bella" I fumed. "I saw it with my own eyes! You have her name tattooed in red!"

I could hear her deep sigh and glanced up in time to see an onslaught of pain splayed out on her face for everyone to see.

"Did you love her?" I asked.

"No" she answered quickly, honestly.

"Then why do you have her name tattooed-" I argued but Bella cut me off.

"I _do not _have a tattoo."

"I can _see_ it!"

"It's not a tattoo, Alice."

"Then what is it?" I demanded.

"It's a scar" she mumbled before turning back to her closet and pulling on the first shirt she could find, effectively shutting me out.

**A/n: Pardon my laziness once again but I figured you guys would rather have an update than a PM from me :) Sacrafices had to be made, and I decided to give the update instead. 2 brownie points to the chapter 13 reviewers and thanks to those of you reading even if you don't review. **


	15. Chapter 15

"_Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within."_

**Trapped**

**Fifteen**

"Bella" I called to her. She didn't answer.

"Bella" I tried again, fighting back sorrow. I had to be strong for her.

"Please don't shut me out."

She turned to me then, her features made of stone and her eyes, two glazed over pits of darkness, pain and…rage.

"What happened to you?" I whispered to keep my voice from cracking.

Bella looked at me and turned back into her closet.

"Bella" I pleaded with her. "Please talk to me." She didn't face me as she spoke her next words.

"I guess it's now or never, huh?"

I didn't want to say it…but she knew it was. "I want to be in this with you but that can't happen if you won't tell me who you are."

"You know me better than I know myself."

"I know who you are now, and maybe even who you will be but I don't know how you got this way. Please, Bella don't shut me out." I was desperate. There was no turning back now. After today, we couldn't go on like nothing happened. But I just couldn't let her go. I loved her too much.

Bella reached into her closet and grabbed an old binder before turning back to me.

"Let's go have that picnic now" she said, heading for the door.

"Bella…" I could feel my heart breaking.

"I'm not shutting you out." She looked me in the eyes when she said this and I found pure determination. With a slight nod of my head, I followed her out of the room.

The ride to my house was long and silent. I fixed sandwiches while Bella set up in the backyard. I could tell something was about to change and I had no idea what it was. It terrified and exhilarated me all the same.

I found Bella sitting on the checkered picnic blanket under our tree with her head in her hands and her elbows on her knees. I watched her shudder once then twice and then a third time before she shook her head and gathered herself. I made my presence known, unnecessarily marching towards her so she could hear my footsteps. She looked up at me with an expression so lost, so afraid, so…broken, that I had to look away. I was sure she thought I hadn't witnessed her moment of weakness and if that pleased her, I would let her believe it.

Bella ignored the basket of lunch I placed between us and gathered me into her arms as soon as I sat down. She pulled me around so that I was sitting between her legs with my back against her chest, and then she reached around and placed the old binder in my lap.

I looked up at her but she didn't return my gaze. She fingered the cover of the binder with such reverence that I felt the need to pay more attention to it. It was then that I noticed the thick telltale cover of a photo album.

She opened it wordlessly and immediately, I was met by the smiling faces of strangers. Bella singled out one particular picture of the couple on her bedroom dresser. The blonde man kept his dancing gray eyes on the woman. His strong, handsome face was nuzzled into her neck and laugh lines coupled with stretched dimples framed his easy smile. The woman was beyond beautiful. Words could not explain her auburn hair and her glowing green eyes. Her tan skin matched Bella's along with her crooked nose and full upper lip. Her outstretched hand snapped the marvelous picture of the young couple in love. Bella rested her chin against my shoulder and placed the picture back into its laminated covering before taking out another.

The same woman from before was smiling at the camera, but she was no longer taking her own picture. This picture captured her entire body from head to toe and my eyes found her swollen stomach covered by a white tank top. She looked to be about 9 months pregnant and ready to pop. This woman meant something to Bella and when I looked closer I noticed the sun behind the woman, spreading through her auburn locks, illuminating it softly. It gave her hair a specific tint and made it appear to be…

Orange.

"That is Esme, my mother" she whispered to me. "My given name is Isabella Esme Masen. I changed it when Charlie and Renee adopted me."

"Isabella?" I asked. The name was foreign to my tongue but still it seemed to fit her.

She looked at me and nodded slowly. "It sounds right when you say it. It sounds like how I imagine Esme would say it. It's never sounded right before. Carlisle used to call me Bella all the time. Even he couldn't say it like my mother could."

"Carlisle?" I asked.

"My father" she explained. "The blonde man."

"What happened?" I asked quietly.

Bella sighed before she spoke. "My mother died during my birth, my father…in a car accident that I survived." Her tone was bitter. "Sometimes I wish I hadn't."

I didn't say a word. Nothing I said could remove the pain I felt at her words. Now that I had her, it was hard to imagine a life without Bella.

"Anyway when he died I went straight to the orphanage. Nobody wanted me, sad little orphaned Bella in their family, ruining the happy world of bullshit they created for themselves and I didn't want them, running around with their perfect lives and annoying questions and bright smiles. I didn't want any of it.

"It was in the orphanage that I met Margot." She smiled a sad smile. "She was everything I wanted to be. Smart, beautiful, tall…she was my Rosalie and the first thing she said to me was 'You look horrible.'" Bella chuckled. "She didn't tip toe around me or ask if I was okay. She became the one person I could trust in the world, since my father was gone. And when she was adopted by Ms. Caius, she promised to come back for me. As always, she kept her promise and soon, Ms. Caius offered to keep me as a foster child." Bella shook her head sadly.

"The faceless woman; that's what we called her – Margot and I. She never laughed, never smiled, never frowned, but she was beautiful. She was so beautiful she didn't seem human. Her pale skin stretched over her body without wrinkle or flaw and her dark hair brushed her back without a single split end." Bella's eyes found mine in a brief moment of reality. "Believe it or not, I was afraid the day I met you. You looked too perfect. I thought if I trusted you, you'd hurt me too, but I couldn't help the way I felt about you." She turned her gaze to the photo album and her eyes settled on an old faded picture that seemed to be folded and unfolded millions of times before. The girl in the picture was barely a teenager but her deep brown eyes held pain and wisdom beyond her years, despite her luminous gap-toothed smile and dyed pink hair. Bella didn't say it, but I knew it was Margot.

"We didn't know." She spoke suddenly. "We didn't know what Ms. Caius was capable of. She was always a little strange but she was nice to us. She told us to call her by her first name, Athenodora, and we had no idea why the other foster kids were so afraid of her. They didn't even try to warn us. It was one day in the middle of the night when Margot came crawling into the room I shared with three other girls that I found out. Margot never cried, but she fell into my arms that night and she bawled and bawled and I couldn't stop her. I didn't know what to do, I was only 10. She kept mumbling, 'Not you, I won't let her get you too, Bella.'" Bella shook her head and tapped the photo of Margot once. "The only promise she couldn't keep. It wasn't until the next day that I saw the bruises on her face and neck.

"It was about a year later when Athenodora finally came for me. I was going into the 6th grade and Athenodora sent everybody but me to school, saying that I couldn't go to school because I had to get a physical. I never got that physical." Bella mumbled dryly. "I think she wanted me because of my music. I used to play to feel closer to my father, but Athenodora gradually paid more attention to me when I was playing the piano until finally, she decided she needed me. Every time, she'd tell me to play for her before she did things to me. She turned the only thing I had left of my family into her sick, twisted foreplay. She taught me how to please a woman. She taught me 16 ways to bring a woman to her knees and each time I refused her 'lessons' she'd beat me worse than before. She beat the stubbornness right out of me. She took my innocence and she took my music and then she took my best friend…my sister.

"Two years later, I was 13 and Margot was 16. I was finally graduating from the 8th grade and Margot was so proud of me. She gave me a necklace that used to belong to her grandmother and she told me to protect it and never lose it. I still have it in my room." Bella's smile was sadder than ever before. "But the day after my graduation, the very next day a thunderstorm struck Phoenix. I remember it like it was yesterday. Everyone was asleep except for me. I closed my eyes and listened to the rain pelting my window rhythmically. '_Tacks_ against the wall' I used to call it when I was little and wanted to tell my father it was raining." Bella smiled.

"It was the thunder that brought me from the constant daydreams of my father. It was loud and so close I thought that if I reached out, I could touch it, feel the sound waves booming against my palm, rippling through my fingers. I wanted to write a song about it – the thunder. I wanted to capture it, recreate it on my piano, keep it locked away in the notes and never, _never_ set it free. I wanted to show it to Margot and watch her smile and applaud me and tell me to play it again like she always did, but that never happened.

"I felt rain drops on my forehead, sliding down my nose and splitting to drip across my lips and cheek. I frowned at my leaking ceiling wondering how the rain could reach my room when it was Margot who lived in the room above mine, all alone in that dark attic. I leapt from my bed and found my way in the dark to the stairs, taking them two at a time to investigate. Margot's door was unlocked and it creaked opened ominously with barely a tap from my fingers.

"Her room was too dark for me to see a thing; the pathetic windows on either side of the room did nothing to illuminate my path.

'Margot?' I called, moving forward blindly with outstretched arms. She didn't answer me. I found the light switch against the wall and flipped it to no avail – the power was out. I left it on in case the power returned and shuffled closer to her bed. I felt wetness beneath my feet but not a single drop on my head and though it was still raining outside, Margot had somehow patched up the ceiling.

'Margot?' I called again. She still wouldn't answer. I reached out and found the edge of her bed, patting my way gently across it, searching for the lump of her body. Her sheets were drenched, yet she was lying in them, probably fast asleep.

'Marge, wake up. Your sheets are wet. You'll get sick. Marge, wake up'" Bella whispered, reliving the moment.

"The lights flickered three times before turning on completely and each time I made out Margot lying in her bed, the lights shut off again. The lights finally stayed on and I looked up squinting, my eyes adjusting to the sudden brightness. 'Margot?' I was getting worried. She wouldn't answer me. I finally opened my eyes completely and found blood, lots of it, drenching her sheets and spilling onto the floor, seeping through it. I looked at my hands and noticed they were shaking and covered in blood – Margot's blood. Margot's eyes were open and they were staring at me. For the first time, her eyes were twinkling with happiness and the smile on her lips was real. 'Margot? Wake up! Margot, please!" Bella cried out and I pretended not to see the tears pooling at the corner of her eyes. "Turns out it wasn't thunder after all."

"They said my screams woke the neighbors who called the police. They said Margot was clinically depressed and inevitably committed suicide. I told them to go fuck themselves. They didn't know Margot. They didn't know the things Athenodora did to us. They had no idea what they were talking about. They didn't find the note Margot left in my dresser. The one that Margot scrawled out in her panicked calligraphy, 'I never should have made those promises. I'm so sorry little sister.' They didn't know.

"It pissed me off. All of the foster children were going back to the orphanage, the social worker deeming Ms. Caius's house an unsafe environment in this 'moment of tragedy'" Bella laughed bitterly. "The bitch didn't know tragedy like I knew tragedy, but either way I was getting out. And I told Athenodora as much.

"I told her that when I was gone, I'd forget all about her and she couldn't hurt me anymore. I told her that she'll never mean anything to anybody and when she died, she'd die sad and alone, with no one to miss her. That was when she beat me almost fatally and took a blade to my back, carving in her name with a crazed look in her eyes. 'You'll never forget me now.' She kept repeating it. 'You'll never forget me now.' The social worker found me bleeding on the kitchen floor, barely able to breathe. It was in the hospital that I met Charlie and Renee, they were looking to adopt a child and when they laid their eyes on me, they saw their deceased daughter, Angela. They said I looked just like her…

"Sometimes I feel like they want me to replace her and I just…I keep disappointing them. They gave me this new life. They never hurt me. They fed me, they clothed me and they were patient with me, never asking for anything I wasn't willing to tell them. They love me and I keep disappointing them. All they want is for me to call them mom and dad…but I can't be Angela. I once heard Renee wake from a nightmare. I sat outside her bedroom door and listened to her cry into Charlie's shoulder mumbling, 'Angie' over and over again. I'd give anything to be Angie, but I just can't. I just can't."

Bella was silent for a long time. She placed her forehead on my shoulder and tried desperately to regulate her breathing. She lifted her head and suddenly became defensive.

"That's who I am, take it or leave it" she mumbled suddenly realizing how vulnerable she had become. I turned around until I was sitting on my knees and held her face in my hands. I waited until she looked into my eyes before I spoke.

"I want it. I want all of it. Thank you." Bella nodded and let me kiss her lips softly.

"You didn't have to tell me this all at once, Bella." I said quietly.

"Yes, I did. That's what you do with someone you love." The determination was back in her eyes and she didn't give me time to respond. "You lay yourself on the table and you pray that they still find you beautiful, scars and all."

I couldn't take my eyes off of Bella, her hazel eyes no longer clouded with the dark memories of her past, her pink lips gently quirking upwards into a smile and I briefly remembered the photo of Bella's father, how his easy smile seemed to be only for Esme. In that moment, Bella shared her father's smile and it was only for me.

I leaned into Bella, my eyes growing heavy as my lips inched closer and closer to hers until finally they met in a passionate kiss.

All too quickly, Bella pulled away and found my eyes. She smiled adoringly at my frown and gently stroked the wrinkles from my forehead. "Alice I don't care if you don't feel the same way, I can wait for you for as long as you need but I need to tell you that I'm in love you."

I probably should have said it back. I probably should have opened my heart and told her that I fell in love with her a long time ago. I probably should have told her that I might have fallen in love with her the day I met her, but I didn't. Instead, my swollen heart, my raging hormones, the butterflies in my stomach and the scorching heat between my legs forced me to shut my mouth and tug her upstairs, through the empty house and into my room. There, our lips met once more and like every time before, passion flared between us. But this time when I clutched Bella's neck and inhaled her scent as our tongue's mingled, her hands moved slowly to firmly grasp my ass.

I gasped and Bella froze. I felt her starting to pull away so I held tighter to her body and moaned softly into her ear. "Please, don't stop." And that was all it took to put her back in motion.

She expertly removed her shirt and then mines, our lips parting only when the time came to move the fabric over our heads before being thrown blindly and swallowed by the darkness. As Bella backed me into the wall, I reached down to unbuckle my jeans, kicking my shoes off as I pushed them down my hips along with my embarrassingly average panties.

Bella reached up as I freed the lower half of my body and unclasped my bra, flinging it at the floor and I returned the favor as she kicked off her own jeans and briefs. I almost didn't realize that we were both naked. This reality rushed into my head when Bella returned to me, pressing her warm, slender body against mine and gently prodding my mouth with her tongue.

I wanted to tell her how good it felt to have her hard nipples rubbing against mine, to feel her warm torso pressing against mine, and her muscular thighs settling between mine, but I couldn't utter a word. When Bella moved her hands from the wall to my body, tracing every curve and outline, worshipping my shape, all the air rushed out of my lungs and immediately filled my head.

Satisfied with her reverent worshipping, Bella's hands found my arms and pushed them upwards, slowly, over my head. She held them both in one of her strong hands and the other reached down around the back of my knee and hitched my thigh onto her hip. Her lips – never leaving my skin – trailed down my jaw, up to the hollow beneath my ear and down my neck to my shoulder where her tongue darted out to lick a small circle on the skin there before she pulled it into her mouth gently. I tried to suppress my moan, but it was no use fighting it.

Bella took this as a sign to continue her handiwork, her mouth moving across my collar bone and then plunging down to kiss between my breasts. Almost as if realizing where she was, Bella pulled back to stare hungrily at my chest, making me incredibly self conscious.

"I know it's not much" I started, wiggling uncomfortably. However, Bella never let me finish that sentence. She glanced up at me, almost angry that I felt that way about my body, and then she taught me a lesson by pulling my nipple into her mouth and sucking me until I was afraid that it would fall off. She then pulled away and placed a chaste kiss to it before turning to my other nipple and giving it the royal treatment as well.

When she finished with that, Bella snaked up my body and thrust her hips into mine, eliciting another moan from me.

"Bella" I whispered shyly. She stopped grinding our hips and looked into my eyes curiously.

"I – I've never done this before" I mumbled, embarrassed.

Quickly, Bella released my hands and shifted so my thigh slid from her hips.

"Shit" she mumbled, staring at the floor and running her hands through her hair. "I'm sorry. You must think I'm attacking you." And there she went, falling into her old habits and second guessing herself. I reached out and wrapped my arms around Bella's waist, pulling her to me until I could feel her warmth against my heated body.

"I want you, Bella. I want you to teach me." And this time, I reached down to grab Bella's tight, round butt. She closed her eyes and let her head fall forward. I lifted myself onto my toes and kissed her neck sweetly, mimicking the way her lips adored my skin.

Suddenly, Bella took control again, grabbing my hips and lifting me up effortlessly until my legs were wrapped around her waist. She walked us carefully to my bed and laid me down gently, as if I would break at any sudden movement. And then, Bella climbed onto the bed, chasing me up into the pillows before hovering over me protectively. Her eyes raked over my naked body lying beneath her and even in the dimly lit room, I could see the smile spread across her lips.

She returned her gaze to mine and let her weight rest on top of me. This time, when she kissed, licked and sucked along my body, she didn't stop at my heaving breasts. She satisfied them once more before sliding down my torso to my thighs which she gently spread apart to reveal my throbbing vagina. Bella kissed the skin above it and then locked her eyes with mine before delving into my heated core.

Bella started off slow, gently licking my clitoris and pulling it into her mouth. She traced my center with her tongue before thrusting it into my vagina and pulling it back out. She repeated this action, her speed increasing with the volume of my moans and just when I thought I couldn't take anymore, Bella returned to my clitoris, letting my body calm down.

I could feel Bella's hair spread out across my thighs and I looked down to see her engulfed in her actions, focusing solely on bringing me the greatest pleasure I've ever experienced. I reached down and pushed my fingers through her mahogany hair making her exhale sharply against me.

It was then that I felt her fingers inching up my thigh and replacing her tongue on my clitoris. She rubbed it with her thumb until my back arched and my moans wedged in my throat. They released in a loud groan when Bella pushed a long finger inside of me, he tongue returning to my clit as she entered a second finger and moved them in and out of me.

"Faster" I moaned into the ever darkening room and Bella obliged as time raced on around us. Bella inserted a third finger and bit down on my clitoris as I screamed out a guttural groan. She pushed her fingers inside of me as far as they could go and curled them upwards.

"Bella!" The moan came out before I could think about it, but I didn't have it in me to feel embarrassed. I wanted Bella to pleasure me more, and even without my order, she complied.

Her thrusting fingers brought me to the edge and with a final bite to my swollen center, she pushed me over. Bella never stilled inside of me, even as the orgasm shot through my body. Only when my breathing returned to normal did she pull out her magic fingers and lick them clean before placing a sweet kiss to my vagina and finally my shoulder before rolling over to lie beside me.

I rolled until I was lying on top of her and I sucked the skin of her neck into my mouth, relishing in the feel of her hands kneading my ass. I started to slide down her body when she stopped me.

"Tonight is all about you" she whispered to me before kissing my lips softly.

"But what about you?" I asked. I wanted to make her feel the way she made me feel just moments ago.

"I'll have my day" she grinned and wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. But I was stubborn, I wanted tonight to be _our_ night and I made that known when I straddled her thigh, pressing mine into her, surprised at how wet she was. There was no way I was going to let her fall asleep without being satisfied.

I moved my body against her thigh and returned the pressure each time she pressed up into me. When she closed her eyes and graced me with a quiet moan, I felt more determined than ever to pleasure her, to make her scream my name – and she did eventually, right before she rode me to her sweet climax.

With the covers pulled around us, Bella fell asleep holding me to her body, but I couldn't sleep with everything I now knew about Bella's past. I wanted to help her in some way, so after checking to make sure she was lost in slumber, I reached for my cell phone on the nightstand and made an important phone call with Angela Swan on my mind.

**A/n: Well I know this has taken quite a while but I promised I wouldn't abandon this story. I'm glad you guys care enough to send me PMs and reviews ordering me to update. I hope you'll enjoy (:**

**xoxo ~ Karma.**

**Oh, and I'm about 2 months late on this, but who had the most brownie points for August?**


	16. Chapter 16

"_You never find yourself until you face the truth"_

**Trapped**

**Sixteen**

My dream began with incomprehensive mumblings…

"_Sorry"_

"_Tragic"_

"_The best"_

"_Your loss…"_

"_Help you?"_

"_Poor child"_

…that gradually made sense…

"…_the best we could…"_

"…_we were too late…"_

"_Lucky you, he bravely…"_

"_saved" _

"_your"_

"_life…"_

And then, like a movie, it re-winded and took me back to the beginning…

I avoided counting the raindrops like I always did – I was too old for that. Instead, I forced myself from tradition and focused instead on my father's index finger steadily tapping the steering wheel to the rhythm of an old blues band. I watched the blonde hair bounce across his forehead and his lips curl into a grin whenever he noticed my staring.

"What are you looking at, little one?" he said.

I would stick out my tongue and turn my head, pretending not to care because big girls weren't supposed to. Big girls ignored their parents and did whatever they felt like doing, and I was – no matter what my father said – a big girl.

"Dad, can I change the station now?" I asked, my fingers inching towards the dial.

"No" and he smiled a triumphant smile.

"But, why?" He raised a blonde brow at my whining and I ceased it immediately.

"Don't you love this song?" He asked me.

"No" I lied, stifling another whine, but he saw right through me like he always did and started to sing.

"_You look like an angel…"_

"_Walk like an angel…"_

"_Talk like an angel…but I got wise…"_

And with his signature grin and mock Elvis voice, he looked at me and finished…

"_You're the devil in disguise."_

And he'd sing it until I forgot my age and laughed like the little girl he wanted me to be.

"That was your mother's favorite song, you know" he said when the joy of listening to my laughter sobered.

I listened to him carefully, hanging onto every word, trying desperately to learn anything I could about the mother whose life I'd taken.

"Will you tell me how you met?" I asked.

I always asked. And he always told.

But this time he never did.

He left me – his mind travelling far away to a time before his dead wife and motherless child. The warmth in his eyes followed on its heels.

When he came back to Earth – to the driver's seat beside me – horns were blaring and metal was tearing and bending, burning and fusing together as they had been once upon a time. And the sounds in my ears were out of place, shifting between the screams and Elvis on the radio. And my chest ripped with pain as my father's arm slammed into it, saving me from my sudden death.

And then I was in the hospital and plastic nurses were talking to me, smiling down at me with their lying eyes masking pity. And they said…

"You poor child, you've been in a tragic accident. We did the best we could, we're so sorry for your loss. Is there any way we can we help you?"

Stubborn as I was, I said, "I'm not a child. I'm a big girl, just ask my daddy."

And their eyes stopped lying to me.

"We did the best we could, but we were too late. Lucky you, your father bravely gave up his own and saved your life."

It was there in the hospital bed, crowded by synthetic smiles that I had the strangest thought.

I should have counted those damned raindrops.

* * *

I awoke suddenly – lids opened, eyes boring into the ceiling – and I felt my hair sticking to my forehead, a thin sheen of sweat being the glue holding the two together. My only comfort was the beautiful creature lying naked and half sprawled across my body. I wrapped my arm tighter around the girl's body and ran my free hand through her hair. We stayed like that – her fast asleep and me loving her silently – for almost an hour when she finally graced me with the brown eyes I'd grown to adore.

"How long have you been up?" she mumbled groggily.

"Not long" I lied knowing she'd feel guilty for keeping me from breakfast, but the truth was I'd rather starve than leave her side. "Go shower, I'll have breakfast ready when you're done" I smiled and found it hard to keep my eyes off her naked behind as she walked away from me.

Throughout breakfast, Alice seemed eager and nervous all at once, but when I confronted her, she refused to acknowledge it and all but shoved me out the door with a quick kiss and a pat on the butt. Worried I'd done something wrong the night before, I drove home contemplating ways to make it up to her.

I walked through the door with my head down and my brows furrowed, oblivious to my parents waiting for me in the kitchen.

"Bella? Can you come here for a moment?" Renee called to me.

I walked through the house with an unfocused brain until I looked up and saw Renee's eyes tinted a soft pink.

"What's wrong?" I asked as she wiped away another tear.

"We should probably talk," but it was Charlie who spoke for his wife. At his words, Renee took a seat and I leaned against the kitchen island.

"Bella, Alice called us last night. Why didn't you tell us you felt that way?" Renee blurted out.

"Felt…what way?"

"Bella" Charlie sighed, running a hand across his forehead. "When Angie died, we were devastated. Our only child was lost and sure we wanted her back desperately, but without her in the house, we felt so alone. We needed a child and when we saw you lying there, broken, in that hospital bed, you looked so much like her-"

"We didn't want to replace Angela. We couldn't, she was our baby girl" Renee sighed. "We wanted you to be our child partly because you reminded us of her, but mostly because you could have been the sister she always wanted. The sister we were too late to give her."

I stared at the two of them as they watched me with sad eyes and broken hearts.

"Alice told you this?" I asked weakly.

Renee nodded. "She's worried about you. All she wants is for you to be happy and if we've made you feel uncomfortable we're sorry."

"We know you're not Angie, sweetheart" Charlie added. "You're Bella and we love Bella just as we love Angela."

"Can you forgive us?" Renee asked, trying to contain her tears.

Throwing caution to the wind, I walked up to her and wrapped my arms around my mother and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. "Only if you forgive me" I whispered into her ear. She whimpered softly and nodded against my shoulder before releasing me hesitantly.

Charlie, being a less affectionate man simply squeezed my shoulder and nodded his understanding of our silent affection. Walking up the stairs to my room, I briefly wondered if my parents put Charlie and Renee in my life on purpose.

Once in my room, I headed straight for the green shoe box beneath my bed. Sitting on the floor with my legs crossed, I pulled it into my lap and opened it. I stared down at my most prized possessions and reached in to pick up the silver watch that used to jewel my father's wrist. With my other hand I picked up my mother's engagement ring and read the inscription that I'd memorized so long ago.

"_In a world of sorrow, I have found love."_

I whispered the words into the emptiness of my room and rolled my eyes at my father's charming ways.

Replacing the items, I picked up the necklace Margot gave to me and held it tightly in my fist. On the verge of tears, I quickly put it back in the box and called the one person that could cheer me up.

"Hi, Bella" she greeted with a smile in her voice.

"Alice" I sighed. Her name alone was comfort enough.

"Are you mad at me?" She asked nervously.

I smiled into the phone and shook my head. She – being the drama queen she was – mistook my silence for the worst and began rambling an apology.

"Thank you" I said, silencing her at last.

"So…you're not mad then?"

"No," I chuckled. "Not at all."

"Well then…you're welcome."

As she laughed, I reached into the box and picked up a picture of my life – Alice McCarty.

**A/n: So...this took a while to get out and I apologize, but I haven't given up on it just yet. I hope you haven't given up on me. **


	17. Chapter 17

"_The truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end; there it is."_

**Trapped**

**Seventeen**

Rosie once told me that fairytales didn't exist. "If you want to live happily ever after, sweetheart you got to work for it", she said. At the time I thought it to be silly. Of course fairytales didn't exist, I knew that already. If fairytales did exist, my mother would be where I needed her – here with me. If fairytales did exist, my brother wouldn't be forced to replace an absent father. If fairytales existed my family wouldn't consist of a group of teenagers shoved under one roof, all trying to grow into someone respectable. We wouldn't be struggling to find a way.

Back then I was concerned with one thing and one thing only – fashion. My pencil and sewing machine were the most important things on my mind. But when Bella entered the picture, life for me changed. It shifted until she suddenly became my priority. The thought ran through my mind when I sat on the bleachers of the Seattle Rec. Center and watched Bella run around the basketball court.

"Just bend your knees a little" she directed, nudging a tall, dark skinned boy in the arm.

"I _am_ bending them" he replied, frustrated.

"Just relax. You're thinking about it way too hard."

The boy did as he was told, bending his knees with his head tilted back, long dreadlocks straining against their confinement. Two breaths he took before he threw the ball, sending it flying into the worn net.

"See? That's what I'm talking about" Bella smiled clapping the boy on the shoulder. "Take a break and then run some laps" she ordered before swaggering my way and standing between my legs.

"So, this is where you work" I commented offhandedly. "Do you coach or something…?"

"Or something", Bella shrugged. "I'm basically a mentor. I help the kids in sports, school, whatever…" She took a second to look around the court. "I kind of like it" she grinned.

The thought ran through my mind two weeks later when Emmett dragged us to the Olympic County Fair and Bella won me a giant stuffed Kenny from South Park.

"Which one?" she whispered into my ear.

"That one" I said, pointing to my favorite cartoon character.

Bella laughed under her breath and murmured, "Of course."

One the way home, I was dragging Kenny behind me.

The thought ran through my mind during the first official rehearsal of Grease.

Bella sat at the foot of the stage glancing at the piano with her fingers twitching every other second as if she was forcing herself away from the ivory keys. She glanced up suddenly and smirked at me before winking and walking to the back of the auditorium – away from the piano.

The thought ran through my mind when I sat at lunch and looked around the table, noticing that Bella's friends had become my friends as well.

The thought ran through my mind once more this Sunday morning when everything in my world crashed and burned.

"I'm not saying the Miz is better than the Rock…" Emmett was rambling.

"Then what _are_ you saying?" Bella seemed offended. Jasper was clearly taking her side.

"I just respect him more! I mean, at least he stuck around while Dwaynie boy was out making his little fairy videos."

Silence.

"_DUDE!_" Bella gasped.

"Low blow, man. _Low _blow." Jasper shook his head. Rosalie and I walked ahead of them as they proceeded handing my brother his ass.

I kicked off my shoes at the entrance, tucked my keys into my bag and dropped my bag on a stool in the kitchen. I grabbed a bag of Doritos for the five of us to share and headed into the living room. Everybody stood there, frozen at the living room's entrance staring at something I couldn't see over their huge shoulders. As I tried to push through them, I heard her voice.

"Where is Alice?" she asked softly. Her voice was silk. I remembered the sound as a child and over the years, it managed to remain the same. The fine fabric miraculously hadn't aged. Perhaps it was the lack of the hassle of caring for children. I pushed through harder but suddenly Emmett was standing in front of me.

"She's not home yet" he lied, shoving me backwards into the arms of Jasper and Rosalie who expertly concealed me. I wanted to say something, speak up, but the strength in which Rosalie squeezed my hand kept me silent.

"I know you're lying. You'd never leave her anywhere without someone you trust." Silk. Pure silk.

"She's with Edward." Ice.

"You're hiding her." Silk.

"What reason would I have to hide my sister from you?" Ice.

"That's exactly what I'm wondering. After all, I am her mother." Fine silk.

"Is that what you've convinced yourself? That you're our mother?" Stone.

"I never said I was yours, Emmett. But my daughter still loves me." There was a slight error in the flow of the silk.

"Foolishly." Lava. Lava seeping out of every pore. Lava doubtlessly boiling in his eyes.

"Step aside, Emmett."

"Make me, _mother_." The word was a joke. A sarcastic insult of the worst kind. And then I recognized the large hands that wrapped around my brother's shoulders. They were the same hands that used to wrap around mine and help me into my car seat before we drove to the park. They were daddy's hands. I almost called for him before Emmett's body was pushed from in front of me and I was looking into his wrinkly face with old, brown eyes that reminded me of mud. He was worn out. He didn't look like daddy anymore.

"There's my baby girl" she smiled and opened her arms for me. "Come give mommy a hug." She demanded through the silk. I looked at Emmett who was scowling at her and Jasper who was scowling at daddy. I looked at Bella who was watching me closely and Rosalie who still held my hand firmly in hers.

"Come on now, don't keep mommy waiting."

I stepped forward slowly and put myself awkwardly between my mother's arms.

"Now why were you hiding from mommy, huh? Don't you know it's bad to do that?" I nodded against her and lifted my arms slowly to wrap around her waist. I wanted to push her away, but when she held me, she was my mother again. She was really there and not just a memory that comes and goes.

"Now, come sit and let's get reacquainted." She held my hand and pulled me down to sit beside her on the couch, my bag of Doritos thrown to the side. Rosalie stepped forward as if to sit beside me, but Emmett grasped her hand and quickly pulled her out of the living room. Minutes later, I heard his heavy footsteps treading up the stairs followed by her dainty ones. Jasper and Bella stood in the doorway behaving as bodyguards.

"How is school, dear?" The silk drew me in again and I looked at her face. She wasn't like daddy, she'd aged like wine. Actually, it appeared as if she hadn't aged at all. I looked for wrinkles around her eyes or inevitable laugh lines. But then again the woman barely even smiled unless it was meant for me.

"It's fine." I replied, watching her eyes as she blinked. The brown in them was flat though she smiled at me. I wondered if she really cared or if this was a pretense.

"And your grades are good?" Silk, accompanied by a blink.

"Yes, ma'am."

"What's your average, dear?" Silk. Blink.

"95.29."

"Hm…" Blink.

"And how about you, Jasper?" She turns, acknowledges our guest for the first time.

"School is good" is his reply. It's almost stone, like Emmett. But it's a softer, less threatening stone. It's a rock, while Emmett's was a boulder.

"Good, good." She flips her black hair. And for a second I think I remember her lying in bed with me and reading me bedtime stories while I tangled my tiny fingers in her hair. But soon, I realize I'm daydreaming and not remembering. It was always daddy who loved us. But he loved mommy more, so he followed her everywhere.

"And who is this _charming_ young lady, Alice?" She's looking at Bella now. She's observing her tight pony-tail, the sunglasses I bought her, the almost boyish way she dresses. She watched the black Converse on her feet, waiting for them to shift uncomfortably. I watched irritation flicker in her eyes when they didn't. She didn't like her. And Bella wasn't too fond of my mother either.

"That's Bella, mom."

"Bella? As in, Isabella?"

"No, mom, Bella as in Bell–"

"Miss Isabella, what is your last name?"

"Swan" she replied, holding back a flinch.

"Pleased to make your acquaintance Miss Swan. Are you best friends with my daughter? I've been meaning to get her a female best friend." Jasper shook his head. After a few seconds of silence, he turned and left the room.

"Mom, Bella is my girlfriend." Even I barely heard my voice. Bella moved suddenly and came to stand behind me. She put her hands on my shoulders and I relaxed.

"You mean…?" The silk was fading. I nodded and felt Bella squeeze my shoulders gently.

"Blasphemy!" she shouted, rising from her seat on the couch. "You mean to tell me my daughter, _my _child, is a filthy _lesbian_?"

"Mom!" I gasped.

"Don't you _dare_ 'mom' me!" The silk was almost completely gone now, wrapped entirely around sharpened wires that sliced through the fabric piece by piece.

"I come home, wanting to see my baby girl and you tell me that you're _gay_? That you're some dyke's _whore_ now?" Slice.

"If this is your rebellion of my leaving, then stop it now, Alice, because it is absolutely _not_ funny." Slice.

"You should be ashamed of yourself! Bringing this, this…_scoundrel_ into _my_ house and doing God knows what!" Slice.

"What have you been doing, Alice? Exactly how thoroughly have you tarnished the family's name?" Slice.

"I haven't tarnished anything, mother." I protested.

"So you believe this is all just fine and dandy then, huh? That no one will look at our family differently?" Slice, slice.

"Answer me, Alice." Silence engulfs the room.

"I'm going to pick up some milk to make your favorite pancakes. When I come home, your selfish catastrophe better be undone."

She walks out of the room into the hallway. Daddy trails behind her wordlessly.

"Daddy, wait!" I follow him all the way to the door where he looks at me for a while, then shoves me out of the way and shuts the door.

When I turn around, Bella is sitting at the foot of the stairs, watching me.

"That was harsh", she said.

I walk towards her and stop short so that I'm halfway between her and the door.

"So how are we supposed to get through this one?"

"I don't know" I mumble.

"There has to be some way" she says and she furrows her eyebrows. I can tell she's trying to find a solution to our problem but I honestly don't believe there is one. I don't know how to tell her.

"We could tell her the truth that we love each other and force her to deal with it."

"No" I shake my head. "It won't work." Bella blinks. She knows I won't stand up to my mother. She lets me decline all of her offers for a while until the inevitable approaches.

"Okay…how about we hide our relationship until she leaves again?" I can tell it's her final offer.

"No, Bella" I sigh.

It's silent for a while and Bella rises from her seat on the steps.

"Then what, Alice. What is our solution?" She looks at me seriously.

"There is none." I stare at the polished, hardwood floor as I say it.

"Why not?" Her tone is sharp, clipped.

"Come on, Bella. You know she's right. You know we can't go on pretending like everything we're doing is right."

"Is it wrong, Alice? Do you believe what we have here is wrong?"

"Yes."

"Why?" Her voice raises and I'm momentarily afraid of her. "Because your mother says so?"

"No! It's wrong because it is!"

"That's bullshit and you know it." She spits it through her teeth. "You've never felt this way with anyone but me and as soon as mommy dearest comes strolling into your life you throw it all away? Why does her opinion matter?"

"Because she's my _mother_, Bella!"

"And that makes it all better, huh? A title she doesn't deserve?"

I don't answer.

"Are you going to let her call me filthy? Call _you _a whore?" Her hands are clenched into fists.

"I am not a whore."

"_I_ never said you were." Her voice has lowered again and I easily find the hidden message in her words. She'd never hurt me in such a way. It was my mother who did the damage.

I can't take the pregnant silence. Bella stifles it as she reaches up for her glasses. "No", I want to plead. I know she can see it in my eyes but that's not enough, I need to say it.

I don't.

She waits for me, but the words never come out. Finally, she covers her eyes with the glasses and returns her hands to her side – fists still clenched.

Her jaw sets into stone and her lips squeeze into a tight line. Even her eyebrows seem to have gone flat and her red, enraged skin has lost all its color. She's once again as pale as the day I met her. And mimicking her previous behavior, she turns a cold shoulder and walks past me. My hand twitches in her direction. I reach for her but she's too far. All I can do is swivel on my heels and watch her walk out the door. And as I watch the love of my life walk away from me, she's no longer my Bella. She's traveled further back in time with each agonizing step and she's morphed into the strange, unknown new girl from my English class. I want to whisper her name, call her back to me, beg for forgiveness, but she's already out the door and I can hear her truck screeching onto the road.

I don't know how long I stand there, watching the door, but soon it opens and the blinding sun from outside brings me back to reality. My mother walks through the opening and daddy is carrying a brown bag stuffed with groceries.

"Have you dealt with the problem?" she asks.

I nod and turn towards the steps. There, I can see the outlines of Jasper, Rosie and Emmett. I know they're watching me with sad expressions, but I can't see them clearly. They're blurred by unshed tears.

My face starts to burn and I feel like a masochist. I want it to burn. I don't want to see the face that betrayed not only her own heart, but her true lover. I hurry past them and into my room, quickly locking the door. I don't sink to the floor like I'm supposed to in the time of heartache. I don't whisper her name the way I want to.

I tremble.

I tremble and I cry and my insides hurt and burn at the same time.

My heart is pounding and for the first time my heart and mind are in agreement.

"What have you done?'" They're asking me.

"What have you done?"


	18. Chapter 18

"_Words can make a deeper scar than silence can heal"_

**Trapped**

**Eighteen**

The next day I wake up alone. My brother is nowhere to be found and neither is Jasper or Rosalie. My eyes are met with Kenny staring back at me through his orange sweatshirt. I have a staring contest with him, but he wins.

Feeling even more like a loser I force myself out of bed and into the bathroom where I shower and brush my teeth. I wipe a bit of the fog from my mirror and there I catch my first glimpse of the aftermath. My eyes are red and swollen from waking up, but it seems as if it is an omen for how the rest of my day will be spent. There are dark circles under my eyes in result of my restless slumber. I continuously tossed and turned trying to shake the image of Bella walking away from me. At 4 AM I finally fell asleep. My hair is a wet, tangled mess that I quickly run my fingers through. I move my hand to my eyebrows and try to tame them before I think…what's the point?

I walk out of the bathroom, back into my room and search for clothes to wear. I pick out a fairly nice outfit and then look back into my dresser at the sweatpants that promise comfort. They're halfway on my body before I rip them off and collapse onto my bed thinking "What the hell is wrong with you Alice? Stop being so damn pathetic!" I blink a few times so the tears at the corner of my eyes won't spill and then I get up, put the outfit on and go downstairs. It's almost completely silent when I enter – head bowed. I grab some toast and eat it silently by the toaster while listening to my mother conversing.

"So, Rosaline do you have a boyfriend? A lady as lovely as yourself should have a boyfriend to spoil you."

"Um, yes. I do have a boyfriend, actually."

"Oh that's marvelous! He's a very lucky man you know? How is he? Is he well mannered like your brother? Or is her more like my son?" The last part is uttered in distaste. I don't hear Rosalie's answer. I'm finished with my breakfast and I'm heading towards the door. My mother catches me before I leave.

"Oh, Alice?"

I turn towards her voice – never looking up.

"I forgive you dear."

My head shoots up and I look into my mother's eyes. She believes she's done me a favor. I spin on my heels and speed walk towards the door.

"I'll see you tonight! Don't be late for dinner!" she calls behind me. The words reach my ears just before I slam the door shut behind me.

Outside, the air enters my lungs and I hold it in until I feel like I'll pass out. When I finally do exhale, for a moment all of my problems have left me with it, and then Jasper is holding my door open and my demons have crowded around me once more.

My heart is pounding when we get to school and pull into the parking spot next to Bella's.

"Can't we go somewhere else?" I beg Jasper.

"We'll be late if we park on the other side" he replies. He reaches over and squeezes my hand before exiting the car. I follow him timidly and when I see that Bella is nowhere near her car, I breathe easy and enter the school.

I can't look at her.

I can't look at any of them, actually. I can't stand to look into the faces of my family, or Bella's friends. I avoid everyone until I feel totally, and completely alone.

The seconds tick by and each minuscule sound resonates throughout my mind that can't seem to think of anything besides Bella; her laugh, her voice, her walk, her honesty, her selfless love…for me. An elongated bell startles me from my seat and I pack my bag and drag my feet to the next class. Somewhere along the hallway, Bella is there leaning against a locker and talking to Seth and Jane. I spot her long hair pulled into that infamous ponytail. I look away the moment she turns her head, but the last thing I realize before I'm staring at puke green hallway tiles are the sunglasses she's wearing, or rather the fact that I didn't by them for her.

She's looking at me, I can tell. I walk past her and realize they aren't talking anymore. I feel a chill race up and down my spine until I turn the corner and reach my locker where I'm safe from her gaze. I wonder if her gaze is angry, or sad. But I know it's empty because I left her that way; a shell – a broken, tortured shell. If I could just take it all back…

I stop there. I made my decision, now it's time for me to move on. One day I'll find a nice, charming young man to take me to prom and help me pack up my things to go to college and maybe even ask me to marry him. One day we'll have that nuptial ceremony and then we'll start a family in California where I'm a big time fashion designer and he's a…whatever he is, and our children are always in our lives.

But I'm daydreaming now. And not only am I daydreaming, I'm convincing myself that my daydream is what I truly desire, but it's a lie. I desire Bella. _Always._ It's her I want to run away to California with. It's her I want to wake up to in the morning and whisper _"I love you"_ because I do love her. But loving her is wrong.

My mind is split in two now. Half of it agrees with my heart, telling me "you love her".

The other half is stubborn. It's shouting "wrong!" – screaming it at every open opportunity.

"You love her!"

"It's wrong!"

"You love her!"

"It…is…wrong!"

"You _love_ her!"

"It's _wrong!"_

The bell for lunch scares me and I realize I'm staring into my locker blankly. I look around myself and see that I'm alone in the hallway, engulfed by gray lockers, tiled walls, puke green floors and silence.

I close my locker and turn the corner, heading towards the cafeteria. The minute the doors open I feel as though everyone already knows the news, and I know they do. Our school is a small one and the minute Bella and I start ignoring each other publicly, word gets around. My family is sitting at our usual table, Bella's friends are not. They're sitting at their own table along with Bella. I watch her while I'm on the line to buy food and let myself miss her all the while wondering why I feel so deeply about such a short relationship. Suddenly, she turns and catches my eye. I almost cringe at the sight of her. Not only are her eyes are drained of life, but her whole being seems to be the same. She blinks once…twice…three times and then without warning she rises from her seat and walks quickly out of the room. I can't handle the pain of watching her walk away from me twice but I caused this, so I deserved it. I grab my tray of food and amble quietly to my seat.

They're staring at me, I can feel it. I try to ignore it as I push my food around my tray. Rosalie is the first to speak.

"So you're just going to let her go, then? Just like that?"

After a while, I nod.

"Why?" she asks, almost sounding disgusted.

"Because…" I can't finish that sentence.

"I thought so" she mumbles.

"Ali you can't –" Emmett starts, but I don't let him finish.

"Don't tell me what I can't do!" I growl it at him. "I made a decision!"

"It was the _wrong_ decision" he growls back, unfazed.

"What right do you have…?" I mumble angrily.

"The same right you freely gave to mom." The words are daggers sent straight through my heart.

At some point those daggers spread throughout my body, piercing every part of me that believes loving a woman is wrong and the utter feeling of failure and remorse overwhelms me. Emmett knows when the feeling hits me because the anger drains from his eyes and he leans back in his seat.

"Finally" he mutters to himself.

The sadness I've suppressed comes bubbling to the surface and I quickly run to the bathroom and splash cold water on my face. When I look up into the mirror, I'm a girl who's finally realized the whole of what she's done and I'm finally starting to feel true anguish.

The bell rings again and I'm off to English. Bella is standing behind my seat and the sight alone makes me want to hug my knees to my chest and cry. The minute Victoria is gone though, she moves to her seat beside mine and stares out the window for the remainder of the period. I contemplate millions of scenarios where I could try to fix things between us and get my lover back, but in my head they all fail. Then suddenly an old quote repeated itself in my mind:

"_You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith."_

And before I have the chance to act on that, the irritating bell rings again and Bella has vanished from the room and I'm forced to watch her walk away for a third time.

By the day's end, the boys are all at football practice and though I should go to the field and wait for them to be done I'm not in the mood. I walk into the parking lot just in time to see Bella pull onto the road. I watch her car until it can no longer be seen and then still I stare at the empty space where she was. I'm reminiscing on our time spent together and worrying about our future all at once when a voice startles me.

"Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you Alice." It's James and he's looking at me with worried eyes. I can tell he still loves me regardless of who I chose to love and I suddenly wonder why my mother can't be the same way.

"No, it's okay. I was just thinking." I shrug his apology off.

"Um…are you okay?" he asks the question awkwardly and with a hand on my shoulder. I blink at him and have nothing to say. I couldn't lie to him, so silence was my only option. He takes the hint and wraps me in a giant hug. The hug is over too quickly, though, and soon he's pulling away and looking at me again.

"Can I drive you home?" I nod slowly and blink at the sky, begging my tears to stay inside.

"Okay, Alice. It's okay." And with that, we're off.

He doesn't pressure me, which is one reason why we lasted as long as we did in the first place. We sit in his car and he turns on the radio so I don't feel obligated to talk to him. He beats his fingers against the steering wheel to the rhythm of the music and I find myself shifting in my seat, wishing it was the cool leather of Bella's Chevy beneath me. I stare at my hands and try to control my heartache by playing with the fabric of my schoolbag. When I look up, I see a taxi speeding away from the estate where I live.

"Where did that taxi just come from?" I ask, panicked. James furrows his brows in confusion.

"The estates…" he glances at me from the corner of his eyes.

"Did it come from my house?" I urgently demand.

"Um…I'm not sure…" he speaks softly, desperately trying to calm me with just his voice. I don't say another thing until we reach my house moments later. The minute the car stops, I'm flying out of it with my keys in hand and I'm scrambling to unlock the door. Once inside, I drop my bag and keys in a heap and head for the stairs, hearing James enter and close the door behind him.

"They couldn't" I think to myself. "They wouldn't do this."

I burst through my parents' door and find the bed made and empty.

"She said she'd see me tonight!" I'm thinking. "She wouldn't! She _couldn't_!"

I'm opening closets, tearing through dressers and looking underneath the bed for suitcases; each spot – empty.

"No, no, no, no, _no_."

I run into their bathroom searching for toothbrushes; any sign of life. Nothing.

"No!"

I stop and look around me, letting myself breathe for a moment before I finally go down into the kitchen, passing James who's standing patiently by the door.

The stove is spotless and the refrigerator is almost empty, along with the cupboards. On the kitchen counter lies a pen and a folded piece of hastily ripped paper.

I walk up to it cautiously as if it could attack me and in reality it can. I slowly unfold the paper and read my mother's elegant handwriting.

"_Alice dear, something came up."_


	19. Chapter 19

"_Now those memories come back to haunt me, they haunt me like a curse"_

**Trapped**

**Nineteen**

Have you ever been lost in a department store as a child? It starts off easy. First, you're running around, frolicking and playing without a care in the world. Your mother, your father, your grandmother, _that_ person calls for you – they shout your name over the crowd. You hear their voice. It's distant and muffled and it seems to fly over your head to reach another child's ears. Your turn around and around, ducking in and out of clothing racks looking for the shoes they put on this morning, the nice ones that you always wear at home so you can pretend to be just like them, but you can't find them anymore. "_They were right there_", you and _that_ person think to yourselves as you both start to panic. Now you're part of the crowd and you're terrified, thinking, _maybe this was a bad idea_. And it was. It _was_ a bad idea. You hobble over to a clothing rack and hide under the colorful rags, drawing your knees closer to your chest every time a pair of unfamiliar shoes passes by. And then there they are, those fancy shoes planted right in front of you. You hear that person's voice calling your name, looking for _you._ Just when you thought they'd stopped looking for you and left, there they are. You crawl out of hiding and cling to their leg and they pick you up and hold you to them tightly swearing to never _ever_ let you go again.

You're happy now, elated even. But that part hasn't come for me yet. I'm stuck staring at the passing shoes.

It's been a month and two weeks since the last time I've heard from my mother. The note she left me is on my bedside table, mocking me. I shift until I'm facing away from the offensive scribbling and roll myself into a ball with my sheets wrapped tightly around my shoulders wishing it was Bella wrapped around me instead of stuffy cotton.

Three knocks warned me of the presence of an intruder. It seemed these days that no one would let me sulk as long as I wanted to.

"Ali?" It was Jasper. When I didn't answer he knocked once more and called my name again. His words flew over my ears as I stared at the wall, unable to blink or move.

He entered the room slowly and sat on the bed beside me, resting his hand on my cotton covered arm.

"How are you doing?" he asked and I burst into tears. He pushed off the sheets and I immediately crawled into his arms despite the fact that they weren't Bella's.

"Talk to me, Ali. What's going on?" I chose that moment to look up and over his shoulder and caught Rosalie standing in the door with Emmett holding her. They both looked incredibly distraught. I looked back into Jasper's eyes and noticed the clear blue was tinted. It pained me to see them so sad and even worse was the knowledge that I had done this to them. I buried my face in his neck once more and cried, "I need Bella." Soon, three pairs of arms were wrapped around me.

The next thing I knew I was at school, wandering the hallways and going out of my way to search for Bella. She was everywhere, yet nowhere at all.

I knew she was at school, I saw her car parked in the parking lot. Every time I saw a girl with long brown hair, I almost ran to them before I looked down to notice a pair of flats or heels or boots. It was all so depressing, seeing her face everywhere but none of the faces being _hers_. I tried talking to Jacob, Seth or Brandon. I even went as far as to seek Jane and as her if she knew where Bella was but it was all to no avail.

By the time lunch rolled around I was desperate. I needed to speak to Bella and beg, grovel if necessary, for her forgiveness but she was nowhere to be found. Instead of heading to the cafeteria, I walked towards the parking lot and the picnic tables behind it that weaved in and out of the trees and on towards the cafeteria exit. I sat at one of the wooden benches and dropped my forehead to the table. I breathed deeply, inhaling the humid air and exhaling my share of carbon dioxide.

Within moments I heard someone strolling towards me. The person hesitated behind me before finally taking a seat. I knew it was James before he said a word. He was always very careful with me, treating me like a fragile porcelain doll. I didn't look up at him when he scooted closer and tucked me under his arm.

"I'm sorry, Alice" he whispered. I didn't understand what for, but instead of asking him, I remained silent.

"I'm sorry you're so sad all the time." I opened my eyes and stared at the table.

"I'm sorry your eyes aren't happy anymore. I'm sorry I never made your eyes that happy in the first place." I blinked and continued to stare at the wood beneath my head.

"I'm sorry your heart is broken and I'm sorry you're too scared to fix it." My heart lurched at his statement.

"I'm not too scared to do anything" I snapped, sitting up to glare at him. He didn't flinch – he just kept stroking my arm.

"Then why are you here sulking instead of chasing after her." He was speaking of Bella. I looked up and found a deep sadness in his eyes. It was my turn to apologize.

"I'm sorry-" I began. He shook his head and cut me off.

"I can't make you love me the way you love her. You _love_ her, Alice. And she loves you back. I wish more than anything that you loved me back instead of her. But you don't. And you don't need to apologize."

"But it would be so much easier if I loved you."

He looked me in the eyes and nodded solemnly, the sadness in his eyes swelling. "_If_ you loved me, yes it would."

We were silent for a while, both of us basking in our undesirable emotions until I turned to him again. "Do you think it's too late? Do you think she still loves me?"

"It's never too late, Alice." He squeezed me further into his side and I relaxed there, letting him comfort me, more for his sake than my own. He would always love me in some way, because I was his first. But he would grow and move on. He would find a new love and he'd be happier than I could ever make him, and _that_ comforted me more than his warmth.

Someone clearing their throat startled us. We looked over our shoulders to find Victoria standing behind us, fuming.

After shooting a glare at me, she smiled at James. "Baby," she cooed disgustingly. "Come on, let's go inside it's cold out here."

James turned back towards the trees and mumbled, "You go ahead, I'll be there soon." Victoria huffed.

"But…what about lunch. Aren't you hungry?" I could almost see her fake nails clawing desperately at straws.

"I'm not, but anyway I'll be inside soon." James replied.

"But I want you to come now, though" she pouted, stomping a disgracefully fake Prada heel against the pavement of the parking lot.

James turned around and looked incredulously at her foot before lifting his gaze to her face. She could have been pretty, with her mane of natural red hair. It was a pity her evilness blocked it all out.

"Victoria, go inside." It was an order that fell from James' lips and Victoria stumbled back, shocked. Even I was shocked, he never spoke to me in that tone. Victoria took two calculating steps back before turning around completely and stumbling – albeit furiously – away.

"I'm-" he started.

"Sorry." I finished for him and nodded. "It's okay." He chuckled lightly and held me until the bell rang.

I contemplated skipping English but I needed to see Bella. It turned out she decided not to show and that class like many before it was spent sulking.

I felt absolutely no need to attend rehearsal when the time came, but Jasper had football practice and James was in the show along with me. I had absolutely no way of getting home anyway. So I closed my locker and walked to the auditorium despite my temporary aversion to it.

As I approached, I could hear piano music flowing from the room and assumed Ms. Udienza was hard at work again – or maybe it was Mr. Gioco this time. I cautiously opened one blue auditorium door so I wouldn't disturb whoever was at the piano and I slid it shut behind me. When I turned around, I had to cover my mouth to hide the gasp that escaped.

Bella sat there playing furiously, her fingers flying across the keys with a speed never before seen and producing a melody so sweet it made my heart ache. The notes became harsh quickly and without warning and I took an involuntary step back into the door behind me, but then she paused on the final hurtful note and went back to sweetness. The song poured love and pain from every crevice and as she left the last note piercing the air, I moved forward cautiously.

"Bella" I choked on her name.

Her head whipped around to face me and she quickly gathered her things. I ran to catch up to her, hoping to stop her as she ran up the stairs and across the stage, exiting through the back and leaving me alone under the harsh, judgmental stage lights.

I turned towards the piano and walked towards it slowly, sitting where she had been and placing my fingers where hers had been. I pressed down on one note and forced my tears to stay in. I looked up and noticed a piece of sheet music Bella had left behind in her haste and I picked it up, reading the title.

_Alice_

I watched the penciled in notes rise and fall until Ms. Attore entered the auditorium followed by the other cast members.

"Alice! You're early! Great, okay let's run this from the top! Places, people!"

Students scurried around as Ms. Attore, along with the other staff members, took their seats before the stage, pen and paper in hand. I looked up and saw Bella resting her arms on the metal railing above the auditorium where the lights and sound crew were already set up.

I finally moved from the piano and walked backstage as Jane passed me to stand front and center.

"When you're ready" Ms. Attore called to her. "Cue music!"

"I'm going back to Australia; I might never see you again!" Jane said looking towards Garrett.

"Don't – Don't talk that way, Sandy" Garrett pleaded.

"But it's true" Jane nodded. "I've just had the best summer of my life and now I'll have to go away." She bowed her head sadly. "It isn't fair."

Garrett reached for her chin and lifted it, bringing her face to his lips and kissing her passionately. Across the room, I saw Seth shift uncomfortably in his seat as he made a great deal out of twirling his car keys.

Jane struggled out of Garrett's hold, "Danny, don't spoil it!" she pleaded.

"It's not spoiling it Sandy, it's only making it better!" He tried to explain, holding Jane by the waist. She lifted her hands to his shoulders and held him before looking into his eyes solemnly.

"Danny?" she asked. "Is this the end?" I peeked around the backstage curtains and looked up at Bella who hadn't moved and inch.

"Of course not" Garrett assured, a deep chuckle framing his words. "It's only the beginning." Bella glanced slightly to left and her eyes locked with mine.

Trumpets from the opening number moved me from my spot behind the curtain and all of the cast members strode on stage for the collective dance that replaced the opening credits from the beginning of the movie.

The show went on and I periodically check to make sure Bella hadn't left. I was planning on talking to her after rehearsal. My cue came again when it was time for the lunch scene.

I walked on stage with a girl named Alexis who played the role of Marty.

"Ba-ba-bum-bum…" we sang until we reach the semi-circle cafeteria table set up specifically for the scene. The girl playing Jan spoke her line and it was an easy back and forth until Victoria came from the shadows she was lurking in followed by Jane.

"Hey you guys!" she said forcing herself to speak kindly to me.

"Hey, Frenchy!" Alexis and I greeted in unison.

"This here –uh – is Sandy Olsson, and that's Jan and Marty…" she took her seat next to me, _accidentally_ stepping on my foot. I ignored the tinge of pain. "This here's Rizzo." She spat my character's name as if it were a fatal disease.

"She just moved here from Sydney, Australia" Victoria said to me, keeping her voice calm while shooting daggers at me with her eyes. I noticed Jane glance between us before listening for her cue from me.

"Oh, how are things down under?" I asked all the while ignoring Victoria's glaring entirely.

"Fine, thanks" Jane replied, pretending to be shy. Victoria, too busy filling her soul with hatred didn't hear her cue and paused for too long.

"Victoria?" Ms. Attore called from off stage. She snapped out of it and quickly apologized.

"That's alright, just take it from 'down under'." This time, the words left Victoria's mouth effortlessly and the five of us continued our lines until the stage hands sneaked out and rolled our lunch table to the right side of the stage while the boys were rolled onto the stage sitting on their bleachers.

Bella shifted the spotlight to the boys so from the audience it appeared as though we weren't there.

"Hey, any of you guys see the new chick in registration?" James asked the boys though he was leaning against the bleacher and looking at me. "Ohh…" he groaned, rolling his eyes to the back of his head. "She sure beats the foam domes around here." He glanced at Victoria and I covered my mouth to hold in my giggling.

"Her jugs bigger than Annette's?" One of the boys asked, doubtfully. James raised his eyebrows at me and laughed.

"_Nobody's_ jugs are bigger than Annette's." I knew he was talking about Heidi, whose middle name is Annette and besides Rosalie and Bella, she was the most developed girl in the school. I wanted to thank him for trying to make me laugh in my time of depression, but instead I giggled just loud enough for the girls at the table to hear. James saw me and smiled. Victoria saw the silent conversation going on between the two of us and stood abruptly from her seat, momentarily forgetting her surroundings.

"What the _fuck_ is going on here?" she screeched, grabbing at my collar with both hands. Bella immediately turned the spotlight to us and illuminated the situation we were in.

"Victoria!" Ms. Danza shouted. "Let Alice go!"

"No!" Victoria snarled. "Not until I figure out what the _hell_ is going on between her and my boyfriend.

"Um…" James cleared his throat from behind Victoria's shoulder. Apparently the boys had all rushed off of the bleacher in the hopes of extracting Victoria from my clothing. "I'm not your boyfriend."

"What?" she screeched. "I knew it! I _fucking_ knew it!" She turned to glare at me accusingly. I glared right back. "You two hooked up today didn't you?"

Now it was my turn to screech. "_What?_"

"No!" James said taking a tentative step forward.

"Then why were you holding her?"

"Because she was sad, Victoria! Come on, she's my friend!"

"She's more than that!" Victoria turned her glare on James now and he stepped forward again, nodding and holding his hands up in surrender.

"Yes, she is. She's the first person I've ever loved and that's special, but I know that we can only be friends."

"You're pathetic" Victoria spat, finally letting me go to turn around completely. "Wasting your love on this bitch. She doesn't even love you! But I do! Why don't you love me, too?" I almost felt bad for her.

"I don't know" James said honestly. "But that's no reason to take your anger out on Alice."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Victoria shouted. "That's _every_ reason to take my anger out on her! It's always Alice this, Alice that…well what about _me_?"

"Victoria" Ms. Attore warned.

"No!" She shouted back to her before turning to me with a devilish glint in her eyes.

"Everybody loves Alice, huh?" she cooed it eerily and snatched a fistful of my cropped hair.

"Alice is so perfect, and Alice is so pretty" she mocked me, picking at my clothes until I felt uncomfortable. "Alice _always_ dresses so nice."

"Well Alice is a pathetic little _whore_! And you know what, guys? I'm gonna tell you the truth about Alice McCarty."

She yanked my hair so I was crouched in front of her and we were facing our cast members who had gathered on stage.

"She's a fucking _dyke_! Yea, that's right! She likes pussy! Tons of it!"

I looked up to see James looking at me with pity in his eyes.

"Oh! And not only does she like pussy, she likes Bella Swan's pussy! But that's not the end of it! Apparently, Bella Swan doesn't want her anymore, and it's most likely because even with another _dyke_ she's still a pathetic whore." She released my hair with a thrust on her final word. I quickly stood up, not looking anyone in the eyes and ran for the exits. I heard James mutter my name as I hastily brushed past him.

I didn't look up as I exited the auditorium. I couldn't stand to see pity in Bella's eyes as well.

As I ran through the hallways, security guards rushed past me on their way to the auditorium. I ignored them and kept running, searching for somewhere to hide. I found Bella's locker and rushed past it to the bathroom at the very end of the hall.

I had no one to turn to now. I was reduced to a pile of tears as I sat alone in a deserted female restroom. No one ever came in here, so I figured it was safe to cry.

**A/n: Y'all really are the best, you know that? You're always here, waiting for me to update and I appreciate that. Here's another chapter for my lovely readers.**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/n: Well guys, we've come full circle. One person asked me about Bella's song for Alice and in my head it sounds like Yiruma's "Destiny of Love" which has to be one of my favorite songs by him. Uh, I intentionally ended the chapter this way just to let you guys conjure up your own endings until I'm free to write the next and final chapter which will be the epilogue. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and thanks for your amazing reviews. :)**

**~Karma. **

"_The worst thing you can do for love is deny it; so when you find that special someone, don't let anyone or anything get in your way."_

**Trapped**

**Twenty**

I had no one to turn to now. I was reduced to a pile of tears as I sat alone in a deserted female restroom. No one ever came in here, so I figured it was safe to cry.

Victoria, that bitch, had humiliated me in front of my peers for the last time. Pulling on my hair was one thing, jealously ruining my clothes was another, but the way she humiliated me today was the last straw for me, the end of my reputation as I knew it.

I know, I sounded so melodramatic crying over my high school reputation but this was different. Now nobody would look at me the same, whether I was in high school or not. Nobody would treat me the same.

What hurt the most was that I wasn't sure if I was angry or not.

A part of me felt hurt, yes. A dominant part, confused. But a sliver of my being was…relieved.

A part of me thanked Victoria for doing what I couldn't do, but that still doesn't take back the things she said, the things she did.

Suddenly I felt violated and vulnerable and…alone.

Not a shoulder to cry on, no arms to wrap around me and no words of comfort whispered in my ear.

Emmett was at football practice with Jasper and Edward, their girlfriends, Rosalie, Maria and Tanya no doubt watching from the bleachers.

And after the horrible things I said to Bella, who knew if she'd ever even take a glance in my direction again.

I struggled with this information, sobbing louder as I remembered her face as she walked away from me.

How could I have been so stupid? How could I have said those things, hurt the one person that meant so much to me?

I didn't blame anyone but myself for this.

I'd pushed her away and it came back to bite me in the ass. When I needed her the most, she was gone.

And I was alone.

When the bell rang, signaling the end of the hour and a half afterschool block, I tried to quiet my sobs, listening for any students lingering from tutoring, performing arts or indoor sports.

When I was sure they'd all left and I was alone again, I released my pain. I could have easily run out to the football field and found Rosalie since the sports teams stayed afterschool for two hours, but I didn't have the strength or the heart to.

I didn't deserve comfort. I deserved to feel the pain I'd inflicted on Bella, and then multiplied by three. But this was simply a glimpse of what I'd done. I couldn't imagine how bad she was hurting. This was simply punishment for my heartless, selfish deeds.

At some point the door to the bathroom creaked open. I didn't have the strength to run and hide in a bathroom stall. I couldn't even lift my head to glare hopelessly at the intruder. I kept my head bowed, tucked between my knees, my arms wrapped around them and I sobbed.

The intruder walked up to me and I would have thought she was a staff member until I opened my eyes and saw a pair of all black Chuck Taylors before me, contrasting against my silver flats.

I still couldn't look up, though. The intruder reached down, placing her warm hands under my arms and pulling me effortlessly to her chest. My hands, squished between our bodies found their way around her waist and I pulled the intruder closer. I didn't want to be alone.

One of the intruder's hands reached up to stroke my hair gently as the other pressed me into her and held me there tightly.

She kept my head pressed against her shoulder, letting me ruin her shirt with my tears.

I still hadn't seen her face, but I didn't need to, I knew who she was.

She placed a comforting kiss in my undeserving hair and held me as I sobbed louder. She was being so nice. I shouldn't deserve this. She shouldn't be comforting me. I should be begging for her forgiveness.

I tried to pull away and apologize to her, but she was stronger than me. She held me in place and continued stroking my hair.

"I-I'm s-s-sor-ry" I stopped, burying my face in her shoulder. "I-" I tried to explain but the words got caught in my throat.

"Shh" she silenced me softly, lovingly. "It's okay" she whispered. "I'm here, it's okay."

I kept trying to apologize but she simply kept whispering "It's okay, I'm here" until my sobs had quieted to hiccups and then disappeared entirely.

She held me still as tears no longer ran down my burning cheeks, stroking and kissing my hair tenderly.

Not a word passed between us as she held me in her strong, loving arms.

I whimpered suddenly, knowing I didn't deserve to be here. She deserved better than me.

"Shh. I'm here, Ali. I'm not going anywhere" she said, holding me forever tighter to her fit body.

I nuzzled my face into her neck and listened to her sigh in content.

"Bella" I mumbled, holding onto her waist desperately. I never wanted to let go.

She buried her face in my hair and for a moment I swore I heard her whimper. When I pulled back to look at her, she simply pulled me back to her chest without a word and held me.

"Bella, will you take me home?" I asked her after a moment of silence. I heard her sniffle before she nodded and turned away from me.

Holding my hand, she dragged me through the school to the parking lot. On the way there, we passed the main entrance where Victoria was standing with her mother, three security guards, the principal and the nurse. When she turned to glare at me, I noticed she was holding a bloody tissue to her nose and a bruise was beginning to form around her left eye. I almost asked Bella what happened before I looked down and saw a few drops of blood on her knuckles. I didn't say a word as we entered the parking lot.

Bella never let my hand go until we reached my room. She'd carried me all the way up the stairs and finally released me onto my bed. She turned to leave but I grabbed her hand quickly.

"Don't leave" I begged her. "Please, don't leave me."

She stared at me for a long time before nodding and crawling into bed with me, bringing the covers up around us. I knew we still weren't on good terms and the altercation between Victoria and I didn't fix things at all. The thought made me want to cry again and Bella pulled me to her chest before a single tear could fall. I remember falling asleep listening to her heartbeat.

When I awoke the next morning, her heart was gone. My head was lying on a cold pillow and Bella was nowhere to be found. My chest ached as I called out for her.

"Bella?" _Silence._

"Bella?" I called again – still no answer.

"Bella, please!" I begged the air. My door creaked open and Rosalie stood in the doorway looking at me sadly.

"She's gone" she said, confirming my nightmare.

I didn't have time to sulk, I needed to find her and tell her what I needed to tell her from the very start. I needed to tell her how much she meant to me, how every morning I wake up searching for her, hoping she'll be there when my eyes open, and when she's not it nearly kills me. I needed to tell her that her very presence meant the world to me and that she was everything I've ever needed in life. I needed to tell her that I wanted to be with her and only her. I needed to tell her that my future is blurry but wherever I end up I can picture her right beside me as clear as day. I needed to stop being afraid and tell her that I loved her – that I still love and I will never stop loving her and her goddamn beautiful hazel eyes.

I burst through the school doors like a crazed woman, searching everywhere for her. Today was the day, there was no turning back. I refused to leave without Bella in my life once more and for good this time. I had no idea what I would do with my mother and her opinion on my relationship with Bella, but I knew for sure that I wasn't letting go of her again. We'd cross that bridge when we got to it in the future.

It seemed as though everywhere I turned, I'd just missed Bella. She'd always be just walking into her classroom or just turning the corner. I couldn't stand it. I couldn't wait until the end of the day to talk to her, I needed to tell her everything and the sooner the better.

I finally found her in the cafeteria sitting with Jacob, Seth, Brandon and Jane and all of my confidence left my body at once. I glanced at Rosalie for support and she nodded her approval. I figured my situation couldn't get any worse, so what did I have to lose? I took slow steps toward Bella and her friends. Jacob was the first to notice me and he whispered something into Bella's ear. She turned around to look at me and slowly removed her sunglasses.

"Bella" I greeted her with a small, shaky smile. She blinked at me but otherwise didn't say a word.

"I want to – I need to –" I stuttered unattractively. I saw the corner of Bella's mouth raise ever so slightly.

"I'm sorry" I mumbled. She raised her eyebrows at me incredulously.

"Sorry? You're sorry, Alice?" Her face was blank and I found myself wishing she'd give me some emotion – any emotion as long as I could identify it.

I nodded.

"Sorry doesn't fix anything." Her words were spoken in a calm tone that scared me more than it should have.

"I – I _know_ that, but I want it to so bad." I glanced around myself nervously and saw people from a few tables staring at us, James being one of them.

"Alice" Bella sighed. Her tone sounded like farewell and I panicked, racking my brain to find something that would change her mind.

"Please, don't give up on me!" I blurted out. She looked at me expectantly. "I messed up, and I hurt you and I broke my own promises but please, don't give up on me."

"Why shouldn't I?" She asked and finally she frowned. I relaxed just a little.

"Because – because I'm trying to be better for you. Letting you go has been one of the worst mistakes of my life and I don't want to lose you for good. I can't – I can't pass up this chance and let you walk out of my life. I need you. There's no going back, Bella!" She shook her head and I tried again, barely hiding my desperation.

"I can't go back from you. There's nobody else…_but_ you. I know I'm confused and I'm scared and I don't have any idea how to fix my life but when you're gone everything is ten times worse! I know I sound desperate but I _am_. I'm willing to chase after you and grovel if that's what it'll take. I know sorry is not enough but Bella I'm so much more than sorry."

"Alice" she sighed again, continuing to shake her head.

"No, Bella! I refuse to let you walk out of my life! I love you!"

Her head snapped up and her eyes met mine. I couldn't read her expression and it scared me, but I kept my eyes trained on hers. "I love you" I whispered again, entirely aware of the whole cafeteria eavesdropping on our conversation. Her eyes suddenly filled with pain.

"What do you want me to do, Alice?" she asked, standing up to tower over me.

I stepped forward slowly, never moving my eyes from hers, and grabbed one of her hands.

"I just want you to love me again."


	21. Epilogue

"_In a world of sorrow, I have found love."_

**Trapped**

**Epilogue**

"Honestly Rosie, I'm still in shock" I giggled into the phone.

"I know, right!" she squealed back. "I mean, everything's going so _right_ these days you know?" I nodded even though she couldn't see me and walked onto the balcony to stare over San Diego. "Ever since the wedding, everything is just going uphill!"

I smiled and listened to my sister ramble happily. I couldn't deny her statement. Ever since she married Emmett three months ago life has been looking up. Actually, ever since we moved to California life has been easy sailing.

Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper graduated a year before Bella and I. Emmett got accepted to multiple schools and went through a stressful period as he tried to decide exactly which school to go to. His mind was made up when Rosalie was accepted to UCLA for Business. Emmett then decided it'd be best for him to attend UCLA on a football scholarship and majoring in technology. In the end, it was a brilliant idea. He was already far enough away from the only real family he had and separating himself from the love of his life would end up being disastrous.

He and said love of his life graduated four years later and rented a lovely apartment to live in as they went on to graduate school. By 25 years old, they were both done with school and Emmett went straight into the IT world with big dreams of one day working for Apple. It hasn't happened yet, but now – at the age of 27 – he's making a fat enough paycheck to pay for a lovely house for himself and his new wife. Rosalie, on the other hand was working as an advisor to a big time toy company until I finished graduate school just last year with a degree in fashion design. We recently opened up our own boutique in San Diego called _The Velvet Rope _– hence the squealing. Tanya, who became a model, continues to put in a good word with her celebrity friends and we're already packed with meetings for custom made ball gowns.

Now, with income pouring in for both Rosie and her husband, they don't know what to do with their leftover money, but I'm pretty sure they're going to start a family soon.

As for Tanya and Edward, she broke up with him during senior year when she found out that he was having an ongoing affair with Jasper's twitchy ex-girlfriend, Maria. It's been a while since I've spoken to either one of them, but last I heard, Edward was being forced into the family business and was destined to take over his father's position as Chief of Surgery. I promised myself I'd never go to Seattle General Hospital again. And Maria had apparently gotten pregnant with Edward's baby but his parents refused to allow her into the family. Now, she's stuck in Port Angeles working as a waitress and taking care of their illegitimate son.

Jasper, on the other hand, went to California Western School of Law here in San Diego and he's now working alongside James in a very classy law firm. Of course, they have to work their way up the corporate ladder, but I'm sure they can make it.

After Jasper found out the news about Maria's infidelity, he immediately came to me and apologized for doubting my suspicion. I could tell he was heartbroken so I never rubbed it in his face. To this day, a piece of him yearns for Maria and hates her all at once, but ever since he rented Emmett's old apartment and met Charlotte, the girl three doors down, he hasn't been so sad anymore. Add to the fact that Emmett – who later bought the building he used to live in – passed the deed on to Jasper and let him run the place. Now he has a few extra dollars in his pocket and really, who doesn't like extra income?

From what I know, Jacob, Seth and Brandon scattered. I'm pretty sure Jake went to Penn State and Seth to Columbia. I often forget where Brandon went, though he told me about three times. For now, let's settle on Georgia Tech, yea, that sounds good.

You already know my deal. It's been three years since I told my mother that I no longer wanted her influence on my life. I told her the news on the anniversary of my father's death. He died of a heart attack the day my mother left me that horrendous note in my junior year of High School. My mother so graciously informed us of his death later that year… months later… on my birthday.

I went to the Art Institute of California for my undergraduate years and then the University of Southern California for graduate school. I spent my first year out of college working as both Tanya's assistant – which gave me some connections of my own – and as an intern with a local celebrity designer. I'm now working with Rosalie and living in a fancy condo that I can afford thanks to Tanya, the genius that eagerly flows from my fashion design and Rosalie's expert business technique, and of course the store itself. But I'm not paying for the condo on my own.

I now live with Bella who also went to the University of Southern California for both graduate and undergraduate school and left happily with a degree in social work. She now works as a case worker and puts every fiber of her being into her job, trying as hard as she can to prevent a child from living through the terror she was forced to live through. To say I'm proud of her would be an understatement.

"Rosie, at some point you're going to have to stop squealing or I'm pretty sure Em's going to rip the phone from your ears."

"I dare him" she growled through the phone. I rolled my eyes and chuckled, wondering if I acted like her when I was excited.

"Rosie?" I asked seriously, remembering the reason I'd called her in the first place.

"Yea?"

"Do you think Bella's cheating on me?" I bit my lip and nervously waited for her answer as I shuffled inside and shut the balcony doors.

"Why would you think that?" she asked after a pause that was entirely too long.

"You know something" I accused, narrowing my eyes at the wooden living room floor.

"I don't know a thing, but I'm pretty sure she wouldn't do something like that. Why would you make such a terrible conclusion anyway?"

I shrugged and padded up the spiral stairs to the master bedroom.

"I don't know" I sighed, throwing myself onto the bed and rolling over to face Bella's side. "She's just been acting so _strange_ lately. She never looks me in the eyes anymore and we barely make love these days" I whined.

"Seriously, Alice?" Rosalie chuckled.

"No, I'm serious! She's always checking the time or the calendar. It's like she's waiting for something and I don't know what that is! It's driving me crazy!"

"Alice, just calm down. Bella wouldn't do anything to hurt you so just relax and let her tell you on her own time."

"But I want her to tell me now" I pouted. I could hear her laugh again as she put me on speaker phone.

"Well too bad" she giggled sounding far, far away. "I'm making dinner for Emmett now so I'll see you tomorrow okay?"

I sighed deeply and pouted into the phone. "You never make dinner for me."

She laughed out loud and replied, "That's Bella's job. Go take a nap or something – and be patient!"

"Fine" I relented and hung up on a laughing Rosalie. She was in on the secret. She had to be, and patience was something I was running low on these days. I didn't think I had enough _patience_ to wait for Bella to tell me her secret. I decided I'd have to force it out of her. With a mischievous smile on my face I closed my eyes and took Rosalie's halfhearted advice.

Bella woke me up a few hours later with a kiss to my neck. When I opened my eyes she was smiling down at me with her hazel eyes shining.

"What happened to you?" I asked her, unable to hide my own smile.

"Do you remember Peter?" she asked me. I nodded. I did remember the orphaned boy who managed to be homeless. Bella brought him home one day for dinner and I found him to be rather charming for a 10 year old.

"He has a brother" she said happily.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yea, they were separated after their parents died and Peter's been searching for him but the brother was adopted before Peter entered the orphanage." Bella was still smiling. I simply waited for her to get to the happy part.

"Well I found Alec – Pete's younger brother – and it turns out he was adopted by Jacob's parents who wanted to have another child after Jake but _couldn't_. Billy agreed to meet with me and Pete at work today since I can't take Pete out of state and he and his wife want to adopt Pete _too_!"

I grinned, genuinely happy for Bella and Peter and his new family. He deserved one and Bella had been so stressed trying to help Peter out. They all deserved a happy ending in my book.

"And you know what tops it all off?" Bella asked me, unbuttoning her white, collared shirt before pulling it completely off of her body and throwing it behind her. I shook my head and stared at the black lace bra I'd bought her from Victoria's Secret.

She moved so she was on top of me and I opened my legs to accept her comforting weight. She leaned down and kissed my neck sweetly.

"Tomorrow is your birthday" she said, smiling against my skin.

"Why does that make everything better?" I whispered distractedly while reaching down to grasp her firm butt.

She sat back and pulled my shirt up and over my head. She groaned when she saw that I wasn't wearing a bra before sliding down my body to rip off my leggings and panties. She spoke as I reached up to undo her slacks and push them down with her underwear.

"Because, I have a surprise for you" she grinned before moving her face to exactly where I needed her to be.

"Do you?" I asked breathlessly as her tongue entered me. She nodded between my thighs and after that, no more words were spoken.

The next day was indeed my birthday and Bella took the entire day off to set up while I was at work. I tried to get Rosalie to tell me what was going on but she avoided every one of my advances and instead devoted her attention to one of our customers. Rosalie managed to find me extra work to do in the hopes of keeping me busy while she went out to "run some errands" but judging by the shopping bag she tried to hide upon her return, I'm pretty sure she went shopping for a special outfit for tonight.

When the time came for me to close up shop, Rosalie ran out the doors with her shopping bag and left me to myself so I couldn't ambush her about what to expect. After locking the front door, I got a call from Jasper and smiled as I greeted him.

"Hello there, stranger." I heard him chuckle lowly.

"Yes, yes, I know I haven't been around lately. I'm sorry." I rolled my eyes.

"Yea, stuff it goldilocks. How's that new girlfriend of yours?" I wiggled my eyebrows suggestively as he laughed.

"She's not my girlfriend, Alice."

"Right, of course. I forgot you were holding out on her" I grinned.

"Alice…" he warned.

"I'm just saying. You're going to be together eventually. Just hurry it along, I'd like another sister."

He ignored me like I knew he would. I was completely serious though. "What are you doing today?" he asked.

"Aren't you coming down for my birthday?" I asked, confused. Last week he told me he'd be here.

"Of course I am, but I thought we'd hang out a little before we went. It's been a while since I've seen my little sister." I could practically hear the crooked smile spreading across his face. And that's how we ended up at the movie theatre half an hour later. He kept checking the time and I was convinced he was in on the plan, too. I was sure Emmett was in on it because our conversations never got past the pleasantries. He never was one for keeping secrets. When the movie was over, Jasper got a suspicious phone call that I'm pretty sure wasn't from Charlotte and ran off to answer it. I sneaked around the corner to eavesdrop, only catching the end of the conversation.

"I got this, Bella" he whisper-shouted into the phone. When he hung up and turned around, I was behind him glaring.

"What was that about?" I demanded. His eyes shifted nervously and settled anywhere but me. He grabbed my hand and quickly walked me to my car before shutting the door and telling me to go home.

With a sigh I obliged. I didn't know where else to go and everyone knew the big secret besides me. I parked my car in the reserved parking and walked past the friendly doorman that oddly reminded me of Pee Wee Herman. Maybe it was because he was always smiling. Regardless, it was a bit creepy.

The elevator ride up to the penthouse was long and incredibly annoying with people getting on and off at almost every floor of the 12 stories.

I unlocked the door and turned around to turn on the lights. After shutting the door and turning back around, my breath rushed right out of my lungs. Rose petals littered the floor, marking a path from the door all the way up to the master bedroom. The door was slightly ajar and the lights were on and dimmed. I pushed the door open completely to find more petals circling the bed and a white box with a red ribbon lying in its center. I opened it carefully and found a note inside that read:

_I'm not good with fashion like you and Rose, so you can thank her for the dress. _

_Get ready, put the dress on and then read the note at the bottom of the box._

I did as told and slipped the red, asymmetrical dress on. I loved how my right shoulder was exposed and decided to style my hair in an up do to show off the skin for Bella. When I was done with my make-up and stuffed my purse full of the essentials, I slipped my silver heeled shoes on – the ones Bella loved – and read the note at the bottom of the box.

_I really hope you followed my directions. _

_Downstairs, I have a car waiting to take you to your destination. On your way out, take the red envelope from Pee Wee and open it when you get to your destination. _

_Love, Bella_

I laughed at our nickname for the doorman and did as I was told yet again. When I got to the lobby, Pee Wee was waiting for me with the envelope in hand.

"Happy Birthday, Miss McCarty" he said through a grin and handed me the envelope. I thanked him and walked through the door he held open for me. I searched around for the car Bella arranged for me but I didn't see it. A man in a suit approached me and asked, "Miss McCarty?" I nodded hesitantly and he moved to open the door to a sleek limousine. _She can't be serious_ I thought to myself and reached for my phone to call Bella when the driver cleared his throat.

"Um, a Miss Bella Swan says that she in fact _is_ serious. I don't know what it means but she asked that I pass the message along. Now, if you will…" he gestured towards the limousine and I entered without a word.

It was a long drive before we finally reached Pacific Terrace Hotel. As I entered the lobby I opened the envelope and read an invitation.

_You, __Guest of Honor__, are cordially invited to celebrate the birthday of Alice McCarty._

_Invitation Only_

_Location:_

_Pacific Ballroom at the Pacific Terrace Hotel_

_9:00 PM_

_Formal attire, please._

I walked over to the front desk and showed them the invitation. The manager then pointed me in the direction of the ballroom where I, again, flashed the invitation in order for the doors to be opened for me.

A band consisting of a violinist, a cello player and a pianist played softly in a corner of the room that appeared to be empty. A table was set up in the middle of the room with a multitude of empty seats surrounding it. I walked down the steps and approached the table where a single seat was pulled out farther than the others. In the seat laid a single sunflower – my favorite flower.

I turned around, searching for Bella and saw her walk out of the shadows where I wouldn't see her upon entry. She was followed by Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Charlotte, Tanya, James and to my surprise, Jacob, Seth, Brandon, Charlie and Renee.

They all engulfed me in a large group hug and shouted their birthday wishes. But even as we sat around the table for dinner – with an empty seat left for my father – I had a feeling this wasn't the only surprise. I let the feeling go for the time being and enjoyed the short time I was allowed to spend with my loved ones and I pretended not to notice Tanya and Jacob's closeness throughout the night.

I did, however, spy Jasper leaning in to place a sweet kiss on Charlotte's caramel cheek and tried my best to fight the _awww_ that threatened to escape.

Everyone was glancing at me continuously with secrets in their eyes and before I could call them out on it, Bella asked me to dance with her.

I smiled and took her hand as she led me to the open space between the table and the band. I could feel our family's eyes on us as we swayed. I took the time to distract myself by appraising Bella's outfit. She wore dark gray slacks and a matching jacket. Her silk blouse – unbuttoned at the top – matched the color of my gown. I looked down to see her wearing a lovely pair of red and gray flats. I smiled and looked up into her eyes.

"We're matching."

"You can thank Rosalie for that" she chuckled.

"And, you're looking all girly. Is that for me?" I teased, laying my head on her shoulder.

"Well, it's definitely not for me" she teased right back, making me smile.

"Happy Birthday, Alice." I let go of her hand and wrapped my arms around her neck as we continued to dance.

"I have another surprise for you" she said cautiously.

"What is it?" I hummed into her neck.

"Well, um –" she stuttered and I moved to look at her. She stopped moving suddenly and took a step back to look at my entire face, shoving her hands into her pockets along the way.

"We've had a few rough patches" she stated, I nodded the obvious answer. "But we've gotten over them fairly well, right?" I nodded again.

"We're good for each other, perfect even, don't you think?"

"Bella, where are you going with this?" I asked.

"Okay, bear with me. What I'm trying to say is, uh –" she reached up to rub the back of her neck before looking at me again.

"Relax, Bella" I urged.

"I love you, Alice." I smiled sweetly at her. After all this time she still felt nervous telling me those three little words.

"I love you too, Bella." I stepped towards her but she held out a hand to stop me.

"No, that's not it." I cocked my head to the side and looked at her curiously.

She opened her mouth to say something, a flood of emotions clouding her eyes before she snapped her mouth shut and looked down. I tried to reassure her but before the words came out of my mouth, she spoke.

"I had a whole speech prepared and maybe I'll let you read it later, but the words just don't seem right anymore. They don't seem like they're enough anymore. There has to be a stronger word than _love_ to express how I feel about you, but since there isn't I'll just have to show you everyday…" she looked at me from under her lashes. "For the rest of my life."

And then she lowered herself slowly to one knee and pulled her remaining hand out of her pocket. I moved towards her as she placed a simple diamond ring in my hand. It seemed too familiar for words and as I read the inscription on the inside, I realized with a gasp that it was her mother's engagement ring. It read: _In a world of sorrow, I have found love_. I looked down at Bella to find her hazel eyes smoldering.

"Marry me, Alice."

And who was I to deny her?

_**The**__** Beginning**_


	22. Dedications

**A/n: And there you have it folks, Bella and Alice's story from beginning to end. It's been a long, bumpy road hasn't it? I'd like to thank you guys for sticking with me. I hope I've entertained you well enough and I promise I'll be back to right something brand new as soon as possible.**

**I would like to dedicate this story to the Alices and Bellas out there struggling to find each other.**

**And for the Isabellas and Margots, living with their Athenadoras.**

**For the Charlies and Renees mourning their Angelas.**

**And for Madison, should you happen across this in our lifetime.**

** For my readers and reviewers, thanks guys :)**

**And lastly, for those of you who are still _Trapped_**

**xoxo**

**~Karma**


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